


Living on a Prayer

by didsomeonesayventus



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Angels, Alternate Universe - Guardian Angels, Angel/Human Relationships, Angels, Blood, Blood and Injury, Crimes & Criminals, Drinking, Excessive Drinking, Homophobic Language, Injury, M/M, Organized Crime, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-26
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-04-06 08:07:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 23
Words: 47,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4214406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/didsomeonesayventus/pseuds/didsomeonesayventus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Xehanort (the II) never really had an opportunity to walk a clean path as the grandson of the notorious crime leader "Master" Xehanort. But he's still got a chance to swerve out of the way of the path of darkness and sin, someone's just gotta nudge him into the light.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An Introduction

Being the grandson of one of Twilight Town’s most notorious crime bosses never did Xehanort any favors. Nor did sharing his name. It was less favors and more growing up knowing how to play rough, how to read people, how to avoid the police. Still he was never terribly troubled, since merely mentioning his namesake sent everyone running.

The city hummed around his small alleyway view. People minding their own business, huddled to themselves and avoiding matters that weren’t theirs. Xehanort pulled out a small box, tapped it a couple times, and got out a cigarette and his lighter. It’d been a long, long day.

He was about to light it- the small paper and tobacco rod was between his teeth and hands primed to start a spark -when he saw an odd sight out of the corner of his eye. 

A young man, certainly a few years younger than him. His eyes were a bright, innocent blue that seemed to shine from the inside and occasionally a brown spike of hair swung in the way from his lively gait. Xehanort felt his eyes narrow in question at the aviator jacket he wore that was at least three sizes too big. Hand-me-down, perhaps? A distasteful one at that. The simple ensemble underneath was in better taste- jeans and a plain white shirt -but still an odd choice of dress for the grimy alley tucked away from the hustle and bustle of things.

“So,” the kid said, “Xehanort, right? Prob’ly don’t wanna light that.”

Just met him and already telling him what to do. Xehanort shook his head and lit his cigarette. After taking a quick puff, he curtly corrected the newbie with the smoke still lingering in the air, “It’s Xeha to most people around here. My grandfather is Xehanort.”

The young man looked miffed by the fact Xehanort ignored him, but shrugged. While Xehanort quietly continued smoking, he said, “Well, how’s it been?”

Xehanort was surprised. Most at least paled when he mentioned he was related to THE Xehanort. Master Xehanort, most called him, due to the fact he seemed to be a degree above everyone he met and had so many connections. Someone who was definitely not to be trifled with. So this kid had either never heard of him or was stupid. Who knew maybe both.

The boy got another taste of smoke as Xehanort replied, “Do I know you?”

He shrugged, “Not really, but I know _you_.” He then tried to get the conversation going somewhere, “You enjoy the dangerous life?”

“What I know.” Xehanort replied. There was another pause for another puff.

“I asked if you liked it.” The boy said, firmer, “What you know and what you like are very different.”

“If you’re going to be insistent,” Xehanort hissed mildly, “it’s dangerous and I like it.”

The young man seemed unconvinced, “Ever thought of settling down with a nice girl-” Xehanort rolled his eyes at this, but then again it wasn’t his fault he kept his personal tastes in the closet full of skeletons, “living something quiet, relaxing, not worrying about dying a painful death?”

Xehanort tapped off a few ashes, “But that’s the fun part.”

“But is it really fun, Xeha?” He asked.

Xehanort kept silent and kept smoking. Maybe if he ignored the boy he’d realize he was too green for this part of the city and he’d go away. What made Xehanort happy was his business and his business alone. His life right now was what he knew, and he wasn’t inclined to change at the moment. He had yet to find any suitable fellow to romance either, so for now his heart was tucked away.

“Won’t really get a boyfriend like this, either.”

Xehanort inhaled so much smoke he coughed. He kept that secret under a tight lock. No one knew, not any arguable friends and not even his family. He stared at the young man. Or maybe glowered was a more appropriate description. Easy enough to read as offended to be called gay instead of offended a secret was discovered. “ _Excuse me?_ ” Xehanort murmured.

The young man shrugged with a chuckle at some unknown joke, “Didn’t you hear me? I figured you wouldn’t get a girlfriend like this, either.”

Xehanort blinked. Didn’t he say “boyfriend” earlier? Was he just testing limits, prying bits? Or maybe he was just backpedaling from his faux pas? Or was it just a joke badly taken?

The boy turned and left, “I guess I’ll see ya when I see ya.”

Xehanort got out another cigarette and resumed his smoking, miffed. He glanced up to see if the boy was gone and the cigarette dropped from his mouth.

Was that a pair of snow white wings, far larger than any bird he’d known?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I'm going crazy but at least I am gonna have fun with it.


	2. Be a Pistachio

It was an afternoon or two before Xehanort saw the young man again. He was nursing a drink, and had almost forgotten about the boy before he pulled up a stool right next to him.

Ignoring Xehanort’s glare, he cheerily ordered a glass of water and said, “How’re ya now, Xeha?” The boy took the silence and added, “Still living dangerous, I suppose.”

Xehanort pushed aside his drink, “You act as if you know me-”

“I do-”

“as a close friend when we’ve met only once before.” Xehanort finished with an irritated sigh.

The young man shrugged.

Xehanort asked, “Are you even old enough to be here-” 

“I am!” The young man said indignantly. His water arrived and he took a sip.

Xehanort shook his head, “Why are you getting water, then?”

“I don’t drink.” He said, just as offended. Maybe a little mildly embarrassed by it. He quickly changed the subject, “I-I didn’t give you my name yesterday, did I?”

Xehanort took a sip himself, “No, you didn’t-”

“Sora.” Xehanort paused and looked at the young man. “It’s Sora.” He said a little firmer. He fluffed his jacket a bit. He then quietly added, “Someone told me you needed some help.”

Xehanort looked him over. He didn’t see anything that could resemble a badge, and he acted so young and naive... “So, Sora...” Xehanort hesitated, “who sent you?”

Sora took another sip, thinking about his answer. He finally divulged, “Bigger than you think.”

Xehanort nodded. Bluff, or bigger than the police? Then again when it came to this what was bigger- oh yes the feds. This was intriguing. “Here, you know what?” Xehanort grinned, waving the bartender over and ordering a round with a discreet whisper, “I guess if we’re gonna be friends I should get you a drink.”

Sora nervously laughed, “I-I’m serious I don’t-” A pina colada was shoved in front of him, “drink...” He looked away with wide eyes and drank some more water.

Xehanort patted Sora’s back and turned the young man to him, “Come now, just a few glasses...” Just a few glasses and Sora would be spilling his secrets all over the floor like the completely smashed bar residents in the corner throwing up. Sora looked at the drink, sighed, and took another sip of water.

“Already paying for it, you might as well since I can’t finish all this on my own, now can I?” Xehanort gave another gentle shove. He held up his own drink, “To our new friendship.”

“Yeah... uh...” Sora made a small gesture over his drink with an indistinct murmur, and shortly after their glasses clinked and Sora took a sip, “friendship.”

A few more glasses later Sora was on a constant babble. His cheeks were bright red and he kept rambling about everything that came to mind, which was either how funny humans were or some topic of moral debate. Xehanort kept getting drinks for Sora, and the poor guy seemed to drunk to realize Xehanort had stopped ordering for himself.

“L-look... Xehanort...” Sora pointed a shaky finger at him, “Y-you’re notdoin’ too good...” Xehanort absently nodded as if he was actually listening. Sora continued, “You gotta be good, Xeha...” Sora took another gulp of his liquor, “Y-you gottabe good or yer gonna end up in hell like- like bigger you...”

Xehanort raised an eyebrow when Sora leaned forward and held his shoulder, “T-that’s why I’m here Xeha I’m here to makeya... make ya good again... Gotta be a good boy... A good boy like- like that puppet kid...” Sora trailed off and leaned back to find the name he was thinking of, “T-the one with the cricket conscience...” Sora snapped his fingers with a triumphant word, proud he’d remembered the name, “Pistachio.”

“Sora,” Xehanort said gently, “I think we should go.” He left his tab on the bar with a generous tip for compliance. With Sora having one arm around him, Xehanort left the bar and tried to ignore anyone who looked at his companion.

When outside, Xehanort asked, “So, Sora... got any secrets?” He waited for Sora to respond with baited breath. Sora was either too drunk to care or too drunk to tell.

Sora giggled. “Secrets? I got lotsa secrets...”

Xehanort grinned. All according to plan. He asked, “What are they, then?”

Sora suddenly took the lead, dragging Xehanort along, “I-I’ll show ya!” Wobbling the whole way, he lead Xehanort up a building. Four stories up. “Y-you can’t tell anyone, okay? Not even... Not even your socks, Xeha!”

The wind whistled through their ears on top of the building. Sora’s jacket made booming “fwap”s as pockets of air came and went. Xehanort didn’t know what exact secrets Sora was going to divulge if this was the venue required.

“Sora, what is your secret?” Xehanort asked.

Sora stood on the edge of the roof. He turned around grinning, “I-it’s a fun one, Xeha.”

Xehanort’s brow furrowed, “Sora? Sora what secret involves-”

“Shhh.” Sora held a finger to his lips, still grinning. He then waved, and promptly leaned back and then fell off the roof.

“OH MY GOD!” Xehanort screamed. He ran to the edge and bent over it. A feather drifted by. “Oh my God...” He whispered again. There was no body in sight. Four story drop, no one could survive that. This was a first, getting someone so drunk they were convinced they were able to drop off the face of the earth and survive. What would he tell the poor boy’s parents-

There was a tap on his shoulder, “Pretty cool, eh Xeha?”

Xehanort whirled around. Sora hiccuped a little and swayed in the breeze. He was grinning ear-to-ear. He then started laughing at Xehanort’s taut, fear struck face, “Duuuudddeeeeee, your _face!_ ” He laughed harder than Xehanort had heard anyone laugh before, “Man, I haven’t seen a face like that in centuries!”

This was a joke. Sora... Hadn’t Sora dropped right off the edge? Into the street? He was dead, right? This was some sort of joke. Or maybe he was duped. Sora was a street magician. A sleight of... whole body. Yes that made sense.

Sora wrapped an arm around Xehanort, “L-look... Xeahsnot...” If he was a street magician, then he was incredibly good even intoxicated. “You... You got a good path ahead man. You just gotta be like Pistachio. Get yourself a good cricket.” He rambled some more about being good and doing the right thing, but then he finally seemed to understand Xehanort’s alarmed expression and asked, “Oh, oh y-you’re... you’re wondering how I did that eh?”

Xehanort nodded slowly. An intoxicated street magician who was breaking the golden rule of street magic, then. Of course.

“Okay, okay, okay,” Sora backed up to the center of the roof, “dude you’re gonna love this.” He then held out some shaky hands, “Dude you can’t tell anyone, okay? I-I’m serious you really can’t tell anyone.” He muttered a few more “okay”s and then stood straight as he could.

Xehanort watched as Sora’s jacket rustled differently. Something was moving, and then suddenly unfurling. Wings. GIgantic wings. Bright white even in the darkness of night with the slightest iridescent sheen and so smooth they looked like polished seashells. They were _gorgeous_. But they were also wings. Real wings. On someone’s back.

“Eh? Ehhh?” Sora laughed, turning around and grinning.

“ _Holy shit_.” Xehanort whispered.

Sora turned right back around, shaking his head and hand in a clearly uncoordinated way, “No, no, no. Shit can’t be holy, dummy.” He giggled, “I-I guess can bless it for you though.”

Xehanort thought about what he ordered. Was he just as unflinchingly drunk? Had the bartender misunderstood his request and put drugs in the drinks? He was surely dreaming.

He was tackled by Sora, enclosed in an arm and a wing, “Xeha, Xeha... Y-you’re gonna be good. I can feel it, dude. A-and the dad is gonna put you where you’re supposed to be and, uhh... The cloudy things will welcome you to the angels and, ah...” Sora clearly knew what he was saying, as if he had said it many times before, but the message flopped around and words got mixed together. He finally gave up after a few alcohol-controlled sentences and pushed Xehanort’s chest in what was probably meant to be a gentle pat, “Just gotta be good, okay?”

He wobbled off, “Just gotta be a Pistachio, okay Xeha?” He stood on the edge, “I’ll see ya... See ya sometime... be a Pistachio now, okay?” He fell off. Xehanort rushed over, and saw Sora fly away. He almost hit a building, and Xehanort heard him yell, “Who put that bricky window thing there?!”

When Sora was gone, Xehanort quietly went back to his apartment and gave every bottle of liquor he had to anyone who wanted it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drunk Sora was the best thing to write _ever_


	3. Reunion

Xehanort was paranoid the whole week. He was trying to understand if that night was just some crazy dream or hallucination. Whenever something unfortunate happened he flinched and uttered any kind of prayer that came to mind. He thought he saw the boy- still wearing that three sizes too big jacket -on the roof, reading the paper, walking behind him just out of sight.

He sighed and settled down into his couch and turned on the news. That’d calm him down. He put his feet on the coffee table’s lower shelf and sank into his couch. What was the news today anyways? Something... Well he didn’t understand the issue entirely but it was distracting. Good, okay, that was good...

Sora quietly landed on Xehanort’s apartment balcony. He waved, smiling and hoping that Xehanort didn’t think anything too bad about that one night. It was fun. Not being able to see his new acquaintance this whole week was not. Xehanort didn’t do anything. Sora frowned and knocked on the glass.

Xehanort lifted his head, and his heart dropped to the bottom floor of the building.

Oh no.

It was _him_.

He was frowning.

Oh no oh no oh no.

Xehanort stood, knocking the coffee table over with a yell. No, a scream. He ran around his apartment screaming because he was going to hell for all this and he was not ready not ready at all. Sora watched Xehanort screeching like a lunatic and knocking over his furniture with a mute horror. He did his job too well, apparently.

“Xeha,” he said. Xehanort continued screaming. Sora tried opening the door, “Xehanort!” Locked, no good. Xehanort was continuing to yell about how he wasn’t ready to go to hell yet. Sora sighed and decided that Xeha already knew he wasn’t an ordinary person, so what was the harm in phasing through the door?

Xehanort was even louder inside. Sora plugged his ears, “Xeha!”

“PLEASE I’M SORRY I’M SORRY FOR EVERYTHING-”

“Xehanort!”

“I’M NOT READY YET-”

“XEHANORT SHUT UP!”

Xehanort quieted to a whimper from behind the overturned couch. Sora walked over and bent over. Xehanort looked up at him. They stared at each other. Sora must’ve seemed tall and intimidating, but honestly he was on the short end of heights. It was probably the whole cowering deal that got Xehanort feeling so small. Sora sighed and looked around the apartment. Trashed completely.

“Look-”

“I’m so sorry I didn’t know-”

“Xeha-”

“Please God I’m not ready yet-”

“Xehanort-”

“I’m young I got time-”

“Dude you’re okay.”

Xehanort looked at Sora as if he was speaking another language. Sora shrugged, “Dude you’re fine.” He then chuckled awkwardly, “I mean, I was the one who accepted the drinks.” Sora added, “I mean... I haven’t seen you for a week because of it.”

Xehanort continued staring.

Sora sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, “Look...” He waved his hand, “The place is a mess... Ah, can we... I dunno... Clean it up?”

Xehanort shakily nodded. He stood and they rearranged everything back to how it was. When finished, Xehanort slowly sank down onto his couch, eyes wide. Sora flopped right down as if there was no issue. He sighed. Xehanort hunched over, head in his hands, trying not to look at Sora.

Sora looked at his fingernails, “So...”

Xehanort got up and paced.

“You’re not in trouble, just in danger.” Sora said.

Xehanort started making himself coffee. This was gonna be another long night with Sora.

“Ah, I like mine with lotsa sugar and cream.” Sora told Xehanort in an attempt to help.

Xehanort settled right back down on the couch with a black, dreary cup to try and wake himself from this nightmare. He handed Sora an empty mug. He’d done enough, and he was not going to add “fucked up an angel’s cup of coffee” to the list.

Sora made himself a cup and settled back down. He stirred it in his hands a moment, then leaned forward, “You okay?”

Xehanort made a small grunt. Prob’ly not.

Sora closed his eyes, and felt the ripple as one wing extended itself. It was kinda hard to explain how it worked. His wings existed on the physical plain when he wanted them to, but otherwise they were tucked away in what he supposed could be called a pocket dimension. But when they were out they were very real.

He gently wrapped the wing around Xehanort, “It’s fine, ya know.”

Xehanort flinched away from the wing, then held his hand inches from it. “R-real?” He asked.

“Real,” Sora smiled, “wanna touch?”

Xehanort went with the feathers at first, and they were smoother than anything he had ever felt. Sora hummed. Xehanort then went against them, and Sora’s eyes snapped open. He smiled, crooked. That was interesting.

Xehanort withdrew his hand, “S-sorry-”

“You’re fine.” Sora folded the wing back in.

Silence.

“So you’re a-”

“Angel, yep.” Sora took a sip of his coffee. He set it in his lap. It was really warm. He couldn’t tell if that was the coffee or him, though.

“W-what’s it like?” Xehanort asked.

Sora frowned. He took a deep sip of his coffee. Then he set the mug down and readjusted his jacket. Still, like, three sizes too big. “Ah, well...” He got a sad smile, “It’s great...” He shrugged and pulled the fluffy collar up higher, “Kinda lonely I guess...” Sora stirred his cup a little, "I-I mean... I'm always moving around, knowing a lot, seeing a lot, meeting a lot of people... but..." He shrugged, "I never really get to sit down with anyone very often." Sora laughed bitterly, "I mean, when you got me those drinks... best night of my life in a long time..."

After a minute or two of silence, Xehanort asked, "So... I'm not going to hell for it?"

Sora looked at him, “What? Nahh... I took the brunt of that, you didn’t know, but I did.”

Sora stood up, “Ah... I should go...”

Xehanort watched him. And then his gaze lowered, and he bit the inside of his cheek.

Sora opened the sliding door and walked out. He turned to wave over his shoulder, “Don’t throw your life away, okay? You got a friend in a high place who’s rooting for you.”

He jumped off the balcony and was gone, with only a single feather left.

Xehanort caught the feather. Gorgeous. Sora was gorgeous. Everything about him was gorgeous. Then Xehanort sighed and dumped his coffee- still hot -right in his face for even thinking that Sora had a nice butt.

Meanwhile, Sora was looking at himself in a building window. Did he have a nice butt? Xeha seemed to think so. He wasn’t one to really know, honestly.

He flew off thinking about Xehanort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these two are so gay


	4. Distractions

Sora was now a weekly phenomenon. He’d stop by, get some coffee, talk. He brought out his wings upon request, answered what questions he was allowed to. Anything afterlife related was on a tight lid, and neither of them wanted to repeat the Pistachio incident.

Every week he’d leave with the same question:

“Getting better?”

And Xehanort would reply:

“Maybe.”

He was starting to retreat from the family business. Paying less and less attention to it and focusing more on a real job. Perhaps Sora was working. He scoffed at the thought. The angel was doing what he was supposed to. Sora wasn’t some kind of cold pill that was popped and then suddenly Xehanort was a good person again.

Xehanort’s cellphone rang and he answered without looking, “Yeah?”

“Junior,” came a familiar gravel-filled drawl, “we got some goods coming in.”

“With Ansem?” Xehanort asked.

“Indeed,” Master Xehanort confirmed, “and I want you to keep an eye on it.”

“Right...” Xehanort said. “Usual?”

“Usual.”

“Thanks gramps.”

Xehanort hung up to Master Xehanort’s laugh. He never liked it a terrible amount, too wheezy, too stereotypical bad guy mixed with something more sinister. But grandfather was grandfather, and who could deny him? Especially when he had more hands in more pockets than anyone else?

“Xeha!”

Xehanort looked at the balcony and there Sora was again. He let himself in, sitting down and smiling, “How ya doin’?”

“Just... ah...” Xehanort hesitated, wondering just how well Sora could read his thoughts, “Just got a job.”

“Job, huh?” Sora repeated.

“I need to get in a taxi to get there.” Xehanort stood and adjusted his clothes. Specifically Ansem’s taxi, which was likely loaded with whatever contraband his grandfather needed or wanted. The he’d ride it over to the meet-up point and keep watch the entire ride-

“Comin’ with you!” Sora bumbled past the furniture with a cheery cry. Xehanort hadn’t realized he was almost out the door already, and quietly grabbed his cigarettes- Sora’s hand covered the box, “No. Those’ll kill you.”

“That,” Xehanort yanked the box away, “was a particularly expensive brand, so if I’m going to quit I will at least finish the pack.”

Sora frowned, but rolled his eyes and followed Xeha out the door. They waited for a bit in the foggy morning, and Sora kept wondering why taxis kept rumbling past. He also wondered why Xehanort was thinking in vague swaths of thought, nothing too specific and with names like “that street” or “that landmark”. Xehanort silently started a cigarette just as a cab rolled over.

Xehanort blew out his smoke, “Ansem?”

The window rolled down, “Kiddo.” Sora lifted an eyebrow at the resemblance between this Ansem fellow and Xeha- the same dark skin, white hair, gold eyes. But Ansem had a longer face, more age to him, and most of his hair was slicked back unlike Xehanort’s more subtle slick and his stringy bangs.

Xehanort nodded, and ducked into the cab. Sora was about to follow, but not before Ansem held up his hand, “Exclusive ride, joe-”

“His name is Sora and I’m bringing him with me.” Xehanort explained, “He’s good company.”

Ansem questioned this for a moment, but then nodded and waved Sora in, “Well, we don’t have all day.”

Sora slid into the cab uncertainly. He closed the door, and the taxi rumbled to life to coast down the street. Ansem was a good driver, dodging traffic and taking routes that were out of the way from it.

Sora eventually rolled down a window because of Xehanort, “Dude, you gotta stop that it’s disgusting.”

“I’ll stop when I please,” Xehanort said. He showed off a bit, however, and breathed out a small “O” in the air.

Sora sighed, “Cool, but not, okay?” Sora heard Ansem swear, and the he glanced in the mirror to see red and blue lights. “Xeha...” He whined.

Xehanort shook his head, “We’re good. Remain calm.” Internally he panicked, but he’d been in situations like this before. He sent a quick text:

[To: Rooty-tooty-point-n-shooty]

[I hate your company, but corner of Walter Av and Tetsuya St]  
[NOW]  
[start the distraction {unsent}]

Xehanort put away his phone, thumb primed to send the last message when needed, just as they pulled over. He looked at Sora who was earnestly tapping his leg with his head in the other hand resting on the window. His blue eyes were full of worry.

“Just pulled over because the car’s not inspected,” Xehanort gestured to the sticker, “nothing to worry about.” Sora glanced at it, and instantly relaxed. Xehanort, on the other hand, sent Ansem a death glare through the rearview mirror. Ansem glared back.

“Hello officer.” Ansem greeted the young man in front of him. The cop glanced in the back, then tapped the sticker, “Bud, your car hasn’t been inspected right-”

“I know, I know,” Ansem waved him off, “Two months late. Gonna get on it as soon as I can, sir.”

The officer lifted an eyebrow for a moment, then nodded. Ansem got ready to drive away, “Am I free to go, sir?”

The cop wrote out a small ticket, “In a moment.” He started walking for the back, “Lemme ask them something.”

Xehanort rolled down his window, “Can I help you?”

The cop gave him a mild glare, then said, “Are you two sure there’s nothing sketchy going on here?”

“No sir!” Sora instantly piped up.

Xehanort rolled his eyes, then said a little more calmly, “We’re taking a ride to my mother’s house. Nothing is going on here.”

Sora leaned over and held out his hand, “I’m Sora!” Xehanort looked like he was ready to slap Sora’s wings right off.

The officer laughed and shook Sora’s hand, “Name’s Terra.”

“Yes, now, officer Terra, can we please be on our way? Because if I recall unless you have a warrant you can’t search us.” Xehanort sighed. This was becoming a wreck.

“Can detain you, smart mouth.” Terra’s humor faded a bit.

“Am I being detained?” Xehanort asked slowly.

“No,” Terra said, “not yet.”

Xehanort asked, “What suspicion do you have?”

Terra jotted down a few things on a notepad, “Well for one the car’s past its inspection date and two, you two don’t look like very good people.” He added, “Sora seems like a nice one, but dunno what he’s-”

“We’re friends.” Sora said, once again maybe a little too fast.

“Appearances can deceive.” Xehanort reminded Terra.

Terra frowned, “You’re not wrong, but appearances can also be completely right-”

Xehanort pressed “send”.

Sora jumped as a gunshot ripped through the air. Xehanort and Ansem ducked. Terra grabbed the pistol at his side and took cover behind the taxicab, “Get down!” He looked for where the shot came from- it had hit the pavement only a few feet away from them, after all, so this person was out to kill one of them -and completely failed to notice Xehanort leaning forward and saying, “He’s got it, get us out of here.”

A few more bits of gunfire rang out, and Sora was panicking, “Xeha! Xeha what on earth is going on?!”

“Ansem-” Xehanort said before the driver snapped back:

“Look we can’t book it now I gotta wait until he moves-”

Xehanort didn’t hear the rest because Sora yanked him out of the taxi, scooped his arms around Xeha’s waist, and took to the sky.

“Sora that was completely under-” Xehanort noticed they were airborne, and he grabbed Sora’s jacket and started screaming, “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-”

“Xeha I’m getting you where you need to be.” Sora said, voice wavering a bit in fear but firm, “And that is outta that mess.”

 

“I need to be in that cab!” Xehanort snapped. He calmed his nerves enough to pull out his phone and send a few more texts:

[To: Door to Darkness]

[Friend panicked]  
[go through without me]  
[not that far]  
[tell MX I’m sorry]

[Door to Darkness: What the fuck was that?!]

[long story {unsent}]

Sora hit a particularly violent bit of turbulence and Xehanort dropped his phone. Away it went to the city below to get smashed into a bunch of tiny pieces. Xehanort grabbed Sora’s arms, his own legs flailing. “PUT ME DOWN!”

“No.” Sora said. He then tossed Xeha up a bit- the young man screaming some more -and ended up carrying him bridal style. “Better?” Sora asked.

“NO!” Xehanort yelled, “GROUND! DOWN! THAT IS BETTER!” He pointed to emphasize as Sora began climbing upwards, “DOWN YOU IMBECILE! DO YOU HAVE A BIRD’S BRAIN AS WELL?!”

“No!” Sora snapped at him. He sighed and shook his head, “Dude I am saving you life-”

“I AM HUNDREDS OF FEET ABOVE THE DAMNED CITY!” Xehanort screamed back.

Sora pushed through the clouds as Xehanort continued chewing him out. He didn’t have a single response, apparently. Xehanort continued clinging to Sora and screaming his throat hoarse. He loathed heights. Ever since his father convinced him that the fair that had rolled in had a “completely safe” rollercoaster.

“Hey, you know, you should really open your eyes.”

Sora’s voice was remarkably soothing. Just a gentle nudge. “W-why should I?!” Xehanort cried.

Sora’s grip became a little more like a hug, “It’s nice.” Xehanort opened his eyes and saw his hands ghost-white against Sora’s aviator jacket. “Other way.” Sora continued gently prodding. Xehanort turned his head reluctantly, and then suddenly his fear dropped away.

It was gorgeous. The golds a-and the pinks! The sun looked like a brilliant gem that had no flaw as it set among the clouds. The sky was so many shades of lavender and blue. Xehanort reached out to touch a cloud, and it was cold enough for him to get back to clinging for dear life but the mist was so soft to his touch. His own breath turned into pearlescent baby clouds that hovered for a moment before seeking their fortune in larger kin.

“Where I hang around... Kinda like this.” Sora chuckled, “Except there’s more color, and it’s the perfect temperature, and there’s everyone and anyone you’d wanna meet, and there’s whatever music you want playing and it’s sweeter than anything else down here.”

“But this...” Xehanort mumbled, “This is so...” He felt himself relaxing, and oddly at peace as his heart settled in time with Sora’s wingbeats, “Perfect...” Xehanort felt Sora lean his head against his. The chilly air didn’t seem to bother him that much any more.

“S-sorry,” the angel mumbled in reply, “this is kinda tiring.” Xehanort saw Sora’s wings: they glinted like gold in the sunlight, except gold didn’t have a rainbow within it.

He could barely stand when Sora swooped back down onto his apartment building and set him down. And suddenly it was really, really warm instead of the balmy, tolerable temperature of only a few hours ago. He wobbled, then tried heading downstairs. His grandfather was going to be livid-

“Xeha!”

Xehanort paused in the doorway as Sora hopped off the roof’s edge and ran over. His wings dragged carelessly behind him, almost like some kind of processional cape, “Xeha...” He had to bend over a moment to catch his breath. He then stood up and smiled, “You know, you gotta work on getting out of all that.”

Xehanort looked at his hand on the doorframe, “M-my grand-”

“He’s a lost cause, Xeha.” Sora insisted, “You’re not. You got a future. A good one, one where you can see that and more every day.”

“Sora-”

Suddenly, Xehanort was dragged into a gigantic hug. Arms, wings, tight and warm. Sora was short enough to rest his face in Xehanort’s chest, and his jacket was big enough for the two of them to share.

“I’m worried about you, okay?” Sora whispered.

Xehanort was busy looking at the fact Sora’s wings were large enough to encompass them both in a halo of light and feathers. He felt... safe. Loved. Reassured. Feelings that normally never arrived in his empty heart. He caught Sora’s voice- quiet, wavering -and gulped nervously.

Sora then backed away, practically hopping or skipping back to the edge. He put one foot in the air, grinning at Xehanort sideways as he began leaning out, “You just gotta be good, okay?”

Sora dropped. There was a loud, thick snap, and a blur passed by. Another feather was left behind, and Xehanort grabbed it to add to his collection. When something square in his pocket brushed against him, Xehanort noticed he still had his cigarettes.

He quietly threw away the pack.

...

[To: Gabe]

[dude]  
[dude this Xehanort guy]

[Gabe: Sora that old soul is a lost cause.]

[no no no]  
[the little one]  
[you assigned me to him awhile ago remember?]

[Gabe: Sora I have way too many things on my plate to remember these things.]

[but you know]  
[aren’t you an archangel?]

[Gabe: Even I have my limits.]

[Gabe you should know]  
[don’t we all know everyone?]

[Gabe: You should know that we do know many things Humans don’t.]  
[Gabe: But that doesn’t mean we can know each and every one of them in high detail whenever we wish.]

[but man Gabe]  
[I hope he turns out ok]

[Gabe: ...]  
[Gabe: Grandson of the other Xehanort, right?]

[yeah]

[Gabe: ...]  
[Gabe: ...]

[Gabe quit that]  
[you KNOW I hate the “...”]  
[I hate it when it comes from you]

[Gabe: Sora, it sounds like you need some lectures on love if you’re using such a strong word.]  
[Gabe: Do I need to pull you back?]

[NO NO NO NO NO PLEASE DON’T I ALMOST GOT HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

[Gabe: Sora YOU know I hate excessive “!”]  
[Gabe: My particulars aside,]  
[Gabe: that was awfully odd, even for you.]

[Please I SWEAR I can change him.]  
[He’s getting there Gabe.]  
[I can feel it.]

[Gabe: Okay then, if you feel that way.]  
[Gabe: I wasn’t going to take you off duty for him yet.]  
[Gabe: So have him for a little while longer.]

Sora quietly put his cellphone away. He sighed. He fluffed his jacket, his wings. Why was he so scared to leave Xehanort? Was it a fear of a bad job? Sora pulled his cellphone back out and began searching for answers, calmly bouncing back off another building and swooping back through the sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the text message stuff is readable lol this is my first time implementing something like it. Bonus points to anyone who gets who's who with the names and/or why certain names are there.
> 
> BUT ANYWAYS special shout out to Gigi who MADE FANART: http://hellsmonkey.tumblr.com/post/122607717464/well-its-not-often-i-read-a-fic-that-manages-to and possibly (I'm only 80% sure of this) left what is right now the only comment on this whole thing. So yeah very special thanks to her.
> 
> Very special thanks to anyone who reads this tbh you're all great.


	5. High

Xehanort sighed. He shuffled his resumes and applications together, wondering just how long it took for someone to get an actual job. He finally understood the pain of the average person, he supposed. He was now reluctantly letting calls about “family business” go to voicemail. His father stopped by once to ask him if he was okay, but Xehanort quietly reassured Xemnas he was “hanging low” so “the cops wouldn’t get him”.

And by that he meant “was trying to be a better person because Sora was trying so hard”.

Sora was trying really hard.

He was visiting twice a week now.

Once he even brought flowers. Lilies, pure white with a fragrance that certainly wasn’t lilies. They didn’t wilt until a long time had passed and ended up observing a lot of quiet talks over coffee, silly board games with stupid rules added to make things ridiculous, planning for futures and other things.

Xehanort was even starting to like heights. He enjoyed sitting in Sora’s arms up in the clouds. He’d insist that he wasn’t persuaded enough to do good things and Sora would drag him up to watch the sunset. “It’s yours, you just gotta keep it up.” He’d always whisper.

And then he’d lean his head against Xehanort’s.

And then there was those times their hands touched and they both pulled back like lighting had pushed their fingers apart.

And even then there was those hugs. Goodbye hugs. Sora insisted. Arms, wings, tight and warm.

“So, Sora...” Xehanort asked one day, rubbing feathers between his fingers, “How... How long do you live?”

“Forever.” He answered.

Xehanort hesitated, watching the shine of Sora’s wing a moment, then said, “When I die... Will I see you again?”

Sora hesitated himself. He then pulled his wings back in, “Ah, well...” He fluffed his jacket, “I dunno. Angels and souls tend to stay separate. There’s a place for normal, mortal souls where they can just... I dunno chill and enjoy their eternal rest, but man with me...” He laughed, “Kinda got red tape there too, ya know? Celestial bureaucracy. I gotta make reports to certain people and make sure I got my own little ducks in a row and I gotta check in with the big guy and...” His wings retreated completely, “It’s... Busy.” He looked at the couch’s arm, “I don’t know if I’d ever see you again after this.”

Xehanort felt his heart sink. “Stay with me. Y-you’re my guardian angel aren’t you-”

“Temp work.” Sora stood and brushed off his jacket. “When you’re a better person, I’m gone.”

Xehanort stood right after him, “Look, Sora, what if I...” He sat back down, “Never mind.”

They let the silence surround them. Eclipse them. Nothing to say, they felt, but there was a lot more than that.

Xehanort quietly asked a question that had bothered him for a long time, “Sora... Are... Is it wrong for me to...” Sora’s eyes widened, and his shoulders tensed. His wings were appearing again, a blurry halo right behind him and making his jacket some deformed lump. He sadly relaxed when Xehanort finished, “Is it wrong for me to love someone of the same sex?”

Sora didn’t know why he hoped Xehanort would say his name. He couldn’t explain the dejection. His wings vanished. “Nah, you’re good.” He whispered. “Love takes a lot of forms.”

Xehanort let out a weary sigh.

Sora grinned, “Who’s the lucky guy?”

Xehanort didn’t say anything.

Sora began leaving, “Okay then. You’re getting better, Xeha. Hope you’re happy.”

He leaned out, over, and was gone.

“It’s you...” Xehanort said, far too soft for anyone.

...

A few weeks later, Sora fussed with his jacket. His phone buzzed in his pocket, and at the rate it was going he could imagine what Gabe was telling him.

“NO.”

“NO.”

“A HUNDRED TIMES, CHILD, NO.”

Sora looked at the view of Twilight Town from the clock tower. He then leaned off and went back into flight. He swooped. Rolled. He needed to clear his head. He pulled out his phone and read over the messages. Just as he thought. Mostly advice to stay away and let the crush subside.

He alighted on Xeha’s balcony. He tapped his shoes. The room wasn’t lit. Sora felt terrible, but he hadn’t stopped by this whole time. Xeha deserved better. He bit his lips and tried to knock, but he couldn’t. He took a deep breath. Gabe was going crazy, and eventually Sora put the phone on mute.

“Xeha?” The door rolled aside easily. “Xehanort, I-I’m sorry I, uh...” _was completely crushed you loved someone besides me_ , “had... Angel things to do...”

The lights flew on, and Sora was temporarily blinded. When he blinked that away, he had to blink even more. Xehanort. With coffee just how they liked it. A cake on the coffee table. The lilies were still there, and only barely wilting.

And there, in the icing...

Sora squinted in disbelief.

“I love you, Sora.”

Sora’s wings flew out so fast several bits of Xehanort’s apartment went flying.

...

[To: Gabe]

[Gabe: Sora?]  
[Gabe: Sora, you know this isn’t how it works.]  
[Gabe: This is never how it works.]  
[Gabe: I am all for love, but this is extreme.]  
[Gabe: You were always a special one, but please this is unorthodox.]

Sora didn’t catch the messages, or the phone vibrating on the dresser. He was too busy giggling, tangled up with Xehanort. His wings were constantly shifting around, trying to find a comfortable spot around the two of them. They eventually settled into a place where Sora felt like the world was just him and Xehanort, and nothing else seemed to matter.

[To: Gabe]

[Gabe: Sora, this is urgent.]  
[Gabe: You have a duty, Sora.]  
[Gabe: Do you understand that?]  
[Gabe: This is not it.]

Sora managed a quick peck on Xehanort’s cheek. In the middle of the park. In broad daylight. It felt scandalous, but Xehanort quietly returning it left Sora burning. The slurpee between them cooled things down enough.

[To: Gabe]

[Gabe: Sora, PLEASE.]  
[Gabe: This has gone on long enough.]  
[Gabe: Xehanort is redeemed enough to stand on his own and get the rest of it done.]

Xehanort brushed Sora’s wings, but then Sora whispered, “Other way, against the feathers.” Xehanort did as Sora asked, and his face melted into bliss, “Ohhh... Just like that.” He grabbed Xehanort and pulled him down into a kiss, “Mmmm...”

[To: Gabe]

[Gabe: SORA HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN WHO YOU ARE? WHAT YOU ARE?]  
[Gabe: I’m giving you a week.]  
[Gabe: Either you’re gone or he is.]

Sora sat on the edge of Xehanort’s bed. He read over Gabe’s texts, and his sleepy expression became more and more concerned. His wings silently tucked themselves away, and vanished. He looked at Xehanort over his shoulder. The young man was still asleep, hair carelessly streaked over his face while a bit of drool snuck between the corners of his lips. Sora pressed a quick kiss to Xehanort’s forehead, then got up.

He paced.

Looked at his phone.

[Gabe: Either you’re gone or he is.]

Sora put it firmly on the dresser with a loud tap.

Xehanort snorted from the bedroom, and mumbled something.

Sora rushed back in. After a moment where he was sure Xeha was still asleep, he walked back to where he was and continued pacing. He began praying.

A buzz. New text. Sora angrily snatched the piece of plastic, metal, and digital data.

[To: Gabe]

[Gabe: You know there is a way to stay with him.]  
[Gabe: He doesn’t have to die.]  
[Gabe: No one does.]

Sora threw the phone away. It shattered on the tile of Xehanort’s kitchen. He grabbed at his face, and then lurched for the sink and splashed cold water in it. He needed to calm down. He was going to be fine. He had a week, after all.

Sora finally sobbed a little. Why did this happen? Why did he tumble so head over heels, like a wave had come and turned every sense around? It was stupid, and now in a week Xeha was going to be gone. Unless he did something. He could definitely do something. It was extreme, and a last resort he couldn’t undo, but he could do something. He could keep Xeha.

“Sora...?” Xehanort sleepily called, “I-I heard something breaking...”

“Got mad at my phone.” Sora replied, “You can sleep.”

Xehanort shuffled over, “You okay...?”

Sora, bent over the sink, closed his eyes and smiled. “Everything’s gonna be great.” He began walking out, “Look, I... I got a meeting to go to. Higher-ups want me around for a week, sheesh.”

Xehanort watched Sora put his clothes on with mild, bleary interest, “Hmm? A week?”

“Equivalent of a few hour meeting for you.” Sora curtly explained. He rushed over and kissed him, “Look, I’ll be back in a week, okay?”

Sora was out the sliding door and on the balcony, and then off of it, and then gone, all before Xehanort could finish saying, “Okay, Sora.”

Xehanort sat there a moment, then shuffled back into bed and went to sleep.

Sora went right on thinking about his options, hoping the cold air and some higher advice would get him straight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EYYYY THEY'RE ACTUALLY A THING NOW H A H A.
> 
> but what is Sora thinking of though?


	6. Low

Xehanort stared at his phone. He was nice to himself and got a better one, so it was a touchscreen, relatively thin, and even with a better camera he had filled with photos of him and Sora. He could see his uncertain reflection in it. 

A number was dialed, already punched in, but the call itself? It was going to take a lot of courage for this. He was kinda glad Sora wasn’t back yet. He wished he could be here, wrapping his arms and wings around him in full support or saying “You’re being so brave Xeha, so brave,” but it was for the better if he wasn’t. Better for Sora if he only was told about this conversation.

Xehanort took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and pressed “dial”.

“... Grandfather? Yes, yes it’s me... Yes, yes, I know I’ve been missing your calls... I’ve been busy... Getting a real job, grandfather... Yes, that’s exactly why I’m calling.”

Xehanort felt his hand trembling. The silence was choking him, but there was no going back now.

“Grandfather I’m leaving.”

Xehanort closed his eyes, waiting, waiting.

“Excuse me?”

“I’m leaving.” Xehanort said again, trying to be firmer but his voice raising in pitch slightly.

“Leaving what?”

“You. The ‘Family Business’.”

“You know the rules,” Master Xehanort warned, “you should know them better than anyone else, junior-”

“I’m leaving.” Xehanort said again. Already he was a broken record.

“Why? What would be worth breaking the rules-”

“I-I found a... A nice... girl to settle down with.”

Master Xehanort was quiet on his end.

“Grandfather, I...” Xeha gulped, “Look, I don’t want... her in all this. This is too much for her-”

“Pretty lady, huh?”

Xeha sighed, “Grandfather...”

“I don’t see why she wouldn’t love getting involved. If she loves you she’ll come along. Maybe she can bring something to the business-”

“GRANDFATHER!” Xehanort was ready to break the phone. He knew Sora wasn’t a woman but the very idea of how he would be treated if he was burned a pit in his stomach. No one would ever treat Sora like that.

“Well I don’t see your problem. A nice girl with you, offered our protection-”

“Grandfather-”

“Your father enjoys it-”

“Xemnas always has-”

“So did you-”

“Well, people change-”

“Xemnas didn’t-”

“What if I did-”

“Junior, you shouldn’t change-”

Xehanort lost his patience, “GRANDFATHER I HAVE OBEDIENTLY LISTENED TO YOU A THOUSAND TIMES OVER AND HAVE EVEN HAD TO BAIL YOU OUT! NOW WILL _YOU_ LISTEN TO _ME_ FOR ONCE?!”

Xehanort felt less scared now. More this uncertain and dangerous mix of pissed off and nervous.

He took another deep breath and used his platform while he had it, “Grandfather, I don’t want her involved. I don’t want her in this. It’s dangerous, she could die, she could get hurt. We both feel I could be a better person-”

“Too late for that, junior.” Master Xehanort spoke, “You’re already pretty rotten-”

“I have time to change. I’m getting a real job, an honest job, and I’m going to settle down with h-”

“Junior,” Master Xehanort sighed, “you’re not leaving. No one just leaves. You know the rules, I raised you right-”

“You BARELY raised me-”

“As it should be!” Xehanort flinched when his grandfather raised his voice. The old man continued, “I taught you how to stand on your own two legs, stand alone-”

“I DON’T WANT TO STAND ALONE ANYMORE I WANT TO STAND WITH SORA!”

Xehanort froze after his angry outburst. He closed his eyes and silently swore. Now his grandfather knew Sora’s name. Names were powerful. Names were how you found people. That and in this town there wasn’t many women named “Sora”.

“... Real tomboy, huh?”

Xehanort fussed with his free hand. He brushed the lilies, which were finally going brown. Poor things.

“Junior.”

“N-not really...” Xehanort said, “I-I mean he’s awfully in tune with emotion-”

Xehanort froze again. He slipped up. He slipped up hard.

“Come again?”

“S-she’s awfully in tune-”

“Did you get one of those fucking traps?” 

Xehanort flinched. “No.”

“I’m pretty sure you said ‘he’ there, junior-”

“Look, grandfather-”

“I can’t believe-”

“Grandfather-”

“You little-”

“Grandfather-!”

“I thought I taught you better than this-”

“Please-”

“I THOUGHT YOU KNEW BETTER THAN TO HANG AROUND THOSE FAGGOTS!”

Xehanort grew mute as his grandfather screamed on the phone. Words slipped around his head, either going in one ear and out the other or lingering, echoing, and leaving scars. A whole rant was tossed at Xehanort, how he was going to hell, how this was a disgrace, how he should’ve known better. Xehanort’s hand absently pulled out a lily. He set the phone down, put it on speaker, and then quietly began ripping up the flower. Tears threatened to fall for a good majority of the “talk” before they finally just rolled over.

“... I can’t believe you’ve been beguiled like this you sinner-”

“Shut up.” Xehanort finally croaked, “Just shut up.” He closed his eyes a moment to compose himself. He could feel Sora sitting right next to him, whispering, stroking his back.

“You’re a piece of shit-”

“You know what?! FUCK YOU.” Xehanort yelled. He picked up the phone, holding it in his hand with the other clutched at his mangled lily, “Fuck you. I am LEAVING and I am NEVER coming back! I’m going to stay with Sora somewhere you can’t find us, forget this ever happened, and I’m going to be a better person than you ever were!”

He finished with a strangled hiss, “And you know what?” Never mind he still had one more howl within him, “I’LL BE MILES HAPPIER THAN YOUR DAMN BUSINESS WOULD EVER MAKE ME!”

Xehanort hung up. He sighed. That felt... good. He felt free. Sora was right what you liked and what you knew were very different things. Xehanort put the phone down and turned it off, then threw away his lily and began packing. He pulled out boxes and began shoving clothes and things in them without any organization. Just get it packed.

Sora would be back tomorrow. They could leave then, since it wasn’t like Sora had anything and Xehanort didn’t feel like packing all he had. Starting over was just what he wanted. A clean slate. A clean slate with his literal angel.

He stopped packing a while after midnight and fell asleep on the couch waiting for Sora.

...

Master Xehanort looked at the phone in his hand. He frowned.

“I expected so much better of him.”

He gestured to a man in the corner, “Tail him. Report to me. You know what to do if I don’t like what I hear.”

The man left.

...

A gentle knock woke Xehanort up. He rolled off the couch in a panic, stumbling around and trying to figure out who it was. Was it one of his grandfather’s goons? Or just some delivery- no wait that could have a bomb in it oh god-

“Xeha...”

Sora.

Thank.

God.

Xehanort ran to the door, and quickly checked the peephole. Yep. Sora. He had an awfully large box in his arms, and his jacket seemed baggier than usual, and his eyes were bright as sunlight, but it was Sora.

Xehanort opened the door and ushered him in, “Sora, why didn’t you use the balcony?” Sora walked in quietly. He stopped after a few steps. He wobbled a little, maybe limped. Xehanort looked at the package, “C-can you handle that?” What was it anyways? It was huge. Slightly bigger than Sora. Sora wordlessly handed it to Xehanort with a smile. Xehanort read the words on the box: “For you.”

Xehanort accepted it, “This is a lovely gift, but... W-where am I going to-”

He stopped.

He’d only undone the top but... He glanced at the angel feathers he already had, then back into the box. He pulled at the wing inside, “L-lovely replica...” Perfect replica. Too perfect.

He looked at Sora. Sora grinned ever wider, tears coming to his eyes. “I-I can stay with you...”

Xehanort knew he should have felt happy, but...

Sora took off his jacket, then his shirt. Xehanort grew nauseous at the red stain on the back of it, and even more at the bandages wrapped around Sora’s chest that had red creeping around his sides. Sora collapsed forward, knees giving out, and Xehanort ungracefully caught him while dropping the wings. Rather painfully on his foot, but there was bigger issues.

“I’m staying with you!” Sora sobbed into Xehanort’s shoulder. He kept sobbing it, joyful but strangled with agony. His hands dug into Xehanort’s shoulder like knives, “I’m staying with you!”

Xehanort held Sora back, delicately. Enough to support him, but not really. He whispered, “Sora... W-what did they-”

“I did it.” Sora murmured, as if his voice had finally given out, “I did it because I don’t want to live forever I want to live with you.”

Xehanort felt the bandages soaked with blood. It was getting on his hands. “Sora I... I’m so sorry-”

“Don’t be...” Sora whispered, “Don’t be we can be happy together-”

“Your wings-”

“I don’t need them.”

That didn’t make Xehanort feel any better. He guided Sora to the couch, “Sora... Sora we need to get you medical attention-”

“I’m fine...” Sora was a marvelous liar and if Xehanort closed his eyes maybe he would be convinced but not while he was staring at the crimson mess that was Sora’s back. He began undoing the bandages, “These need to be replaced-”

Sora suddenly screamed. He grabbed one of the couch’s pillows and let it suck the cry away into a whimper. Xehanort brushed his back. Sora moaned in pain. Xehanort gently touched Sora’s shoulder, “Is that all where it hurts?”

Sora made another muffled noise, then a hand shot out and gestured to his whole back.

“Back?” Xehanort asked.

Sora nodded.

“We still need to change these out, ok?”

Sora lifted his head from the pillow and nodded, “Y-yeah... Okay. I trust you.”

It took roughly a half hour to get the first aid kit out and Sora’s bandages changed. Xehanort took special care around the uneven lumps on Sora’s back, he took special care everywhere, but Sora was a wreck the whole time. “I’m fine.” He sobbed. “Just a paper cut.” He wept. His fists were ghost-white and tangled in the sheets. He moaned, writhed. Couldn’t even walk anymore, as Sora explained that he almost passed out on the way back.

But soon enough Sora was on their bed on his stomach, and Xehanort was sitting right next to him and holding his hand. Sora looked tired, and half dead. He couldn’t even get a blanket on his back without wincing.

Xehanort gently kissed Sora’s hand, “I am sorry-”

Sora shook his head with a tired smile, “Not your fault.”

But it was his fault. He had to be a terrible enough person to merit this angel coming down, and then had to have... have something to make him fall in love enough to cut off his own wings. Xehanort felt terrible. It was all his fault. This apartment wasn’t going to be safe for long and it was because he made assumptions. Sora was in pain and in danger he couldn’t get out of.

Sora’s hand brushed his cheek, “Dry those eyes... I’ll be fine. I’m with you.”

Xehanort brushed aside Sora’s hair and kissed him, “Get your rest.”

Sora’s eyes drooped, closed, and he was out in a heartbeat.

Xehanort bawled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm evil.


	7. A Long Road to Recovery

Xehanort decided not to tell Sora about the fallout between him and his grandfather. The poor boy had enough to worry about and was in enough pain. He didn’t need to start thinking he was a burden. Xehanort knew he would never forgive or forget if Sora took a complete nosedive in every aspect of his health. Besides, if they played thing safe, they could ride things out.

“Hey, sunshine...” Xehanort whispered as Sora woke up. He smiled, and tried to get up. Presumably it was to hug Xehanort, but instead it became a screaming contest: how loud could he yell into the pillows without freaking out the neighbors?

Xehanort rubbed Sora’s head until the scream dwindled into racking sobs. He leaned over and quietly kissed Sora’s cheek and held his hand. Sora’s grip was tight enough to crush bone. “I’m sorry...” He murmured into Sora’s ear once more.

Sora shook his head. He turned it away from the pillows and returned Xehanort’s kiss, “I-I’m... fine... I’m fine...” Xehanort felt tears on Sora’s cheeks. When Sora backed away, Xehanort drank in the circles under his eyes, the dimness in his gaze, the tremble in his smile.

“You sure?” Xehanort asked softly.

Sora nodded, “Sure.” He then giggled, “What’s up with sunshine?”

Xehanort smiled, “You. You’re my sunshine.”

Sora laughed. It was a tired one, but relieved. Xehanort got up, “H-here I need to make you breakfast.” He lingered on Sora’s hand as long as he could, and even then he backed up into the kitchen without looking, making sure Sora could see him and he could see Sora. Sora made an attempt to move, and Xehanort sternly called back, “Sora, you’re in no fit shape to-”

“AAggghhhhhhhhhhhhjlsfj...” Sora groaned. He then explained himself, “I-I wanted... I wanted to sit up...”

Xehanort sighed and made a quick bowl of cereal to bring back. He sat down on the ground next to the bed and scooped up the first mouthful, “Sora, you said so yourself yesterday you could barely walk-”

“Well, Xehanort,” Sora paused to munch on milk and cheerios, “I’m not used to still being hurt.” He shrugged with a deep wince, “Normally I’m better by now. Unless it was something a little more supernatural that hurt me.”

“My apologies...” Xehanort got another spoonful of cereal ready. While Sora leaned over and ate it, he murmured it again, “My sincerest apologies...”

“Not your fault.” Sora said through an army of grain and dairy. He swallowed, then reached over and held Xehanort’s hand, “I chose this.”

Xehanort set aside Sora’s breakfast and repeated the gesture, “Sora-”

“I had no choice-”

Xehanort shook his head, “You could have kept your wings-”

“Gabe said it was either you or me, Xeha.” Sora firmly told Xehanort. The mirth was gone in his expression, “Either I left them or you.”

“Gabe?” Xehanort scooted closer, his brow furrowing, “W-who on earth is Gabe?”

Sora chuckled, “My higher up...” He sighed, “He kinda breathed down my neck a bit. Dunno if I’ll miss him that much-”

Xehanort was stuck on the name, “Are you kidding me? Your boss was an angel named Gabe-”

“Riel...” Sora finished. After an awkward pause he elaborated, “You know... the archangel Gabriel? I called him Gabe because it was easier to text.” Sora wearily grinned, “He put up with it because to forgive is divine, you know?” Xehanort’s expression didn’t lighten, but a moment later he grinned and giggled. Sora laughed back. 

He then pulled Xehanort into a pseudo-hug, “Look, if I didn’t want to stay with you, I would’ve shown up yesterday, said goodbye, and left.” Xehanort gently held Sora back. When they backed away, Sora grabbed Xehanort’s hand, “What do you want from me? Anything, anything at all and I’ll try-”

“Hold up, dearest.” Xehanort chuckled. He pressed a kiss to Sora’s forehead, “Right now I want you to rest.”

“Naps are good.” Sora replied.

“Are you well? No pain?” Xehanort asked.

Sora wiggled his head a little, “Ah... kinda sore... A dull kind of sore, no biggie. It only really hurts when someone touches or I move too much or too fast-” Xehanort kissed Sora. Sora laughed, “Didn’t hurt then...”

“A few more things...” Xehanort wrapped his hands around Sora’s with a gentle smile, “Listen to me, because I have a few rules if you’re going to be living here:”

Sora lifted his head, attentive and interest piqued.

“Keep the door locked. I have the key, and eventually I will get one for you.”

“Okay.”

“Don’t answer, even if you think it is me. I’ll let myself in.”

“Got it.”

“Stay silent. I don’t want people thinking you’re here in such a vulnerable state.”

“Of course.”

“When you start walking again-”

“If I start, Xeha-”

“You will, in time. I swear it. Now, when you start walking again, check the peephole before opening the door.”

“Well duh.”

“Most of all,” Xehanort paused to give Sora one more kiss, “don’t push yourself. Let your back heal.”

Sora grinned, “As per doc’s orders.”

Xehanort smiled back. He then stood, “I have a few job interviews to do this week, and I am still job hunting, alright? And when I do have a job I won’t be able to spend as much time as I want with you-”

“It’s fine. Keeps us here and happy.” Sora patted Xehanort’s hand.

Xehanort flinched. He then sighed, “I’ll find a caretaker for you we can trust. Eventually. Get your rest, my sunshine, my sky, my Sora.”

“Sappy much?” Sora asked, but soon enough he was asleep again.

Xehanort kept holding Sora’s hand. In his. A pair only a few hours ago soaked in his blood. Even if asleep he looked at peace, Sora’s skin was still quite ashy. His actions had become tired and sluggish. Xehanort looked at Sora and felt his pulse. Still alive, but honestly every second felt like Sora was dying. It could’ve been the divine part of Sora wasting away, but something was dying in Sora nonetheless.

He was the one who did it.

A few tears rolled over, “Please forgive me.”

...

Sora woke up the next morning to a stack of peanut butter sandwiches and a note on the dresser:

“Sora, 

You weren’t awake when I left for my interview, so I accommodated for you the best I could. Remember the rules, they’re for your safety. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, since I’m going to also make a grocery run. 

PLEASE be careful, don’t strain yourself. Be sensible.

-Xehanort”

Sora fluttered his lips. He snuggled back into his pillow and set the letter down. Then he picked it up again and stroked the handwriting. He imagined Xehanort writing this right next to him while he was asleep, occasionally glancing over or checking to make sure Sora was still breathing or still okay. Sora smiled, and grabbed a sandwich.

Something thumped outside, and he dropped it. That was from the balcony. Gabe? Or one of the goons Xehanort knew? Sora hoped it wasn’t the latter or there was going to be a lot of yelling later if that was the case. Laying there helpless or no Sora was going to chew Xehanort out if he was still-

“Oh, God...”

Sora blinked. That voice was female. Quiet. Stunned. He turned his head, then turned it right back around. He knew the red-haired girl staring in horror at his back. He knew her maybe a little too well, “Hi... Kairi.”

Kairi walked forward, fingering her necklace of pale pink cowries with a star pendant made from small angel wing shells. She couldn’t stop staring at Sora’s back. He actually did it. “G-Gabe... Gabriel was freaking out this morning.” She whispered.

“Glad to hear he cares.” Sora muttered. “Would’ve done a lot of good earlier.”

“Sora,” Kairi moved around to sit on the bed next to him, “you know Gabriel cares.” She held out her hand, hovering above Sora’s back. “M-may I touch?”

“It hurts a lot if you d-” Sora stopped. Kairi’s touch felt like an ocean breeze. Gentle and cool and reliving.

“Not if you’re like... me.” Kairi was used to saying “us”. Sora put his head in his pillow with a sigh. For once he felt exactly how he used to. Completely fine, no ache, no pain, no anguish. Kairi crooned, “I’m used to seeing people in pain. Sick, sad, I know what to do.”

“Yeah... Forgot.” Sora murmured. “Thank you.”

Kairi continued rubbing Sora’s back. She was relieved herself to see Sora’s pain eased. She asked him, “You really do love him, don’t you?”

“A lot.” Sora replied. He looked back at her with a wince, “So, Kairi... Can I ask you a favor?”

“Anything.” Kairi said, “I’ll try, if you really love him that much.”

“Can you keep us safe?” Sora asked. He watched her face flicker in shock for a moment, then she quietly removed her necklace and handed it to him.

While Sora thumbed the shells, she explained, “Make me a shrine. Something to get in touch with me when you need me, okay? This’ll do for now, and when you’re both on the road.” She summoned her wings with a sigh- bright scarlet like her hair with blue and yellow tips. Shortly after she plucked one feather of each color, “These are for letting me know what’s up in general. Keep blue out if things are fine, yellow if you’re worried, and red is an absolute emergency. The moment the red one’s out I’m on my way, so don’t leave it out unless it’s absolutely necessary, okay?”

Sora flipped the feathers around, and nodded, “Yeah, sure. Will do.” He looked at the dresser, “W-where do I put them-”

“Keep them in the dresser for now, leave one out on top. When you make the shrine put it in that.” Kairi said. She bent over and kissed Sora’s head, “Lemme know if there’s any trouble. Any at all. I’m...” She backed away with a hesitant frown, “Worried.”

“We’ll be fine with you on our side, Kairi.” Sora assured her, “You’re amazing.”

Kairi smiled, “Don’t forget it!”

He watched her go. He thumbed the seashells some more. They were polished smooth, and Sora could see a vague sheen that must’ve been the mother-of-pearl. He kissed them before setting them down, “You’re great, Kairi.”

...

Kairi was a literal godsend. Xehanort felt extremely relieved to leave Sora in her care, and at their humble request she showed up once a day. Xehanort and Sora made a little shrine together, hiring a local artist for a rendition of their friend in a higher place. The blue feather sat proudly in a repurposed incense holder, and the necklace was constantly wrapped around either a candle or the shrine itself.

Xehanort got himself a decent job as a secretary for some business that neither of them cared about much that was as distant from his grandfather’s crowd as he could get. Money was money, and while it was a boring, menial job it was better than what he was used to doing. It was relatively easy, anyways, and paid pretty well.

True to Xehanort’s word, Sora was hobbling along after two weeks. He needed someone’s help or needed to lean on furniture and it still hurt immensely, but he was on his feet again. His back was in less pain these days. There was a night of celebration for both of them, and Kairi was cordially invited. While she didn’t attend the quiet, private party, she was a presence that was certainly felt.

Sora was sitting on the couch when Xehanort came in one night grinning ear-to-ear. He seemed to hastily hide something behind the coat-hanger.

“What’s up?” Sora asked.

Xehanort knelt for a moment, “I got you something. Something just for you.” It was a rare moment when Xehanort sounded so giddy.

Sora laughed, “What?”

“Close your eyes.” Xehanort stood and rushed back to his little hiding spot.

Sora chuckled and closed his eyes, thinking about the day. Anniversary? No, not yet. Birthday? Sora honestly didn’t remember what his birthday was he’d lived so long. He couldn’t place anything that merited a present.

“Open them.”

Sora looked, and gasped. In Xehanort’s hand was a walking stick. A deep cherry colored wood with silver on the bottom and the top, the latter carved to resemble wings. “I got silver because....well, you know, if there are angels maybe there are vampires and werewolves and ghosts too...” Xehanort awkwardly laughed. Sora took the walking stick, rolling it in his hands. There, in the middle, carved:

“These are your new wings.”

Sora’s hands shook. Xehanort quietly held them and the new walking stick steady, “My dear I am sorry that you lost the last pair, but I will try-” He didn’t finish before Sora hugged him. Constricted him was a more apt description.

“Thank you...!” Sora sobbed, “Thank you...!”

Xehanort hugged him back. “Anything for you, my angel.”

Sora stood, leaning on his stick proudly, “I’ll use it every day. Every day! A-and we can go to the park now, can’t we?! W-we can get those slurpees again! The sea salt ones that are really good!”

Xehanort hadn’t seen Sora this happy and like his old self in ages. He smiled, a small, hopeful smile that things were turning out okay.

“Of course we can.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Figured after that mess I'd give everyone a break ha ha. Apparently some of you thought Sora was dead NAHHH he's fine. He's in a lot of pain but he's good.
> 
> Though just FYI reviews are very much appreciated. They're worth like 5 kudos.


	8. Old Friends

Xehanort fussed with his keys. It was late, a long day at work, and more than anything he just wanted to be home and with Sora. It was game night, after all. Sorry! this time, unlike Monopoly last week that drove Xehanort to flipping over the game board as Sora proceeded to get houses on every single property imaginable. Xehanort stepped up his pace, bouncing along the sidewalk. 

He was lucky his job was within walking distance. Less time to use the car, less time for _them_ to find out he had switched the license plate to an endearingly ironic “HELLBOY”. That and there was a nagging guilt in the back of his head that urged him to use his legs while Sora couldn’t really use his own. Sora could walk awhile on his own- the fifteen minute route to the corner pharmacy and back, but that was it before he needed assistance. Walking was better anyways for Xehanort’s wallet and his health. The car was used more often for rides that Sora needed.

Xehanort made a mental note for the millionth time that Sora would need a license of his own. And a birth date. And an identity. He sighed, began practically running, and jingled his keys some more to relieve stress. He was a nervous wreck and that’s exactly why he needed to get home tonight. He was not going to break his streak of making three days through with only one nicotine patch.

Sora was probably setting up the Sorry! board as he walked. He smiled at that thought, and wondered about what new rule Sora would think of adding. Maybe getting a 6 would send two pawns three spaces backwards each? No, no, that was silly. How about seven switched places with an opponent? Maybe Kairi would show up and join in with a bemused smile. Xehanort hadn’t seen much of her, but from what he could tell she was a very pretty and gentle young miss-

“Oh, Xehanort...”

Every single one of Xehanort’s happy thoughts vanished. He knew that voice. His legs kept moving forward, almost stumbling to get even faster. He acted like he hadn’t heard anything but if that was who he thought it was-

“Oh come now, no way to greet an old friend.”

“Did someone say something?” Xehanort asked. He kept walking, going past the apartment. Couldn’t stop. Had to take a long, long detour. He fussed with his keys some more, and then his pockets. He’d gotten complacent. No pepper spray, and his brass knuckles were left at home, polished and in a little fancy box as if that sealed away his bad past. No, it was probably about to seal his fate.

“I did.” Xehanort was yanked back, and he recognized a knife at his throat. He knew that knife, too, which was all he needed to confirm the identity.

“Saix, unhand me.” Xehanort hissed. He knew the man very well. Had a penchant for dyeing his hair an alarming shade of blue and was a member of Master Xehanort’s crowd from a young age. Typically sent out to reel in strays and deserters. Or sent ‘em back bloodied and with a lesson learned. Or flat out killed them, sometimes on purpose, sometimes “carried away”. Xehanort had no time for any of that.

“Your grandfather’s very disappointed in you.” Saix continued, his voice always soft, always steady. It was unnerving, almost like the scar on his face from a particularly nasty turf struggle. “Doesn’t like your little boyfriend-”

“And he is such a wonderful judge of character.” Xehanort sighed. He was tapping his fingers against each other, thinking. He just had to find the right moment, right spot, and then he’d be scot-free. “Let me go.”

“Don’t think so. You know the rules:” Xehanort leaned away as Saix whispered in his ear, “Resignations aren’t accepted, little boy.” Xehanort rolled his eyes. He’d make it out. He was a slippery “kid” after all.

Saix was waiting. Waiting for something. “Not doing your job very well.” Xehanort muttered.

Saix pressed the knife a little harder, “Just enjoying you cornered.”

“Not for long.” Xehanort then jabbed his elbow into Saix’s stomach, kicked in his knee (or at least tried to) for good measure, and booked it. He was already calculating a route where the chase would go on long enough that they’d give up. Maybe he wouldn’t go back to the apartment for a few days, surely Sora would understand-

A gunshot tore through the air. Xehanort felt something tear up the top of his shoulder, but what Xehanort presumed was a bullet didn’t become embedded. He staggered, grabbed at his shoulder, and looked at it. Grazing shot, he was okay. For a relative definition of okay. Fine, fine, he was fine just had to keep going unless Xigbar (he had a strong suspicion it was Xigbar- he was always their go-to when it came out of range and out of sight operations; the irony of asking for his services and now receiving them felt palpable) felt like riddling him full of holes.

Xehanort was once again yanked back, this time by a deep, burning pain in his side. Xehanort blinked slowly. He writhed when the blade was dragged one way, then tried to get moving again before it plunged in again and dragged the other way. A large, jagged “X” in his side now, drenching his clothes in blood.

Xehanort was shoved forward, onto the ground, and he limply went with it. Wasn’t dead yet, but if he played with the concept he’d be too shocked to move perhaps Saix would leave the job sloppily done. Shock was easy enough to feign at the moment anyways. His hands trembled. Xehanort blinked as it finally settled in the he was stupid enough to get stabbed.

His face was kicked so hard he was turned onto his other side. A sharp ache and a bleeding nose. He closed his eyes, weary and ready to sleep. He heard Saix cursing about something, felt him fussing with the limp body in front of him. Xehanort’s head kept reeling. There was someone... Someone needed him to keep awake. Sleep was a good enough prospect to keep him in some fuzzy compromise of conscious and not.

Saix must have vanished. 

A bird flew over and nudged Xehanort. 

Wings flapped around. 

Wings.

Sora.

The name caused Xehanort’s eyes to snap open. He began trying to sit up. His arm pushed, then buckled. He breathed in. He breathed out. It was a little hard, but it wasn’t long to the apartment. Just a minute or so of walking. His knees wobbled when he was finally up, and he leaned against the wall. Blood was dripping over his hand, off his jacket. Blood. He’d seen a lot of it before but it was never his. He closed his eyes and forced back a wave of some uncomfortable mix of nausea and guilt, then lurched forward.

“Help...” He murmured, to anyone who could hear. He wasn’t about to yell for help when he was supposed to be dead, so a whisper would have to do for now. A pitiful, tiny whisper.

Xehanort managed to get himself up the stairs. Through sheer determination. Stubbornness was a flaw and virtue of his. Now he just had to get the door open, get to the bathroom, clean himself up, and in the morning he’d take off a week or so to recover-

He knocked over the coat-hanger.

“Xeha?” Sora asked from elsewhere in the apartment, “Xeha, you back?”

“Well fuck...” He muttered as he heard footsteps alongside a sharp tap. He wanted to move, but he couldn’t. He was slowly sliding down the wall now, more than ready to collapse. He’d lost his momentum.

“Hey, is everything-”

Sora’s cheerful expression froze. He dropped his walking stick, and it made an empty clatter on the floor. Sora covered his mouth with a shaky gasp.

Xehanort shook his head, “I-I’m fine Sora-”

“Y-you’re bleeding!” Sora cried. He looked around, starting to shake, “You’re bleeding, Xehanort!”

“I’m fine... Captain obvious...” Xehanort muttered. He would be just fine, just needed bandages.

Sora was a whirlwind of panic, running around the apartment and looking through things. “Hold on!” He yelled, “Hold on Xehanort I-I’ll- Here have these!” Sora shoved two rolls of paper towels into Xehanort’s hand, “I’ll get the first aid kit! We need to get you to a hospital-”

“No.” Xehanort said, “I-I have you...” He almost fell forward, until Sora ran over and helped him to the couch (now lined with garbage bags so at least blood didn’t get all over it).

“Xeha-”

“Just a stab...” He murmured. “L-listen to me I can treat this-”

“HOW-” Sora began yelling before Xehanort shook his head.

“Experience...” Xehanort pinched the bridge of his nose a moment. What were they supposed to do? They supposed to keep the stabby thing in- no wait they couldn’t do that... the next course of action...

“Xehanort you’re not thinking straight!” Sora whined, “L-look I’m trying to find the first aid kit as we speak-”

“Red feather?” Xehanort mumbled. Sora got up in a panic, yelling about how he was stupid enough to forget about red feather emergencies. He then ran around screaming some more and trying to get Xehanort to keep talking to him. 

Xehanort stared at the coffee table, where all the little Sorry! pawns were spilled out and a long way from any of their homes on the bloodstained board. A notepad in Sora’s handwriting had all kinds of notes scribbled out or circled: what he used to see what rules worked and what didn’t. Xehanort blinked at a red pawn on its side.

Xehanort then quietly shifted himself on the couch upside-down. He got the stab above his heart, and that would surely stop more of the bleeding more than the wad of paper towels in his hand. He coughed a little because of his nose, but he’d be fine... He’d be fine.

Sora ripped through everything, now clutching Kairi’s necklace painfully tight in his hand. He was praying endlessly to her as he searched, praying to God, praying to whoever would listen. Now where was that damned first aid kit? Where was it? Xehanort had turned himself upside down on the couch, and was spitting blood from his nose into yet another paper towel.

Sora grasped Xehanort and tried righting him, “Xeha what are you-”

“Less blood.” He replied. Sora thought about it, then nodded and went back to his search. 

He then backtracked and gave the necklace to Xehanort, “You need this more than me.” He went right back to frantically zipping about. He finally found the white box with a red cross on it and sighed. He took it right back in when he opened it and found most of what they needed was used up. He almost swore. Almost. Instead he dropped it with an empty sob. He couldn’t get his thoughts straight and there was so much blood everywhere and where was Kairi and Xehanort was dying and this wasn’t how anything was going to happen and this wasn’t what he wanted-

“Sora... You can get what we need at the pharmacy...” Xehanort paused for a labored breath, “correct?”

Sora nodded, “Right, right I can!” He kissed Xehanort, “Stay awake, stay alive.” Soon after that he grabbed his aviator and began heading out the door.

“Sora...!” Xehanort called.

Sora stopped, bending over the stair rail to collect himself. Xehanort had left a trail of blood and it drove him mad with fear. He could see it spiraling down the steps, their happiness going down the drain with it. His hands gripped the cheap iron as if salvation depended on it. “W-what Xeha?” He asked.

“Your cane...”

The horrible ache in his back finally registered. He hadn’t been using it since he dropped it. Sora went back and grabbed it. He kissed Xehanort again, and as he left he could feel his hand brushing his leg in response. Sora nodded and was out the door. He could hear people calling already about the red trail, but he ignored it. He could only barely feel his back, too focused on getting what they needed from the pharmacy. 

Fifteen minutes to get there. 

Five more to get everything gathered and checked out.

Another stiff fifteen minutes of terror.

Sora carefully bandaged Xehanort up stomach and shoulder alike. He made it tight- but not too tight -and cleaned everything up. When Xehanort was lounging on the couch, resting and hopefully okay, Sora went to cleaning up the blood in their apartment, at least. Cleaning up outside would look suspicious. Well, cleaning the inside was suspicious enough but at least he could explain that better at the moment.

There was a knock at the door. Sora glanced up from his scrubbing to see blue and red lights. He went to the door, answering, “No, I didn’t do anything-” He paused, “Oh... Terra!”

Terra blinked, then softly snorted in reply, “Sora? Wait...” He looked at the trail, then back up, “W-what happened?”

“Boyfriend almost died. Not in the mood.” Sora explained.

Terra read Sora’s expression a moment, then glanced inside. He saw Xehanort on the couch, and said, “Look if he was involved-”

“Come back...” Sora glanced at the clock: midnight, “I’d say tomorrow, but it is, so come back this afternoon. W-we’ll answer questions then, okay?”

Terra’s brow furrowed, then he pulled out a notepad and a pencil, “Can I at least get a basic idea of what happened? While it’s fresh? I understand you may be going through some trauma right now but we need the info.”

Sora’s hand dug into the door. “H-he... He was probably walking home from work. Got stabbed. I don’t know who did it but the wound was X-shaped, if that means anything. I’ve got him patched up. I’ll get him in the hospital soon. Right now he’s passed out and paler than he should be, so, if you’ll excuse me-”

“Name?” Terra asked, “And he’s your boyfriend, right?”

Sora hesitated. He then said, “I think he’d wish to remain anonymous for now.”

Terra sighed. After a moment, he nodded, “Right. I understand.” He tipped his cap, “Get some sleep, we’ll be back...” He thought a moment. “We’ll be back around one in the afternoon, that okay?”

“Fine, fine, just leave us alone for a bit.” Sora mumbled.

As Sora closed the door, Terra’s hand shot out, “Hey, be careful, okay? Be safe, we’ll come back with a warrant next time so you’ll have to let us in.”

“Right, right...” Sora mumbled some more. He let Terra leave and he closed the door. He walked over next to Xehanort and sat down on the floor. Sora quietly held Xehanort’s hand, and then wrapped Kairi’s necklace around them both. Where was she? Probably on duty somewhere far, far away or very important if it was taking her this long.

“Please, Lord...” Sora murmured, rocking back and forth, “I know, I know I left you, but I left you for a reason and the reason is him. Don’t take him away, I am begging you... I am begging you.” He repeated it with a soft urgency until he finally fell asleep still clutching Xehanort’s hand.

The clock struck one. Kairi arrived a little while after. “S-sorry I was about a three hour flight away and I was really busy picking some stuff up!” 

She saw the situation and sighed. She walked over and sat down next to Xehanort, leaning her wings over the top of the couch. She put her hands in her lap, not sure if she wanted to wake either of them. Kairi’s hand brushed Xehanort’s injuries, absently sending a few pulses of something gentle and soothing. Not exactly healing but not exactly nothing. Support was a good way to describe it.

Xehanort stirred. He cracked open his eyes to see Kairi smiling. “Still with us, huh?” She giggled.

He smiled back, “Y-yeah...” He looked at Sora, completely out cold next to him. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to wake him or not. He’d need to get back in bed, at least. His walking stick was leaning against the wall a short ways off.

“You’re not in a spot to move, okay?” Kairi whispered.

Xehanort sighed and shifted over with a wince. He closed his eyes, “People are going to be asking-”

“They will.”

“A-and I’ll be-”

“Probably put in jail for previous crimes, yeah.”

“I-I can’t Sora-”

“Still needs some stuff, right.” Kairi held out her hands, and after a small wave she handed something to Xehanort. Xehanort looked at it. Identity papers for Sora, as well as an ID. Not a driving ID, but an ID nonetheless. A new phone for him to replace the one that became bits and pieces on the kitchen floor was also folded in the gift. 

And a small note: “You left, and I am mad, but you left for an admirable reason. Love is one of the greatest things in this world, and I’m glad you found it. Don’t forget where you came from, though. -Gabriel”

Kairi settled back, “That should get Sora squared away enough so that no one’s gonna have a heart attack when he’s not on record when he goes out to get a job to help you out.”

“He can barely walk-” Xehanort protested before Kairi silenced him.

“He’s gonna need to now. Hospital bills and insurance going through the roof for you are gonna make things harder-”

“I-I’m not going to a hospital-”

“Sora’s gonna insist. At least a check up.” Kairi cut him off again.

Xehanort put the papers aside and sighed. He clutched his abdomen, wincing deeply again at the pulse of pain. He took a deep breath, then said, “I-I don’t...” Kairi watched him patiently as Xehanort tried to find his words, “I want to be better... but imprisonment won’t do me or Sora any good.”

Kairi cupped his cheek, “It’ll be fine. I might be able to pull a few strings.”

Xehanort smiled, “Could you?”

“I can try.” Kairi nodded, “You have something they’d probably want: information on your grandfather-”

“No, no...” Xehanort shook his head, “D-distancing myself is one thing, turning him in is another-”

“Xeha, I think you can do it-”

“I-I... I can’t! There’d be even more desire for my blood on the streets-”

“Ask for a pardon. Tell them you’ll help get your grandfather behind bars and have you get away with something light, maybe completely free, alongside protection.” Kairi brushed Xehanort’s hair out of the way, “Look, I’m not even sure if I can convince anyone to pull things out that way, but it’s your best shot besides owning up to your charges.”

Xehanort swallowed. He let out another sigh: weary, broken. Kairi leaned forward and kissed his forehead. A wave of peace settled over him. He watched her get up, “I got to go, since there are others who need me, but Xehanort it’s your call...” She smiled, “I have faith you can make the right choice.”

Xehanort watched her leave, then looked at the clock. He watched it tick away time until he closed his eyes and succumbed to slumber.

It had been a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm suddenly noticing Xeha is getting a Roxas-style arc here ha ha. And officer Terra made a return ha ha! I didn't think I'd use him again lol.
> 
> But anyways hope you enjoyed the pain. Please leave a review yo it helps a lot.


	9. Interview

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE POLICE ARE COMING?!” Xehanort shrieked.

“You’re a witness. W-we both are I couldn’t-” Sora said before Xehanort loudly groaned. He stuffed his face into a pillow, continuing to utter a stream of words that shouldn’t’ve been said. Sora scooted over and rubbed Xehanort’s back, “Well, did you want me to make us look suspicious? Look, you don’t have to tell them anything besides what happened.”

Xehanort brought the pillow away from his face, but kept himself curled around it. Sora could see in his trembling gaze. He was terrified. Hands shook. Gold kept darting around, paranoid. Sora quietly put his jacket on Xehanort, tucking it around him. It seemed only two sizes too small on him.

Xehanort closed his eyes and leaned against Sora. Sora wrapped an arm around him.

“... Why didn’t you tell me?” Sora whispered.

“About what?” Xehanort scoffed.

“That you weren’t safe.”

Xehanort made another small noise. Tongue clicking against his teeth with a small hiss of regret. “We... we were safe.”

“I said _you_ , Xeha.” Sora’s voice temporarily lost its kindness and mirth.

Xehanort refused to talk for a moment. He said, “This was just an accident-”

“I’m not the most street savvy person, Xeha,” Sora said, stiffness and anger starting to take his tone, “but even I can tell this was not just some random act. If they wanted something from you it’d be gone- you’re smart enough to give it to them and report on them. If you didn’t know them and they just wanted you dead you’d be in even worse shape.” 

The anger faded into a whine. A whine that was afraid, “Xeha, I’m not incredibly well read in this kind of thing- I went in and helped people like you, yeah, but I left a lot of it to them. You were something rare, and amazing, and that’s why I’m still here. But I picked up enough to understand that people normally... they don’t...” Sora’s hand went down and brushed what was probably going to be a nasty scar. “They don’t stab something like an ‘X’ unless it was a message. You _knew_ whoever this was.”

Xehanort held Sora’s hand. It was a burden to know it, better if he didn’t-

But what if someone came in? Murdered him while he begged why? Found those wings and ripped every blood drenched feather off or stole them while Sora screamed? Then left Xehanort barely any time to cope before being dragged back into the mess. Or what if he was framed for it? Master Xehanort was crafty, and knew that just killing was more a favor than anything. He knew the dangerous alleys, the shadows, the fears. What the younger Xehanort could come up may have been just as terrifying, and letting that paranoia sink in was an effective means of torture.

“Xeha, are you okay?”

Xehanort finally just shook his head, “I’m not, to be honest with you.”

Sora chuckled, “I could tell, actually...”

Xehanort looked at his hands, and the words fell like water from his lips, “I’m worried. That’s why I didn’t tell you. I’m worried.”

Sora leaned his head against Xehanort’s, then slowly brought him into a hug. His hands clung loose, ready to bail if necessary but more than loving. Xehanort was almost like a blanket over Sora’s relatively skinny frame. Sora smiled and tangled his hands in Xehanort’s hair while giving him a gentle kiss on his forehead.

He finally murmured, “We’ll be fine, okay? Just a few questions, and you don’t have to bring up anything that doesn’t tie in. I mean, you could say you just know whoever it was from like... I dunno high school or something.” Xehanort felt Sora take a huge, heaving breath, and it calmed him. Feeling his chest swell, then subside like the tide. Sora’s hands stroked Xehanort’s hair before settling on the small of his back, “We’ll be fine.”

Sora leaned his head back and over the arm of the couch. Xehanort listened to Sora’s heartbeat.

“We’re gonna get you to a hospital eventually, by the way.” Sora finally spoke again.

“No.” Xehanort grumbled, “It’s going to get expensive-”

“Better than you dying from something like internal bleeding or infection.” Sora bluntly cut him off.

A tap against the door cut their fussing short. Xehanort shifted aside to let Sora walk up. He cracked open the door, and Terra nodded. “Told you we’d be back.”

“Can I see that you actually have a warrant, first?” Sora asked.

Terra showed the small slip of paper, and Sora nodded. He stepped aside with a flourish, “He’s feeling better. Little sore, but better, and I’m gonna try and get a hospital visit arranged-”

“I never agreed to that.” Xehanort sighed. He looked over at Terra, then leaned against the couch with a pout.

Sora, meanwhile, was greeting someone Terra had brought along, “I’m Sora, and my boyfriend is the one who got stabbed last night.”

“Terra told me. Must’ve been fun.” Terra’s companion was a woman roughly around his age. She had dyed her hair blue- which made Xehanort extremely uncomfortable -but on her it was cropped short and windswept. It was in a different, gentler shade anyways. It also kept her eyes in clear view; a startling shade of blue like Sora, but unlike Sora it seemed to hold the tranquil unease just before a storm and the lightning that heralded it. Her gloved hand shook Sora’s firmly- maybe verging on too firm, “I’m Aqua.”

Terra wrapped an arm around her, “My lucky charm.”

Aqua responded by holding his waist, “My star pupil.”

Sora glanced back at Xehanort. Still silent and broody. Sora then turned right back to Terra and Aqua and asked, “For what?”

“Aqua’s got a way with people.” Terra said, “Something that keeps them calm.”

“I run a dojo a few streets over.” Aqua winked, “Always up for giving self-defense lessons.”

“Knocked me down in three seconds flat!” Terra laughed, “She’s amazing.” He then coughed, suddenly remembering what he was here for, “Ah, but enough about Aqua. I’m here for what happened last night.”

Sora nodded, and pulled out a couple folding chairs for the two, “Yeah.” He settled himself next to Xehanort and grabbed his hand, “Just a few questions, right?”

“I suppose.” Xehanort’s voice had gotten calloused and stiff.

Terra nodded as he pulled out a pencil and a notepad, “Just a few. Relay what happened, when if you can, give a description, and we’ll be on our way.”

Aqua nodded, “It’s that easy. If it doesn’t relate to the situation then you don’t have to tell.”

Xehanort- who had been avoiding looking at both of them for the time being -glowered at them. He sighed. His free hand continued to dig into his cheek while the hand in Sora’s grasp hovered around his wound.

“Xeha,” Sora said, “You okay? D-do you think we need to get going to the hospital-”

“No, I’m fine.” Xehanort curtly replied.

“Xeha?” Terra asked, “Do you mind if I write that down as your name?”

Xehanort shook his head, sighing, “Can this be anonymous?” To Terra it sounded exasperated. To Sora it sounded worried.

Terra scribbled it out, “Sure, sure, of course.” He then said, “If you’re really worried about it we can get you in the witness protection-”

“NO.” Xehanort hissed. Shortly after his pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head, “I-it’s too much.” Sora tried to say something, but then closed his mouth as if he thought better of it.

“Okay then...” Terra hesitated. He glanced at Aqua. She shrugged. He then cleared his throat, “Okay, so, last night-”

“A nightmare.” Xehanort admitted.

“It’d be a nightmare to anyone.” Terra nodded with sympathy, then gestured to Sora with his pencil, “He was a complete wreck. I could tell and I’ve only met him once.”

Xehanort’s hand clenched around Sora’s. Sora hugged him, “Xeha, Xeha I’m right here, okay?”

Xehanort whispered, “You were terrified-”

“I’m not anymore.” Sora wrapped himself around Xehanort, “I’m just worried now.”

“Same difference.” Xehanort murmured.

Terra coughed, “We found blood about a minute walk away from the apartment-”

“My commute from work is one I walk.” Xehanort began explaining. He paused to watch Terra write down a few more things. Aqua leaned over, and gave Terra a look.

“What?” Terra asked. Aqua pointed. “It’s a suspicion.” He said. Aqua gave him another stern glare. “Right, right... Innocent until proven guilty.” Terra shook his head, “Thank you, Aqua.” He scribbled something more. Probably a note to remind him of that. “Which way is work?” He asked.

“I was walking past the apartment when I was stabbed.” Xehanort said. “So the trail from the initial pool of blood was me backtracking.”

“Why?” Terra didn’t lift his head from his writing.

“Because I didn’t want to head back home with someone dangerous on my trail. That would put Sora in danger-”

Terra held ups his hands, “Woah woah woah. Let’s back up a little. Put things in chronological order. So you were walking home, and you knew someone was following you?”

“A few minutes before home, yes.” Xehanort’s eyes kept shifting. His hand gripped Sora’s as if it was trying to wring comfort from him. “A man called out to me, and I started walking faster.”

“You remember what he said?” Terra asked.

Xehanort pressed his lips together. “I don’t feel... I don’t think it would be important-”

“It could clue us in on motivation.” Terra said.

Xehanort looked at Sora. Sora smiled; uncertain, but a green light. “He said my name...” The recall was hesitant, “And when I didn’t reply he said it was no way to greet an old friend. And then he grabbed me and put a knife to my throat.”

Terra jotted it down, “Did you ever see him?”

“... Yes. About as tall as you are and similarly built. Blue hair. Scar on his face. Gold eyes. He’s hard not to recognize.”

“You’re saying that like you knew him.” Terra said with a glance at Aqua. She nodded, brow furrowed.

“High school.” Sora cut in, “He told me that he recognized the guy as someone he knew from high school.”

Terra looked at Xehanort. Xehanort nodded with a silent thanks to Sora. Terra dotted a few “i”s and crossed a few “t”s, “What happened next?”

“I got out. Elbowed him, kicked his knee, and ran away.” Xehanort knew he was missing a rather key conversation, but phrasing it this way wasn’t lying. Not entirely. “I ran until a bullet grazed my shoulder-”

Terra stopped Xehanort, “He had a gun-?”

“No, you idiot.” Xehanort hissed, “He had an accomplice.”

Sora shook his head, “Xeha, he’s just trying to get the whole picture.” Sora leaned over and gave Xehanort a quick kiss before settling his head on Xeha’s shoulder and whispering, “I know you’re stressed and don’t wanna do this, but letting Terra ask his questions will get him out faster and then we can relax.”

Terra was baffled as Xehanort’s cold expression faded into something soft and sincere. Xehanort hugged Sora back with a tiny murmur, “I know, I know.” He looked like a child holding a teddy bear.

Terra cleared his throat, “So you were walking back, a guy knew you, attempted assault, and when you were free to run you got shot at by an unknown accomplice?”

“That is it so far, yes.” Xehanort confirmed, “I slowed down unknowingly to check my shoulder, and then my assailant caught up with me and stabbed me. Once one way, another the other.”

“In an ‘X’ shape?” Terra asked. Mirth had faded entirely from his voice.

“... Yes.” Xehanort said after a short pause.

Aqua looked at Terra, “See? That bit doesn’t add up-”

“Not with what I was thinking, yeah.” Terra agreed. He then got back to the testimony, “You were stabbed, and then?”

“I was shoved down.” Xehanort continued, “And I played dead. He kicked me over and I almost passed out. A blur later I was heading back to Sora.”

“It was your neighbors that called 911.” Terra said as he wrote it all down, “Some kids who were throwing a party heard a gunshot above their music, and one of them thinks they heard someone asking for help.”

“I did. It was a whisper. I didn’t know if he was still around, and I didn’t want to draw too much attention to myself.” Xehanort replied.

Terra tapped his pencil, “Well, why didn’t you? Did you not have your phone?”

Xehanort had his phone that night. “Just...” _didn’t want to get caught_ , “didn’t cross my mind with the shock.”

“Reasonable.” Terra nodded. “And you got back into the apartment and...?”

“I tried to get myself taken care of without alerting Sora.” Xehanort looked away, growing quiet.

Sora took the reins of the conversation, “He knocked over the coat hanger, and when I walked in there was blood everywhere... I-I started looking for the first aid kit, and then I got him sitting down on the couch-”

“Why isn’t there blood?” Aqua asked, “Surely there’s stains on there-”

“I put some garbage bags on there first. And I gave him paper towels.” Sora said. He then gestured to the entryway, “And I cleaned up when Xeha was okay. Terra came by right in the middle of it.” Sora then added, “I also took a walk down to the pharmacy to get bandages and supplies between putting Xehanort down on the couch and cleaning the blood.”

Terra wrote it down. He asked, “That all?”

“Xehanort was asleep,” Sora said, “and I couldn’t tell if he was going to be okay or not.” Xehanort looked at Sora as his voice cracked, “I just sat down next to him and held his hand and prayed that he wouldn’t... That he wouldn’t...” The word became lodged in Sora’s throat. Xehanort quietly held Sora’s hand tighter, and Sora finished, “You know.”

There was a moment of silence before Sora said, “That’s all.”

“So, “Terra began his recap, “your boyfriend was walking home from work when someone from high school began following him. Eventually your boyfriend was restrained by his old pal- a guy like me with blue hair and a scar on his face -and when he fled he got a taste of a bullet, then stabbed. After sitting there he made his way back to your apartment, where you gave him medical assistance and I arrived shortly after.”

“That is all correct, and all there is to that night.” Xehanort told Terra.

Terra and Aqua stood, Terra nodding his head, “All right. Thanks for the cooperation.”

Sora stood and ushered them out, “If you need anything more, let us know, okay?”

“If you need help learning how to keep each other safe, let me know.” Aqua replied, “I’m willing to give you two a free one hour session.”

“That’s very kind of you.” Sora grinned, “We’ll give it a go some time.”

The door quietly closed behind Terra and Aqua.

Aqua looked at Terra, “Okay, so his name is Xeha, big deal.”

“Nickname, probably.” Terra replied. “The way Sora mentioned it was really casual.”

“Okay so his nickname is Xeha.” Aqua sighed, “Big. Deal.”

Terra looked over his notes as they walked down the stairs. “X has been popping up a lot.”

“Related to Master Xehanort’s crowd, yeah. You’ve told me.” Aqua mentioned.

“Just thinking.” Terra replied. He got in his car, but left the door open. After a moment of thinking- staring ahead intensely at something that wasn’t there -he said, “Something tells me he didn’t tell us everything.”

“He probably didn’t.” Aqua replied, sitting next to him. “But first let’s get him to trust us okay? He was scared.”

“Of what?” Terra asked.

Aqua shrugged, “Who knows.” She got up and went to her own car, “Talk about it over a spar later?”

“Sure.” Terra sighed. He leaned over and closed the car door. He ripped out the sheets in his notebook and pulled out a folder. It was black, simple, and in silver sharpie labeled “Master Xehanort”. Terra put the pages in, flipping through a few other things and noting every detail. 

Aqua’s car drove past. 

Terra was staring at a small picture tucked away in the back. A boy, smiling, with dazzling blue eyes and barely combed blond hair. Something snipped out of a newspaper, and the headline with its article had already been passed by.

His phone buzzed, and he checked it.

[To: Master Aqua]

[Aqua: I saw you.]  
[Aqua: I know it hurts]  
[Aqua: and I know you miss him]  
[Aqua: and this “Zeha” kid has a lot pointing against him]  
[Aqua: but right now this could be a completely unrelated crime.]  
[Aqua: give it awhile for things to get sorted out, okay?]  
[Aqua: when you got really solid evidence besides your gut and a few coincidences]  
[Aqua: (not that you have a bad gut but it’s not always right, you know?)]  
[Aqua: THEN you can see if this is a step forward to getting your justice.]  
[Aqua: but for now, Terra?]  
[Aqua: just do your job]  
[Aqua: this looks irrelevant right now, so don’t worry about it]  
[Aqua: just follow this case to the end]  
[Aqua: if it’s connected, fine]  
[Aqua: the rest will come with time]  
[Aqua: but for now don’t make assumptions]  
[Aqua: love you <3]

[love you too, Aqua]  
[Thanks for keeping me grounded]

[Aqua: sure thing, earth-boy ;)]

Terra smiled and put the phone away. He then put up his folder without adding the new pages. Instead he stuck those under his visor. Potential evidence and needed for his report later, after all. He drove off, thinking a myriad number of ways this could play out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Terra gets some rounding and his girlfriend Sifu Aqua arrives on the scene! Specifically she teaches Kung Fu San Soo.


	10. Rest

“Breathe in.”

Xehanort did so, grumpily sighing as he breathed out. The bed he was sitting on was still too cold and too hard and the room was too bare and he loathed the fact Sora managed to play the “Xeha it’ll make me happier if you get a quick check up” card and how well it worked.

The doctor- a shrewd man with graying blond hair and unsettling green eyes -nodded and set aside his stethoscope, “Well, you have a slight issue with your breathing from what I can hear. Do you have trouble?”

“No, not really.” Xehanort muttered. It was only barely harder. The difference between one pound and one and a half. Small.

“Are you sure?” the doctor insisted, “I am detecting that your injury may have affected-”

“I’m fine.” Xehanort hissed. “It’s small. There’s no need for any care yet, Doctor...” Xehanort never caught his name.

“Even. Doctor Even.” He replied. “Of course... I see differently, but you do have a right to deny procedures, unless it’s immediately life threatening.” Even’s fingers tapped around. Idly, as if he was typing away his thoughts to be filed away in his brain. He then said, “I suppose with rest and proper care you’ll be fine. Whoever got those bandages on you knew what they were doing, so thank them.”

Xehanort stood and rolled his shoulders, “Right.”

“We’re not done yet.” Even flipped through a few pages, muttering about how it “was too late for stitches” and how he’d at least prescribe Xehanort some antibiotics. After a quick blood test. Xehanort sighed as he felt his wallet becoming an empty chasm.

“Ienzo! Nurse Ienzo!” Even stomped out of the room, yelling, “Ooh! Where is that blasted intern!”

When Even was gone, Sora walked in. He sat next to Xehanort, “So, how we lookin’?”

“In debt.” Xehanort sighed.

“Oh come on,” Sora laughed, “It’s not that bad.”

“It isn’t,” Xehanort admitted, “but it certainly feels like it.”

“Are you at least okay?” Sora asked. He rubbed Xehanort’s abdomen, “You gonna live?”

Xehanort kissed Sora’s cheek, “Doctor Even says I’ll be fine with bed rest and some antibiotics for good measure. He’s also gonna do a blood test to see how things check out-”

“Is he gone?” came a dreary moan.

Sora and Xehanort turned as a dismal looking young man walked in. Besides his typical nurse scrubs, he had his dark hair attempted to be dyed some shade of blue or purple, but it was hard to tell. Periwinkle was a more accurate description. He had a majority of it clipped back on one side, and he looked completely unamused by this. A name tag- one of the little sticker ones saying “Hello! My name is ___” -was pasted onto his shirt, the blank filled with “Ienzo” and then in tinier handwriting that must have taken a considerable amount of patience or boredom “I really don’t want to be here”.

“You’re cheerful.” Sora mumbled.

“And YOU’RE not the patient or related to him, so step aside.” Ienzo smartly remarked. As he assembled a syringe, a tourniquet, and some rubbing alcohol he continued, “I suppose I am rightfully vapid and amicable in the proper company, but spend all day studying under HIS care and anyone would go mad.” 

Sora scooted away while Xehanort sighed and rolled up his sleeve. “Doctor Even is... Grating company, I can agree.” Xehanort nodded with sympathy.

“Doctor Even might as well be wasting my scholarship.” Ienzo continued preparing Xehanort for a quick blood draw, “He’s brilliant in certain areas, but he never lets me try anything for myself.” Xehanort looked away from Ienzo as his blood was drawn. He’d had too much of a good look at it recently. Sora smiled.

“Now, apply some pressure there for a moment.” Ienzo said. Xehanort did so, not surprised at all it didn’t take long. Ienzo put everything how it should have been, and walked over to bandage to point quickly, “Thank you for actually listening to me.”

“You’re the one studying for a medical degree, not me.” Xehanort replied.

“Most look at me and think I’m too young.” Ienzo sighed through his teeth, “Or too much of a delinquent.”

“You seem just grumpy.” Sora helpfully suggested. “Try being nice.”

Ienzo squared away everything and kept up the idle chatter, “I’d love to be nice... to people of my intellect. If there was any. There’s Aeleus, but I never get to see him these days.” He then waved his hand, “Results should come in the mail within the week. You both can go.”

“Thank you, Nurse Ienzo.” Sora said as he lead Xehanort away.

“Thank you, for taking me seriously.” He replied.

...

Xehanort steered the car with one hand, leaning his elbow to the other against the window and propping up his head.

“That wasn’t so bad now, was it?” Sora asked.

Xehanort rolled his eyes as they stopped by the pharmacy to pick up his prescription, “Fine. I guess it wasn’t.”

...

Xehanort had his arms wrapped around Sora as they both watched some horrendously stupid movie on Netflix. Something about sharks in a tornado with terrible CGI and atrocious acting. Xehanort tossed some popcorn in his mouth and chewed thoughtfully. Maybe if he thought hard enough the movie would get better and have some degree of meaning. “Why are we watching this?” He asked.

“Because we need to laugh.” Sora giggled.

Xehanort winced at yet another show of red coloring that must have been blood, but was so fake he figured it was ketchup or kool aid. Then someone made a crude joke and Sora laughed.

“How can you laugh at this...” Xehanort sighed as he continued stuffing himself full of popcorn.

“Because it’s stupid.” Sora replied while he tried to catch his breath, “It’s ridiculous. Don’t take it so seriously.”

“The actors attempted to.” Xehanort quipped. Sora started cackling again. He snuggled back deeper into Xehanort’s embrace with a content sigh, hugging the popcorn bowl to ease his muscles sore from laughter. Xehanort smiled and fed Sora some bits of popcorn. Sora giggled and accepted them.

After a moment, Xehanort’s hands settled on Sora’s waist, “Is your back well?”

“I’m with you,” Sora replied, “so it’s fine.”

“Really really?” Xehanort whispered in Sora’s ear over the drama on the screen no one could ever care for.

Sora put the popcorn aside, turned over, and kissed Xehanort. The two sat there, together, ignoring the below-b-movie. While their small dance went on and gathered steam, Sora’s hand drifted over to the coffee table to grab the remote and turn the TV off to enjoy the moment. More like fumbled to find it and then promptly ruined the moment by changing the input from Netflix to a blaring late-night advertisement about how some oddball channel held day-and-night coverage of struggle competitions from college level to professional, and how they should totally pay for the HD footage of people whacking each other with styrofoam weapons for little velcro balls.

“Sora where is the blasted remote-”

“FOR ONLY A SMALL FEE ADDED TO YOUR CABLE PACKAGE-”

“I-I dunno!”

“COVERAGE ACROSS EVERY GAME!”

“Give me that!”

ROOT FOR YOUR FAVORITE TEAM WHEREVER YOU ARE!”

“Xeha I can’t find the button how can you-”

The TV screen buzzed out and left the living room in darkness. Their ears rang from the annoyingly boisterous and loud announcer. They waited for some neighbor to bang on their roof or wall, pissed off they were woken at this hour.

“Moment gone...” Sora sighed.

“Moment gone.” Xehanort agreed. They sat in a loose embrace in the darkness for awhile. It was easy to listen to their breaths, easy to feel each other’s heartbeats and gentle touches.

Sora finally murmured, “I’m tired...”

Xehanort smiled and picked Sora up, “Well then, we have a nice bed that’s certainly better than the couch.”

Sora chuckled, not even protesting at being carried to bed. Xehanort turned on the fan- and lights -with a gentle finger flick. He carefully laid Sora down and tucked him in before getting in himself and snuggling tight around Sora. “Comfortable?” He asked. He certainly was, with his chin resting on Sora’s shoulder and his arms wrapped comfortably tight around his little piece of sky.

“Um...” Sora giggled some more, “Xeha we’re not in PJs...”

Xehanort devilishly smirked. “I can change that.”

“Xeha!” Sora’s face grew red.

“Well at least I’m honest.” Xehanort smugly murmured as he got ready to sleep. Knowing Sora, he probably had lost the interest for something like that thanks to the stupid struggle commercial. “But if that isn’t what you wish we can leave it for another day.”

“You’re being honest in more than one way right now.” Sora mumbled. He then squirmed out of Xehanort’s grasp to turn the lights off, “But even if I’m sleepy, I wouldn’t mind resuming our kisses...” Sora changed into some simple pajamas and slinked back into bed, this time he was the one playing big spoon.

He kissed Xehanort’s cheek, “Moment back.”

Xehanort was already fast asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kinda laughing at how Even and Ienzo got in this fic before Roxas or Ven or Riku. Like... they're just such minor characters I've like _never_ written for and somehow they got in here before any of those guys.
> 
> Also Sora and Xehanort watching Sharknado to calm down is one of the best ideas I've had in awhile lol.


	11. Forward Steps

Xehanort and Sora were still snuggling long into the next morning. Sora had shifted around over the night, so Xehanort woke up to his partner being less a hugger and more his new blanket. “Sora...” He mumbled. Sora moaned something and got even more on top of Xehanort. “Sora.” Xehanort said a little more firmly.

“Love ya...” Sora murmured. “Love ya you... silly noodle.”

“Silly noodle?” Xehanort chuckled. He turned over and cupped Sora’s face, “Is that the largest insult you can think of?”

Sora blearily opened his eyes and grinned, “No... it’s because...” he paused to yawn, “you are a silly noodle who worries too much.” Sora then sleepily fell over onto Xehanort’s chest, “Now I wanna sleep.” 

Xehanort smiled and tangled his hands in Sora’s hair. The brunet hummed in approval and snuggled in. Xehanort leaned back in his pillows and let out a soft exhale. No need to rush. He’d be taking off at least a few days, maybe the week, to rest. It felt like he had all the time in the world for things like this.

After a minute or two of indulging in sleeping Sora, Xehanort slipped out of bed. He got out a pan, and a bowl, some eggs, milk, bread, vanilla, cinnamon. He had a simple recipe for french toast. One that tasted utterly delicious. 

He sighed at remembering it was a family recipe, but it wasn’t like Sora would taste the difference between it and any other french toast. Why was there even a special family recipe anyways? Was french toast really that flexible when it came to diversity? Perhaps it was just a little white lie by his father to make the recipe sound special. And one white lie became another, and another, and soon they weren’t even white anymore.

Xehanort hastily saved one slice moments from being badly burnt. “One for me then...” He mumbled. It’d been at least a year or two since he’d seen his father. It didn’t matter. Not at all. Xehanort flipped the toast with idle boredom, then a moment or two later put it on a different plate, “One for Sora.”

He remembered sitting on the floor and coloring while his father and grandfather talked about things he couldn’t make out through memory, occasionally grandfather saying that “junior’s gonna be the best we’ve ever had.” The best what? Pawn? He was aware of that now, and was playing along then. Perhaps he had planned once to get himself to the top, but not anymore.

Another burnt piece for him.

From the very start Sora was someone different. No fear, no anger, no indifference. Someone who had walked up to Xehanort and treated him with an honest respect. He provided gentle encouragement despite Xehanort’s lack of interest and showed care and compassion unfazed by what had been done.

Sora got another slice of toast.

Of course then Xehanort had to get him horribly drunk. And then impaired the poor angel to the point where he thought Xehanort was worth more than immortality and perfection and wings. Sora put himself through the worst pain of his life and almost crippled himself for Xehanort’s sake. Bile rose in Xehanort’s mouth.

Another charred mess for himself.

But Sora seemed to have no regrets. He was happy. He was, right? He was worried sick only a few nights ago. If he didn’t care he could’ve left Xehanort to bleed out right there. He’d done more than enough to deserve it. Callously letting things stay as they were because he was too scared to change, ignoring people who asked for his help, shunning his own family eventually...

Xehanort swore and turned off the stove. Fine. A strong helping of charred french toast for him and a few perfect slices for Sora. He wanted to do more, but at this rate he would either burn the apartment down or burn up the entire loaf. He got Sora a glass of milk and added sugar, vanilla, warmed it up. After sifting through the spice cabinet a moment he found and sprinkled some nutmeg. That would make a nice glass. That would make up for the lack of actual toast. Maybe. He ended up making himself a cup of it.

While waiting for everything to cool down to a tolerable temperature, a pair of hands suddenly wrapped around his waist and a body leaned forward onto him.

“Morning, Xeha.” Sora mumbled. “Smelled something burning...” Sora sleepily grinned at the burnt toast, “Makin’ breakfast?”

Xehanort shuffled forward, carefully dragging Sora along until Sora reached out to the counter and backed up. Xehanort then quietly handed Sora his toast and milk along with a fork, “I was hoping to give you this in bed.”

“Didn’t have to!” Sora laughed.

“It’s been awhile since I could do something like that with you always sleeping in.” Xehanort replied. He hastily scooted his portion of toast behind himself.

Sora leaned over, one hand holding his plate with the other having his fork hovering over it. He looked at Xehanort with one eyebrow arched, “You’re not eating that, are you?”

“... Nooo...” Xehanort hesitantly whispered. Later, probably. It’d be a shame to have food go to waste like that. Maybe he could scrape off the burnt bits anyways.

Sora caught a piece of toast in his fork and held it out, “Here, you gave me all the good toast.”

“No, no, no.” Xehanort protested, “Sora, that’s your- omp.” He rolled his eyes when Sora went in and gave him the bite of toast anyways.

While Xehanort munched on it, Sora giggled, “See? You talk too much.”

“I talk just enough.” Xehanort grumbled.

Sora ate his toast in silence. He looked out the kitchen window at the city below. Xehanort drummed his fingers on the counter. Maybe he could let the irritable episode that had resulted in several bread casualties slip away. Shove it back to be dealt with some other time.

“Xeha, you okay?” Sora set his empty plate down.

“Fine.” Xehanort murmured. Then, bursting out of him in some sudden urge to be truthful, “Sora, why do you love me?”

Sora blinked. He asked back, “Why do you love me?” His way of saying it was less insecure and more teasing. He was confident Xehanort loved him and that wouldn’t go away, blissfully unaware of changing opinions.

“I love you because you are kind.” Xehanort began the list, walking forward. “I love you because you are gentle. I love you because you are optimistic and can find the positive in everything. I love you because there is love for everything in your eyes.” He quietly held Sora’s face, “I love you because you believe in me, and somewhere along the way you became my sunshine that I would wither without.”

Sora giggled. Sora then repeated Xehanort’s gesture, “Well I love you because you have a spark in your eyes, one that’s full of restrained passion.” He stood on his tip toes, “I love you because while you’re hard at first, you’re really full of kindness you’re not used to expressing. I love you because you’re putting me first whenever you can.” Sora kissed Xehanort, “I love you because you were willing to change for me, and if you keep it up you’ll be a great person.”

When Sora backed away, Xehanort asked, “What have I done for you?”

“Made me some really great breakfast,” Sora said, “Got me a walking stick that helps me get around, gave me a home and care when my wings were gone, watched the stupidest movie in the world with me, listened to me when I asked you to give testimony for what happened when you were stabbed and go to the hospital...” Sora trailed off, then asked, “Xeha did you take your antibiotics?”

“No.” Xehanort backed up to get the small orange bottle of pills from the bathroom. He read the instructed dose and gulped it down. If it meant less time worrying about medical fees than it was certainly worth it. He heard Sora answering the door, and paused to examine himself in the mirror. He had never really noticed the fire in his eyes that Sora was talking about. Most of the time they were drooped with bored indifference. But there was a determination to them. It wasn’t warm, though. It was cold.

“Hey, Xeha?”

“What?”

“Terra’s back.”

Xehanort’s blood pressure dropped. He blinked. Who was back? Terra was back. But didn’t he tell him what happened? _Fuck_. “W-who?” He asked.

“Terra,” Sora replied, “you know, officer Terra?”

“I-I’ll... be there shortly.” Xehanort covered his mouth. What was he going to do? He’d already said what he could.

Sora, meanwhile, got out a folding chair for Terra again, “So, where’s Aqua?”

“Teaching.” Terra replied. He then said, “So where’s Xeha-”

“Here.” Xehanort walked in and sat down. “Officer I’ve already told you everything-” He stopped himself. Terra was in some rather casual civilian clothes: baggy tan sweatpants, a gray muscle shirt, armbands on his wrists with a rather ornate watch sitting on the left. 

Terra held out his hand, “No formalities today. I’m visiting as just Terra.”

Xehanort reluctantly accepted his hand. He sat down, “So, just Terra, why are you visiting?”

“Figured we’d get more acquainted.” He said.

“No desire to.” Xehanort said curtly. He stood, preparing to leave, “Now if you’ll excuse me-”

“Xeha!” Sora whined, “That’s really rude!”

Xehanort sighed and sat back down, “Fine.”

“Look,” Terra said, “whatever happens between us off hours is between us. I’m willing to keep it that way.”

Xehanort blinked. Terra noticed him ease up and relax. Sora smiled, “See? Just because he shows up doesn’t mean he’s here to get you in trouble.”

“All right then...” Xehanort mumbled. He got up again, “Should I make us some popcorn?”

“That’d be pretty nice.” Terra agreed. He watched Xehanort for a moment, then asked, “So... Xeha... nickname right?”

“Yeah.” Sora said. Xehanort shot him a glare. Sora looked back, “Not like he knows your actual name!”

“Xeha...” Terra muttered. He then growled, “Wouldn’t happen to be short for Xehanort?”

Sora snapped his head back to Terra, surprised the normally laid-back young man looked so... furious. Something dark had raised its ugly head. Xehanort had frozen. The microwave dinged but no one moved.

Terra sighed, “S-sorry... I should’ve waited for Aqua to come-”

“I-it’s fine...” Sora’s voice was low from shock.

“No,” Terra explained, “she tends to keep me in check.” He muttered to himself, something indistinct and angry.

Xehanort sat down with the bowl of popcorn and set it aside. He kept thinking in circles about what move to make. He thought about Kairi and pulling strings and walked over to get her necklace. She knew he’d make the right choice... but what was the right choice?

“My name...” He said. Stopped. “M-my name, Terra...” He couldn’t bear Terra’s gaze: gray and dark and full of wrath, but also very, very tired. Xehanort took a deep breath, “Look. I can tell you more about what happened to me, but I need to ask you one thing: whatever I bring up, I cannot be charged for.”

“X-Xeha!” Sora exclaimed. He bit his lip, “Xeha that’s...”

“I’m asking for a pardon, in return for the whole picture.” What was he saying? He also asked, “And I want to know why you’re really here.”

Terra leaned back in his seat. He closed his eyes and bitterly laughed, “Got me.” He then sighed, “Well, yeah you dropped a bombshell I’d like to take advantage of, but-”

“The only reason I’m offering it is because Sora and people like him are asking me to be better.” Xehanort quickly clarified, “And you are extremely lucky that I am deciding to listen.”

Terra nodded, “I am.” He sighed. “Now... the reason I’m here... I-I’m not here because of what happened to you, exactly. Not here because I’m supposed to check up with you on that case.” He pulled out a news article and unfolded it. “The thing is I’m looking for leads and connections on an old one, and I’ve got a good feeling about you knowing more than you let on.” It looked a little worn from age, and whatever picture it had was cut out. Not that Sora or Xehanort wanted to see it considering what the title said:

_**LOCAL HIGH SCHOOLER FOUND DEAD AND MUTILATED IN RIVER.** _

Xehanort picked up the article, reading it over in shock and Sora doing the same while Terra elaborated, “That kid was my friend. Senior year of high school and my best friend was murdered.” Instead of tears, Terra seemed to shake with anger. “I took a nose dive half way through the year. Barely managed to graduate because I finally realized moping around wasn’t going to help my friend or stop anything like that from happening again. Joined the police force. I’ve been trying to find out how to tie it to someone, anyone, all this time.”

Terra’s voice was grating, growling with restrained grief, “It’s been twelve years. I’ve got leads that Master Xehanort’s crowd is involved but I don’t have any damn proof-”

Xehanort said, “The article describes-”

“The sixteen year old’s body had a large X on both back and chest, and another between his eyes. Officials seem to believe the marks were inflicted postmortem, with the bruising on his neck and damaged knuckles indicating a struggle while the teenager was alive. Evidence was hard to glean from the water-logged corpse as decay had already set in.” Terra recited. “I know. I’ve been reading that every damn day-”

“That is something Organization XIII does.” Xehanort murmured. He’s seen it himself. It was rare to do it on actual people, however. Mostly “X” was used as a territory or property marker. Vague enough to be passed by for normal people, but specific enough to be understood by the underbelly of the city. If it was used on a person... They fucked up horribly and needed a reminder. But what did a kid do to deserve murder? Even evil had standards.

Terra nodded, “I’ve seen it a lot.” He then said, “So your name really is Xehanort, right?”

“The II.” Xehanort clarified, “If you’re looking for the Xehanort that runs Organization XIII, that would be my grandfather.”

“But I thought your grandfather ran a gang-” Sora remarked before Xehanort waved his hand.

“Organization XIII is the name of it.”

“Oooh.” Sora nodded his head.

Terra blinked. His brow crumpled with understanding, “Ah, that’s why you asked to be cleared of charges.”

“I’ve done things, yes.” Xehanort said, “But I’m trying to make up for them now.” He felt Sora hug him, nodding furiously.

Terra then asked, “Okay, so I can get a confirmation that your family is related to this?”

“My blood relations wouldn’t sully their own hands like this.” Xehanort said, “They’d bring in someone else. Or... This is twelve years ago. Mayhaps someone else got mad and decided to call in the fact that they had influence in the city. Maybe they even had the gall to bluff and aren’t around anymore.” 

Or maybe it was a stupid dare by cruel, cruel teenagers who no one convicted. There was too many things swirling in Xehanort’s head to properly pick it all apart right now. Why a random teenager was murdered, he didn’t know. He didn’t know a lot about the case anyways, he was 11 when it happened, and Xemnas refused to tell him anything about it.

“Organization XIII did it...” Terra murmured. He hung his head, “I’m not fucking crazy... I was right...”

“It’s a matter of understanding what’s a message and what’s connected to it.” Xehanort told Terra, “I imagine it was ignored because the heretic’s mark wasn’t in common use then-”

“What does religion have to do with this?” Terra snapped.

“Not heretic in its religious connotation.” Xehanort explained, “Heretic as in someone who’s different and goes against what is commonly accepted. We call it that because that’s what we are. Or rather, in my case, was.”

“They dropped the case after about a year of puzzling it. I’ve been picking up the pieces where they fell all this time, adding clues whenever I’ve found them.” Terra said. “Whoever it was covered up their tracks really well, and I lost a lot of evidence and time waiting to get into the force.”

“Well,” Xehanort said, “Do you have enough?”

“Not really-”

“Then let me add something.” Xehanort cut Terra off, “The marks are very explicit. They’re marking the child as ours. We see what he does, and we own his body.” Getting blank looks from Terra and Sora, Xehanort explained, “The placement of the X. It’s important. Not just for kicks or sadism.” Xehanort sighed, “I can’t imagine why, though... His name was withheld as per the parent’s request, but may I ask what was it?”

“Ventus.” Terra said. “His name was Ventus.” He then hissed, “He wouldn’t join a stupid gang.”

“Hmmm... You’d be surprised. But do be relieved: I can’t recall anyone talking about a member named Ventus anyways.” Xehanort said.

Terra took the article back, “Look, can you just tell me who could’ve done it-”

“The man who attacked me, Saix.” Xehanort felt like he was saying too much but the words kept pouring, “He could’ve, and that may have been his descent into becoming the sadistic hitman he is today.”

“That’s why I was intrigued by the X you got. It was familiar.” Terra agreed, “But how old is he-”

“How old are you?”

“A few years from 30.”

“Then Saix may have been too young. Or involved with murder from a very young age, which wouldn’t surprise me.” Xehanort waved his hand. “As for any other people, I don’t know. I’m trying to cut ties, therefore I cannot just ask around-”

“Maybe you can?” Sora suddenly spoke up. “It would be dangerous, but if you can say you’re sorry-”

“It would be quicksand.” Xehanort protested. This was spiraling downward too fast for his tastes, “One moment would become the rest of my life-”

“Xeha I think you can do it.” Sora said.

Xehanort felt Sora grab his hand. He looked at Terra. Terra nodded, “It would be dangerous, but if you could bring this one bit of justice... I’d be okay with waving over your previous involvement with things.”

Xehanort and Terra held eye contact with each other. Terra looked pleading, desperate. Xehanort felt Sora holding his hand tight, and out of the corner of his eye he saw him nodding.

Xehanort yielded first, “Fine. I suppose I can try to get back in to ask around.” He wanted to do good. Might as well try. If he wanted to be a good person he was going to start acting like it. It was an opportunity to get himself closure anyways. Maybe now he would understand thoroughly what he was trying to leave behind.

He was surprised by Terra lurching forward and hugging him. “Thank you... Thank you so much...”

Xehanort didn’t recognize the feelings in the pit of his stomach, but he liked some part of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus we get Xeha on the road to cleaning his act better. Also hi the Nort gang has a name now because I finally gave in.
> 
> And yes Ventus was brutally murdered I am sorry my sunshine child ;3;


	12. Brought to Light

[To: Door to Darkness]

[Look I need a ride.]  
[Coming home.]

Xehanort hoped he would never be texting this number again. He took an unsteady breath, fussing with the keychain in his pocket and brushing over Kairi’s shell necklace. He pulled out the keychain and held up one trinket to his lips and whispered, “I’ll be on the way shortly.”

He wished he could actually hear Sora and Terra reply. He rubbed the bugged charm to try and cling to the memory of Sora putting it on with a kiss and a hug and so many words of encouragement. He quietly put it back in his pocket when the cab rolled up.

“Ansem?” He asked.

“The one and only.” Xehanort almost got into the cab, but Ansem held up a hand, “Hold up, this time isn’t on the house. You gotta work your way back up.”

“Right...” Xehanort hesitantly got out his wallet and a couple hundred munny. The cab ride was tense and silent. Xehanort kept going over his words, reactions, battle plans. Ansem kept taking an erratic route, and Xehanort had a feeling Ansem felt he was being followed. He was, but that aside it was hard to tell.

It was a blur. A blur of panic and turmoil. He was heading back, and no one knew what was going to transpire. It was funny how clearly he remembered his first ride with Ansem. Arranged by his father to introduce him to this life. He wanted to go home and ended up somewhere that became a second home.

“So, you came back.”

Xehanort shook his head, blinking. He didn’t realize where he was. Sitting in a plush armchair only a table-length away from his grandfather.

He looked away, “Yes... I did.”

“So, your little toy wasn’t fun anymore?”

Xehanort clenched his fist beneath the table, “He broke.”

His grandfather’s eyes narrowed into slits of malice, “Broke? Well, I hope you did the breaking. A piece of scum who managed to lead my dear grandson astray deserves such a fate.”

Xehanort was staring at his lap. “Of course.” He heard his grandfather stand up and pace through the silence as thick as stone. He didn’t want to look up. This was a bad sign.

Sora, meanwhile, kept the bulky headset tight on his head. Terra said something but he didn’t hear it. He didn’t want to hear anything Terra had to say. He wanted to hear something besides ominous footsteps and Xehanort’s breaths. Something beside how quiet he was and the subtle tremor. Nothing was alright on Xehanort’s end and he was the one who convinced him this would be okay-

Terra yanked the headphones off, “Kid, relax.”

“Terra!” Sora whined, “Please! Give that back!”

Terra rubbed Sora’s shoulder, “Not until you relax, okay? I’m listening to the same stuff as you and right now there is no reason to panic. When there is, you know the word Xehanort agreed on.”

“There might be reason to say ‘Paopu’ soon...” Sora whispered as he put the headset back on.

Xeha was wondering the same. He hoped Terra and Sora could pick up enough on their end to understand when assistance would be needed. This was a subtle, subtle game and every piece needed to have everything smoothly oiled.

His shoulders rose when one of them was weighed down with a firm, bony hand, “Welcome back, but first...” Xeha was shoved down onto the table in front of him, and then his arm was painfully twisted around his back. “Don’t ever do that again.”

“Yes. Yes of course.” Xeha gasped. His head swam a bit from the impact.

Sora was losing it, “We have to go in! W-we have to Terra-”

“Not yet.” Terra muttered, “He’ll be fine. Just forced against the table we don’t need to worry.”

“You sound so damn sure of that!” Sora snapped back with tears welling in his eyes.

Terra scoffed. He then muttered, “You know we’re lucky the higher-ups even let us do this.”

“Are you sure?” Master Xehanort asked slowly, twisting Xeha’s arm more and more with each word, “Because I did not spend all these years only for you to think about running away for some creature you thought you loved.”

Xeha felt the urge to scream and yell at his grandfather, but not now. Not now that would come in time. “Of course.” His voice was tight. His arm wasn’t broken yet but it sure felt like it. 

“Don’t ever disgrace me like that again,”

“Of course.” Maybe he should say it.

“Don’t run from me again,”

“Never.” He wouldn’t be surprised if another check up yielded cracks in his bones.

“And you will absolutely not disobey me again.”

“I won’t.”

“Now look me in the eye and tell me you never loved whoever the hell that piece of trash was.”

Xehanort stared at the wall a moment. Sora would hear this. With uncanny infliction in a perfect lie. He bit down on his cheek and closed his eyes to relish the pain he was in. Gold finally met gold, “I never even entertained the thought. I’m miles happier with you than I would ever be with... whoever it was.”

“Good.”

He exhaled when he was released, then slowly drew himself back up with a submissive gaze as his grandfather sat back down. He sighed and rubbed his sore arm. He was free now, off the hook, but he still needed what he came here for.

“So, junior,” the wizened man sighed, “you need me for something, I can tell. You’re antsy.”

Terra started recording what was being said. Sora was burying himself in his seat and crying.

“Shh... He didn’t mean any of it and you know that.” Terra whispered with a gentle pat.

Sora nodded. He knew. It was now just easier to imagine a moment when it would mean something.

“Twelve years ago... There was a murder.”

“There’s been a lot of murder in twelve years.” Master Xehanort replied, “I know much, but specifics are only worth it on these if they’re interesting.”

“A high school student...?” Xeha didn’t know where his voice went. It suddenly went up as if questioning when he was going to say more and now it had just seized up. He suddenly registered his foot wiggling up and down at sonic speeds.

“There’s been a couple.”

“F-found in a river.”

Sora was ready to scream. Xehanort never stuttered like this. Terra held out his arm, and Sora lurched forward to yell into his chest for the time being.

“Student found in a river twelve years ago...” Master Xehanort seemed to be recalling the incident.

“His name was Ventus, I believe.” Xeha prodded a little more.

Xehanort grinned, “Ah, yes... That was a funny one. Not quite us.”

“Not quite them?!” Terra hissed, “What the fuck is up with that?! You either killed Ven or you didn’t!”

It was Sora’s turn to cool down their end of things, “Terra calm down-”

“It’s a fucking game to him!” Terra continued seething with rage.

“What do you mean?” Xeha finally asked. He figured something funny was up with that case.

“Ventus, found in a river...” Master Xehanort nodded, “Ah, I remember just before that. A man came up, offering his services. We turned him down, wanting to keep our numbers small and close knit and full of only the best.”

Xeha’s eyes narrowed. What did this have to do with anything?

“He went off and had too much whiskey. A hissy fit worthy of a child. I did not hear of him for a week, and we presumed he fell off the face of the earth until the boy was found bearing a pattern that was distinctly ours.”

“It was a call out-” Xeha said before he stopped himself.

Master Xehanort glared at him a moment, then resumed, “Indeed. A calling card of the most gruesome degree.” The old man grinned, “We were quite impressed.”

Terra’s hands dug into the steering wheel. His teeth gnashed themselves a millimeter shorter.

“Impressed how?” Xeha asked, “Is the culprit still around?”

“It was at this point we knew he was a hired hand we needed.” Master Xehanort chuckled, “And you’ve asked for his services on more than one occasion.”

Xeha blinked. “Xigbar?” He asked.

Xehanort nodded, “He’s proven himself ruthless and invaluable to our group, time and time again. Killing the boy was the first piece of evidence we had of this. While he didn’t use a gun that time, his marksmanship has been uncannily useful.”

Terra got out of his car and was quietly loading his gun. Charge in, arrest, easy enough. The hard part would be not murdering people in return. Sora leaned over, “Terra-”

“Now we have what we need and we can go in.” Terra cut Sora off.

Sora looked at the gun, then Terra, “Keep in mind we’re lucky to even be doing this-”

“Do you want Xeha to get out of there or not?! Do you want there to be some justice or not?!” Terra snapped.

Sora let him go, “Okay, but be careful.”

“Radio’s there if you need me.” Terra muttered before walking off.

“So Xigbar...” Xeha need a moment to let it sink in, “Murdered Ventus to get your attention?”

“You know the man, sociopathic with an inferiority complex.” Xehanort said. “He wants attention and recognition for his cold heart.”

“Precisely why I don’t enjoy his company.” Xeha whispered. He’d been in the presence of murderers, but knowing this one made his stomach churn. The motive was flimsy, and seemingly more fun than anything, knowing how Xigbar treated most of his assignments.

“Now, junior, I have something else for you.” Master Xehanort rose again. Xeha felt his heart sinking. He was waved along. He timidly walked up to his grandfather.

“Goodnight.”

There was a sharp pain and Xeha buckled.

“For the record, I don’t believe you’re really back.”

He was getting dragged.

“And if there’s one thing I abhor it’s a traitor of one’s own flesh and blood.”

“Paopu...” Xeha murmured. He was ready to pass out. He’d forgotten how well his grandfather had kept in shape.

He was yanked to his feet, “Whatever you’re going to do, I have your little friend right here and ready to take your bullets.”

What was that damned light? Xeha blinked and winced and wished his hands were free to shield his face.

“Xeha?” Terra gasped. Xeha’s head finally somewhat cleared, and he swore. Not good. Terra said firmly, “Master Xehanort, you are under arrest for charges of drug trafficking, theft, bribery, assault, manslaughter, and several other crimes. Let your grandson go and put your hands up.”

“Why would I?” Xehanort asked, “You’re only one person.”

“Not afraid to shoot.” Terra said.

“Go ahead.” Master Xehanort scoffed.

Terra did so, letting the shot hit a few feet away from the two of them. “I’m sorry, Xeha, but if I have to break a few eggs here to get the omelette right...” Terra edged closer. Xeha sighed. He’d rather Terra get things squared away without the gun, but he understood the point. 

Sora was probably running right for this mess, knowing him. Or maybe driving the police car like a maniac to get attention and help.

There was a screech of tires behind him. Terra’s light bobbed, and Xeha could barely see his expression loosening. His grandfather turned. And then he was suddenly on his face, grandfather right on top, and on top of him was a police car with lights flashing. What was up with his face meeting hard surfaces today?

The door opened, “Xeha?! X-Xeha! Xehanort where are you I heard you say the safeword!”

Sora’s shoes dashed past.

“Sora you ran him over!”

“I ran the guy you had a gun pointed at over-”

“He was holding Xeha hostage!”

“W-what?!”

Xeha saw Terra kneel down, “You okay?”

The light was thankfully out of his eyes, at least. It was angled at the ground, illuminating Terra’s confused and relieved smile. “... peachy.” Xeha muttered while his grandfather began swearing.

Sora rushed over. He had a gash on his forehead and he was blinking too much. He reached for Xeha’s cheek under the car, “Oh, God, honey I’m so sorry-”

“BACK OFF FROM MY GRANDSON-”

“SHUT UP NOT LIKE YOU TREATED HIM ANY BETTER.” Sora yelled back. He then said gentler, “Xeha are you okay?”

“Going to be bruised tomorrow.” Xeha sighed, “But I should be well.” He managed to get a hand free, and held it out.

Sora smiled and took it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _TFW YOUR CHARACTER IS FUCKING INSANE SORA WHAT THE HELL_


	13. Flicker

“Now you are gonna stay in bed all day today.” Sora said. Xehanort grunted. He wouldn’t mind that but that meant Sora was going to be running around like crazy and- “Xeha, you’ve been doing that for me, it’s time I did that for you.”

Xehanort didn’t disagree. “Sora, you...”

Sora lingered in the doorway, “Hmm?”

“You weren’t using your cane yesterday...” Xehanort murmured.

Sora blinked, then looked at his hand. “I-I didn’t...” He smiled uncertainly, “That bad?”

“It’s the loveliest thing I can imagine.” Xehanort replied. His own smile faded when Sora rubbed his back. “Still a little sore?”

“Bearable. Don’t worry ok? I’ll live.” Sora walked back over and tucked Xehanort in some more, “I ran you over yesterday and miraculously managed to keep you away from the tires and okay.”

“I wonder why.” Xehanort chuckled. He rolled over and left Sora to his own devices. He was right about being bruised- he felt like a fruit that had gotten tossed around in its crate. He supposed an entire day in bed wouldn’t kill him. Sora returned and snuggled up next to him with some cereal.

“Sorry,” he shrugged, “don’t know how to cook.”

Xehanort shrugged back, “It’s fine.”

“Sorry for running you over.”

“I’ll be fine.”

Sora got up and left with their dishes. The sink hissed shortly after. Xehanort curled up in bed with a weary sigh and tried to get back to sleep. Xehanort’s phone buzzed, and he scooted over to check it. “A new text, hm?” He murmured.

[To: Unknown number]

[???: Do not think you are any more righteous than we are.]

Xehanort’s brow furrowed. He was about to set it back before another message cropped up:

[???: Just one incident of heroism does not undo years of involvement.]

[Who are you?]

[???: I’m sad.]  
[???: How could you not recognize your own father?]

Xehanort’s eyes widened. Then they narrowed, and he angrily set his thumbs to work.

[it’s TEXT]  
[How could I ever know it’s you?]

Xehanort dropped the phone at the candid picture of his father, and swore.

“Xeha? Everything okay?” Sora called over his dishwashing.

“Fine. Perfectly fine.” Xehanort replied. He looked at the picture again, the typed some more.

[Picture.]  
[Big deal.]  
[leave me alone]

[???: Very well then.]  
[???: Just remember that you are not free of sin]

Xehanort slammed the phone on his dresser. He then curled back up under his blanket. He kicked it off when he got too hot. He was just about to drop into the sweet lull of slumber when he felt Sora curl around him. Sora brought the blanket back over them and rested his cheek against Xehanort’s. “You alright?” He asked.

Xehanort rolled over so Sora could lay on top of him better, “I’m fine. Just a very annoying person found my number.”

Sora nuzzled himself under Xehanort’s chin, “Okay.” Their fingers idly wrapped betwixt and around each other. Sora indulged in Xehanort’s heartbeat. Xehanort reduced his thoughts to just Sora. Slowly the two fell asleep.

A knock stirred them both. Sora yawned. Xehanort shook his head and went back to sleep. Sora giggled and leaned forward to give the sleepyhead a quick peck. Xehanort instantly woke back up, prompting Sora to ask, “You awake, now?”

“Well now I am.” Xehanort sighed.

Sora rolled over, “Well, come on, if we got guests!”

Xehanort rolled onto his stomach and grunted into his pillow.

Sora opened the door and blinked at the afternoon sun. “H-hey! Sorry to keep you waiting I was asleep!” He grinned, “Terra! Aqua!”

The couple smiled back as Sora ushered them in. Terra had a simple cake in his arms. “We found the culprit!” was hastily scrawled on top in icing.

“Xigbar’s behind bars. We’re finally gonna have something to stop worrying about.” Terra’s voice shook with joy. “We’re gonna finally get some closure.”

“Well then, we do have to celebrate!” Sora agreed. He began clearing off the coffee table to make room for the cake, then rummaged through the fridge and found a few bottles of soda. He set them down and grabbed as many glasses as he could hold. “Xeha! Xeha come on we’re having an impromptu party!”

Aqua looked back, “Really, Sora? You ran him over-”

“By accident!” Sora insisted as he began filling up the glasses.

“He did end up helping me arrest the other Xehanort.” Terra nodded a bit as he drank his coke. “But then again, Sora you should help him rest.”

“Too late.” Xehanort walked in and collapsed on the couch with ungainly bedhead and squinted eyes. He yawned, “We all know the party isn’t official until I walk in.” He smiled smugly at the laughter, and bent forward to get his own glass, “So, what is the occasion?”

“Ventus is getting some justice.” Sora smiled.

Xehanort grinned right back, and tapped his glass to Sora’s, “I suppose that is a good reason to wake.”

“I’ve never felt happier.” Terra said. Realizing who he was sitting next to, he hastily said, “P-please don’t take that wrong Aqua-”

“I’m not.” Aqua said, “You have a lot of pain that’s finally coming to terms with being solved. I’m pretty happy, too.” She looked at Xehanort, “For someone who got run over, though-”

“Sora managed to keep the wheels off of me.” Xehanort chuckled, “I just hit the ground. My grandfather took more of the impact.”

“You’re strong.” Aqua said with a smile.

“Well you run a dojo.” Xehanort replied, “You’re no slouch yourself.”

“No I am not.” Aqua agreed.

Sora leaned forward a bit, “You... don’t drink soda? You haven’t touched your glass...”

“No I don’t. Not very good for you, honestly, and I never really liked the carbonated aspect.” Aqua shrugged. She watched Sora and Terra leave to get stuff to carve the cake with. She looked at Xehanort, “So, how’s Sora?”

“He’s fine, as far as I can tell.” Xehanort replied.

Aqua nodded, “Yeah, he seems pretty carefree.”

“You seem awfully reserved.” Xehanort noted.

Aqua was silent a moment. She then said, “I am. My father ingrained that into me.” She blew up a strand of hair, “Just, taught me that acting all dignified would be better for me. Can’t blame him, since it helps others take me seriously.”

“Why wouldn’t they?” Xehanort sipped his drink.

“Delinquent hair, I’m a woman.” Aqua said it so offhandedly one could take her stance on the matter as indifferent, but there was a sudden softness in her gaze that said otherwise. “People are really judgemental at times. I’ve learned not to care.”

“If they don’t, kick their ass.” Xehanort jokingly suggested.

Aqua laughed. “That I can do, but I might get in trouble.”

“Then you’re missing the point.” Xehanort couldn’t help but smile, though.

“Cake for all!” Sora and Terra said triumphantly together as they cut out the first couple slices. Xehanort took his slice with an appreciative smile. It was vanilla, his favorite. Terra began stuffing his face, and Sora seemed to start an unspoken agreement that they were engaged in an eating contest. Aqua and Xehanort looked on in amusement.

The sliding door to the balcony suddenly opened, Kairi running in with her wings barely folded. “Xehanort! X-Xeha I heard you got run-” she stopped upon noticing Terra and Aqua, “... over.”

Terra swallowed his cake and coughed. “S-she... Wings...” Aqua had only a mute expression of shock.

Kairi folded her wings, “W-who? No wait, you’re Terra and Aqua.” She held out her hand, “Well, now you know. I’m Kairi, a messenger angel under the charge of Gabriel.”

Neither of them accepted her hand. They looked at Sora and Xehanort. Terra began stammering, “Y-you-”

“They know me, yeah.” Kairi answered. “Sora and I are very good friends.”

Sora shrugged, “Don’t act so surprised.” He then winked, “She’s not the only angel you know.”

“Where are your wings then?” Aqua finally asked. She seemed to regret the outburst when both Sora and Xehanort flinched. Sora drank his soda. Xehanort swirled his. Kairi fussed with her hair. 

Xehanort slowly stood, set his glass down, and held up his hand. He walked to their closet, rummaged through it a bit, and then brought back the package that still held Sora’s wings. He had neatly tucked it closed, and there had been ample time for dust to gather. He never wanted to see this box again. Never. His eyes were stinging, and he took a deep breath.

Sora held his hands gently, “Think we could show them?”

Xehanort handed him the box, and Sora gently pulled out his wings. One after the other the white, glorious mass of feathers came out, pristine as ever as if Sora had never removed them in the first place. Kairi turned away, covering her mouth, sick from the sight. Xehanort quietly arranged the wings behind Sora as if they were just tucked up and not in use. He rubbed the feathers, wondering if Sora would ever feel such a gentle touch again. Of course the answer- never -was staring at him right in the face.

Sora gently wrapped one wing around him. It was heavy, but a reassuring heavy. He could remember when he could do this without the need of a hand. What he did forget was the reassuring heft, the softness of his feathers. He could barely remember flying.

“Why haven’t they...?” Xehanort couldn’t finish his question through the tears welling in his throat. He’d rather choke then let them through right now.

“Last lil bit of angel magic, I guess.” Sora murmured, transfixed by a iridescent feather. He honestly wasn’t surprised by how they hadn’t decayed yet. They never would, he hoped. He was surprised to be hugged by Aqua. She didn’t even say anything, just held him tight.

Xehanort watched them, wanting to be the one holding Sora but ultimately deciding he wasn’t worthy.

...

The gathering dwindled away after the wings. Terra wanted to leave the cake, but Sora insisted that Terra should take it with him. Xehanort and Sora put the wings back as they were, and Kairi finally started speaking to them again after that. She said goodbye and left. Sora retired to bed.

Xehanort took a shower, trying to get himself undone. He needed to relax. He didn’t know if tears or water was dripping off his cheeks and he didn’t want to care. He pressed his forehead against the cold tile. Even disembodied Sora’s wings were a beautiful sight and now they just made him want to vomit. He shook, trembled, sighed.

When he was walking back to his room to join Sora in bed, he paused to assess the dim livingroom. There was one shadow sitting on the couch. A warm, bitter, heavy scent met his nostrils, and it was one he recognized. He also knew the shape of the silhouette, “Sora? What on earth are you doing smoking?”

The shadow laughed. The voice was too deep to be Sora’s but Xehanort swore that was who it was.

“Sora? I’m not Sora...” They replied. “It’s kinda cute you think I am, though.”

“Well now I know you’re not.” Xehanort said. “Who are you?”

The young man waved his hand, and a lamp lit itself. He looked almost identical to Sora, but his features were too gaunt, too mean. His hair was black and his eyes were gold and his skin was whiter than anything Xehanort had known, almost to the point of being scarily translucent. He grinned, and lazily took a drag of his cigarette. He looked Xehanort over before breathing out his smoky words, “Wouldn’t you love to know.”

“Who are you?” Xehanort demanded. He tried to ignore the fact he had only a towel on.

The young man stood and walked over. He blew smoke in Xehanort’s face, “Not telling. Not yet.”

Xehanort coughed, but took guilty pleasure in the smoke. It felt like decades since he had a good one. He then sternly reminded himself that Sora didn’t like it and that it would kill him faster and that’s why he quit-

“Want one?” The stranger held up a cigarette, “I know you want one. Who would know? Just one. Wouldn’t kill you today.”

Xehanort looked at it, then brushed it away. He began yelling, “GE-”

“Shhh...” Xehanort’s lips were pressed into silence by a single white line, “You’ll wake the baby...”

Xehanort glared at him, “Sora is not-”

“The way you treat him? Might as well be.”

“He’s hurt-”

“If you _pushed_ him he would’ve recovered faster-”

“He would be in unbearable pain-”

“Little pain didn’t hurt anyone,” the young man’s eyes glinted, “Xeha.”

Xehanort had had enough, “GET OUT!”

The stranger grinned. The lights flickered, and he was gone. Xehanort stared at the still lit cigarette in his hand, wondering how it got there. The embers on the end burned like the young man’s eyes, and it unnerved Xehanort to think a face like Sora’s- so open, so kind -could be filled with such a mocking, twisted malice.

“Xehanort!” Sora yelled, turning on the lights.

Xehanort looked at Sora and realized what it looked like, “S-Sora please-”

“I told you to stop that! And you were doing so good!” Sora continued, grabbing the cigarette and extinguishing it.

“Sora... Do you...” Xehanort tried talking but he couldn’t. He watched Sora throw the cigarette away. “Sora do you know anyone who looks like you?”

Sora paused. Something was going hundreds of miles an hour behind his blue eyes. “No.” He finally said, “I did know someone, but they’re...” Sora walked back and hugged Xehanort and kissed his cheek, “I wouldn’t worry, okay? He should know better than to mess with us.”

“Right...” Xehanort murmured. Sora dragged him along to bed, and Xehanort could barely entertain the thought of sleep with the questions he had and figured went better off unsaid. “Sora-”

“Did you see a guy who looked like me?” Sora asked.

“Yes.”

“Don’t listen to him.” Sora said. Remarkably curt and stiff.

Xehanort continued probing, “... Why?”

“Because I said so. He’s part of a life you and I both know has been left behind. It’s not important, and just don’t listen to him.” Sora snapped. He then sighed, “I’ll tell Kairi tomorrow. Have a good rest.”

Xehanort had one more question, “Sora, what was his name?”

“... Vanitas.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with Master Xehanort squared away we turn to a more... interesting conflict.


	14. A Nusiance

He was back the next night. Sprawled on the couch like it was his, waiting for Xehanort.

Xehanort’s eyes narrowed, “You’re not welcome here.” He pointed, “The door is that way, let yourself out before I kick you out.”

“Ohhh, you’re here again...” Vanitas whined. He flicked a cigarette between his fingers in an unreal flourish and when he flicked it back it vanished. Like a coin only infinitely more impossible judging by how fast it came and went.

“It’s my apartment.” Xehanort hissed, “Now get out!”

Vanitas suddenly looked right at Xehanort. He could feel his flesh peeling and burning away because of that gaze, “But you’re so much fun to hang around with.”

Xehanort bit down on his lip a moment before sternly saying, “The feeling isn’t mutual. Leave, Vanitas.”

The mock cordiality in Vanitas’s expression dropped into a terrifying glimpse of anger. Something _very_ wrong and filled with fire so intense it went blue and white. “He told you my name, huh?” He said, slowly, bringing the mask back up just as carefully as anger flickered back to an unwelcome bonfire. “Killjoy as always, huh Sora?”

“He told me I shouldn’t listen to you. Now get out of my apartment or I’ll...” Xehanort looked around, then grabbed a folding chair, “I’ll hit you.”

Vanitas laughed. Loudly. A shrieking guffaw that was less mirth and happiness and more claws trickling down your back like spider limbs taking their time to relish a good meal. It took Vanitas a good minute to stop laughing. When he did, he watched Xehanort with the burning gaze once more, “You think you can hurt me?”

He stood, backing up, opening the balcony door, “You’re a riot to be around.”

Vanitas leaned out and he was gone.

Xehanort tried to ignore the incident.

It was another night when Vanitas returned. Xehanort walked out to the living room, about to go on a grocery run, when he stopped at the sight on the couch. Wreathed in smoke, Vanitas grinned at him, “Hello.”

“Go away.” Xehanort said, turning away.

Vanitas stood and walked over, “Oh come now, I know you want something from me.”

“I don’t.” Xehanort replied. He was then turned around to the sight of Sora, face flushed, eyes lidded with lust.

“Oh Xeha...” He moaned, “I’ve been such a bad little angel...”

Xehanort looked for Vanitas, leaning away from Sora’s touch. “You’re not acting like yourself, Sora.” He said flatly.

“Xeha...! Oh quit teasing me!” Sora whined, getting closer. His hands grabbed at Xehanort’s face, desperate, “Xeha please I want you- no I need you so bad...” His wings came out, hovering around them, begging to be touched and held. Sora moved in for a kiss.

Xehanort shoved him away, “QUIT THAT!”

“Sora” grinned. He dissolved away into Vanitas, and then he was gone.

Xehanort- after a bit of research -started leaving salt where he could.

Vanitas still returned.

“Salt isn’t a very nice thing to do, Xeha.” Vanitas said, stopping at the salt line.

Xehanort- who had been watching the television with the now fast asleep Sora -jumped. He glared at Vanitas, “How many times do I have to say you’re not welcome before you get the message?”

Vanitas shook his head. Xehanort finally noticed the extra shadow was not darkness, but a pair of charcoal-black wings that seemed to soak in the light. In one angle they had feathers charred to a crisp. In the other they seemed to be leathery and heavy. He smirked, “Oh come on, you and I are friends now-”

“Calling you an acquaintance would be generous.” Xehanort hissed. His hand hovered protectively around Sora, “Now leave us be.”

“But I have so much,” Vanitas waved his hand over his face and once again it was Sora’s, blushing and begging, “I want to give you so much, Xeha.” He held up his hand with a husky, desperate whisper, “Use me...”

Xehanort glared at Vanitas. “Y-you dare..." He sputtered. He gave "Sora" a guilty once over- noting the unzipped jeans and slightly untucked shirt -before growling, "Get out.”

Vanitas’s face returned with another wave of his hand, grinning. He held up both, “But Xeha... I have just the thing you want.”

Xehanort stared at Vanitas. He did nothing but hold out his hands. His smile remained, triumphant, scornful, filled with insane glee. He nodded down at Sora, still out cold on the couch. Xehanort didn’t trust anything about Vanitas, and he looked down to see if Sora was still okay. His jaw dropped.

Sora’s wings were back. 

Not only that they were on the real Sora, nestled between his back and the couch and softly reflecting the light of the television. Xehanort reached down to stroke them to see if they were really real. Sora hummed and giggled in his sleep at the touch, and his wings shifted around. And then the wings started dissolving away into small particles of light.

Xehanort looked back up at Vanitas.

He was grinning wildly with blood pouring down his nose.

“Just have to ask and pay the price, Xeha.”

...

Xehanort didn’t know what to do. He had the opportunity to give Sora his wings back, and the mere thought of it sent him spiraling. Sora with his wings, not bound to this dreary world and free. Sora okay. Sora happy. But the price- though he didn’t know what exactly it was -was going to be steep. It was that part he was struggling with. Logically, the price would be repayment for what he drove Sora to and was worth it, but also logically Vanitas was playing on a scale larger than Xehanort could wrap his head around and this price was going to be too steep for him to pay.

He was fussing with the dishes while mulling this all over. He dried a plate while running in circles- again -at what was the best course. He wasn’t going to ask for Sora’s assistance or advice on this, either. Sora didn’t tell him about losing the wings, he wasn’t going to tell him about getting them back. He was off on errands, anyways.

Xehanort raised his head when he heard things crashing and heavy footsteps. He put his dish down and investigated. A boy- with dazzling blue eyes and barely combed blond hair -had ran into the couch. He sheepishly grinned, his eyes darting about, “Ah, sorry, t-trying to get away from the cops.”

Xehanort’s eyebrow lifted. A really bad liar had stumbled in, apparently. “I don’t believe that.”

The boy stood taller, “W-well... Okay, no, but I am investigating something.” He looked at the salt line he had disturbed. The boy squatted, blinking. He picked up a few grains and tasted it, then said, “Well... that’s a... waste of salt.”

Xehanort watched the boy stand up and put his hand in his cargo pants. Xehanort then read his shirt, which was predominantly kelly green with a small turtle outlined in white saying... moo? Xehanort puzzled over what sort of "humor" decreed a turtle should say "moo". The boy fiddled with his checkered wristband, and a few silver rings glinted on his hands. He then put his hands behind his head, “Look, I-I know you’re not too happy about me breaking in-”

“The door never opened.” Xehanort said.

“I-it did!” The boy protested, “Y-you just didn’t hear it! I mean, yeah, I randomly broke in, but no biggie, right? N-not like you could’ve heard the door from the kitchen anyways!”

Xehanort’s face was flat with accusation. He then sighed and gestured for the boy to sit down, “Look, I’ve heard crazier. Just tell me why you’re here.”

The boy bit his lip. He continued fiddling with his hands. He plopped down on the couch awkwardly. Xehanort sighed and waved his hand, “Well?”

“Just...” The boy said. He smiled awkwardly, “Is it okay if I don’t say why I’m here?”

Xehanort did a mild double take. That face... He knew that face. When he was young, 11, just a glance of the newspaper. A few day prior to that signs asking where this missing child was in the grocery store. He would ask, and only get an indifferent “that does not matter” in reply.

“Ventus?” He asked.

The boy jolted, then tried to hide behind his shoulders. “Ventus?” He bitterly chuckled, “W-who’s Ventus-”

“You are.” Xehanort insisted. “I-I’ve never met you but I recognize your face-”

“Fine! I’m Ven!” He sighed. He pressed one eye into the palm of his hand and waved the other around, “I-I’m dead, yeah, great, whoop-dee-do!” He folded his arms in front of him and pouted.

Xehanort shook his head, “No need to be so dramatic.”

“No one’s supposed to know...” Ventus whined. “I’ve completely blown it! Michael is gonna have my head-”

“The angel Michael?” Xehanort asked.

Ventus jumped. His eyes were wide, and suddenly they narrowed, “H-how-”

“My boyfriend, Sora. Used to be a part of your crowd.” Xehanort explained.

Ventus relaxed considerably at the name. “He really did it...” He murmured. Slowly his own pair unfolded- tawny and fluffy, speckled with white. He stood and they flapped around a bit, but made no noise. He began pacing around in circles, his wings awkwardly fumbling around. Nowhere near as controlled as Sora had been. One of them knocked over a glass sculpture and it shattered.

Xehanort ground his teeth a bit before growling, “Ventus, you’ve been dead for twelve years and-”

“Sorry! Sorry!” Ventus waved his hand up and the sculpture went back to how it was, as if it hadn’t even felt a whisper of Ven’s wings. “I’ve never really gotten used to them. Not yet. Michael keeps saying I will, but twelve years is seconds up there.” He sat down and steepled his hands in front of his face in a classic thinking pose.

“I’m hunting down a demon.” He said after a long moment of silence.

Xehanort did a double take. They sent this oaf to hunt down a demon? A boy who couldn’t keep his wings in one place and could barely lie? He settled into the couch, “Honestly, they need better management up there. First Sora falls in love with the person he was supposed to fix, and they send you in to deal with a demon.”

“Hey! I take offense to that!” Ventus yelled. To emphasize his wings fully extended (also without a sound) to knock over another piece of furniture.

“VENTUS!” Xehanort yelled back. In response, Ventus jumped off the couch and ran around to clean his mess and the resulting others. Eventually Xehanort began shoving him out, “Look, Ventus, you’re lovely company, but if you're going to wreck my apartment then you should leave.”

“But wait!” Ventus whined, “I-I-if you’re using salt you’re getting visited by someone! Who is it?!”

“An annoyance I can deal with.” Xehanort replied before shoving Ven out the door and over the balcony. Ven screamed briefly before his wings kicked in and he landed unsteadily on his feet and eventually his face. Xehanort blinked, and leaned over, “Ven? Are you alright?”

Ventus rolled over and sat up, glaring at Xehanort, “RUDE.”

Xehanort shook his head, “Using my right to kick you out.”

“STILL RUDE!” Ventus yelled. He then jumped and flapped his wings. He did it again. And again. Maybe a few more times. When he was finally airborne he hovered shakily in front of Xehanort, “Look, I’m looking for a guy named Vanitas. If you see him, lemme know. Please. He’s hurt a lot of people.”

Xehanort looked Ventus over, then nodded, “Fine. I will.”

Ventus smiled, gave a little salute, and flew off.

Xehanort heard the door open, and he went back inside, “So, Sora, you won’t believe who just stopped by...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor Ven hasn't quite nailed the angel thing yet, lol ~~(his wings are barn owl wings because barn owls are cute)~~


	15. Meet Again

Of course Sora’s first thought was to invite Terra and Aqua over to meet Ven.

“Sora that’s absurd.” Xehanort sighed, “They both are willing to agree that Ventus is dead and to bring him back for them would be-”

“The best thing they’d ever get!” Sora finished for Xehanort. “They could see Ven again-”

“And find out that he hasn’t aged a bit, won’t be able to see them often or at all, and he’s hunting demons, apparently.”

Sora paused. He then giggled, “That’s actually pretty neat, though. You gotta admit.”

Xehanort sighed. Sora leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss, “Come on, Terra would be so happy.”

“And then heartbroken.” Xehanort muttered.

Sora got up, “Come on, we gotta try!”

“I think we should wait.” Xehanort urged softly, “We should think this through-”

“Come on Xeha, we just have to pull a couple of threads!” Sora insisted. He pulled those darling eyes into the most convincing beg yet, “Terra would be through the roof!”

Xehanort sighed. He then ruffled Sora’s hair and kissed his forehead, “Fine, but this was your idea.”

Sora grinned.

...

About a week later (a week for Xehanort of continued heckling by Vanitas) they agreed an abandoned airport a short drive away was the best spot to meet. Not a lot of people, plenty of room for Ven to show off what little flying he grasped. Sora bounced out to Terra and Aqua with Xehanort in tow, babbling excitedly about something. Xehanort sighed and decided to pretend he wasn’t there.

Sora, meanwhile, was looking around. “Hey!” He yelled, “You here?! Like we agreed?!”

Terra looked at Sora, “Of course we are, but I don’t get what this location has to do with-”

“Yeah I’m here!”

Terra stopped himself. He knew that voice. Aqua tilted her head at him, concerned. “Terra?”

Terra turned his head to an empty hangar, watching Ventus run out and soaking in every detail. 

Dusty vans in camo green with the rubber edging and sole golden and cracked. Cargo pants with pockets that would fill with sweets pick-pocketed from the candy jar at home or the unsuspecting student, the knees worn from sliding around like some classic rock star as a voice gratingly sang to anything without a care, jokingly accompanied by how its owner would be the next best boyband. That stupid emerald shirt with the stupid, goofy turtle that mooed that they liked to call Mickey. The lucky wristband checkered black and “I’ve worn this everywhere and it’s stained with coke and frappuccino but I won’t take it off” white. The class ring he’d gotten too early that never fit quite right alongside the polished rings his peers would leave abandoned in the hallways that were picked up and hoarded like a magpie’s treasure.

Ventus skidded to a stop. He knew this guy from somewhere. After swaying a bit he ultimately ended up leaning back and sharing an intense staring contest. Gray eyes, chiseled jaw, brown hair. Something about those rang a bell. But he didn’t know Mrs. Blue-hair over there. Maybe he felt something nostalgic with the earthy color palette on the guy. Something about when he was alive...

“Ven...” Terra finally said, a few tears rolling over. His voice cracked, and Ven blinked.

“Terra?” He asked.

“VEN!” Terra began running forward, arms outstretched.

“Terra!” Ventus held up his hands. His wings flew out with a subtle poof to them, like a cat with its fur on edge.

“Ven?!” It was Terra’s turn to be confused, and he stopped.

Xehanort looked at Sora with the best “I told you so” look he could muster. Sora glared back, then went back to watching Terra and Ven with worry.

Terra?” Ventus had his hands out defensively, and his eyes were wide with uncertainty.

“Ventus...!” Terra held out his own hands, pleading.

“Terra...” Ventus shook his head. His wings began folding around himself.

“Ven!” Terra sighed.

“Dorks.” Aqua interjected. Terra and Ventus looked at her. Ven giggled first, followed by Terra. Sora smiled, and looked at Xehanort. Xehanort rolled his eyes, silently admitting he was at least a little wrong.

Terra walked forward, “Ven... Ventus you’re really...” His hand pressed against Ven’s, “You’re here.”

“I-I guess I am...” Ventus agreed. He smiled, “You’re... big.”

“Haven’t changed a bit.” Terra smiled. He covered his mouth, “S-sorry... I...”

Ventus nervously laughed, “It’s fine. You haven’t seen me in forever.” He turned to Aqua, “Who’s this?”

“I’m Aqua. I’m his girlfriend and I taught him kung fu while you were... up there, I guess.” Aqua introduced herself with a firm handshake.

“Girlfriend?” Ventus asked. He looked at Terra with a smirk, “I thought you weren’t a ladies man.”

“I’m not!” Terra protested.

Ventus smiled more earnestly, and his wings started moving aside. He then earnestly asked, “R-remember when we did the thing-?”

“To Mr. Wallace or-?!”

“No, no, Mr. Fair!”

“Oh, when we got him hooked up with Ms. Gainsborough?!”

“YEAH! A-and aw man then there was that time when Mr. Strife and that moody Pre-Cal teacher had an EPIC food fight in the cafeteria-”

“Cloud VS. Sephiroth! I remember that! Man you were only a freshman!”

“Ms. Lockhart was untouchable though-”

“Hell yeah she was. Ran gym and the ladies’s sports with an iron fist and a smile.”

Aqua asked, “So, what have you been doing, Ventus?”

Sora smiled at Terra and Ventus getting back into their old swing of things and then learning about Ven’s adventures. He failed to notice Xehanort slinking off and going around the empty hangar. He needed some time alone to think. Still puzzling over Vanitas and Ven was an unhelpful reminder.

He leaned against the rusty sheet of iron that passed for a wall and sighed. He heard footsteps, then felt a pair of lips intertwine with his. He opened his eyes to see Sora, but pushed him away, “Are you...?” His voice trailed off. His first thought was Vanitas playing games with him again.

“Am I what?” Sora laughed. “I’m happy that we could get Terra and Ven back together.” Sora kissed him again, saying, “But I’m not happy you’re being such a grump about it.” He tasted like sugar and fruit. This was Sora, no doubt.

“Sorry...” Xehanort mumbled, “I just... Have a lot on my mind.”

Sora smiled, “Well, okay, but don’t think too hard, alright? Can’t have you spraining a gear in that big ol’ head of yours.”

No, he wouldn’t. Not with everything he was going to get done tonight.

He cupped Sora’s cheek, indulging in the smile and ready to see it a hundredfold more, “As you wish.”

...

The ladder from their apartment balcony to the alley below was rickety, a little dangerous, but honestly it was far from what Xehanort was about to do. He could barely see his feet as he placed a few candles in a circle and lit them with the hopes they wouldn’t flicker in the draft. He squinted in the dim light and tried to recall the design he had found after a stint of searching on his phone, and when he recalled to the best of his ability he double checked to make sure before sketching it between the candles in chalk.

He pocketed the white rod, backed up, and said solemnly, “Vanitas.” He repeated it under his breath, wondering if this was even going to work. The smoke from the candles congealed, gathering in a thick cloud that went from formless to somewhat human. Embers gathered into eyes, and slowly Vanitas walked out, pausing just at the edge of the circle of candles.

“What do you want, then?” He said with a twisted, triumphant grin.

Xehanort had been rehearsing his words all afternoon.

“Let’s talk business.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK SORA HAD THE TITLE OF KING DUMBASS SINCE RUNNING YOU OVER WITH A COP CAR XEHA BUT NOPE NOW IT'S YOU CONGRATS.


	16. Unequal Equilibrium

Sora mumbled and rolled over. He vaguely realized in his slumber that he was in some supposedly uncomfortable angle with his butt in the air and gangly arms trying and failing to wrap around his pillow, but honestly his eyes were still closed and his mouth was still only slightly ajar. Easy enough to slip back into sleep. He grumbled some more and slid down, then rolled over. His hand bumped against what must have been Xehanort, and with a sleepy smile he curled around his partner.

Man these blankets were warm. Sora yawned and cracked open his eyes with a pout. He snuggled up against Xehanort even closer with a small, intelligible mumble. He grabbed the blanket- which was oddly at his calves -and pulled it off. It was still too warm. Why was there so many blankets?

Deciding this was ultimately too much effort to get back to sleep, Sora rose like someone was dragging his head by a sole puppet string. He screwed up his face and stretched. He rolled his shoulders, trying to work out some weird feeling in his back. It felt like it hadn’t been stretched well in a while. He held his hands above his head and leaned. Not quite. He leaned the other way. He finally lowered his arms with an annoyed huff. Why wasn’t it working-

He froze.

In his peripheral...

Sora’s wings moved forward into better view, shimmering in the morning light.

Sora covered his mouth and stifled a yell. It trickled away into laughter. This couldn’t be real, could it? He waved his wings around, and started crying. It was real. He bounced to his feet, tucking his wings around him and holding them the best he could. So soft, just like he remembered. 

He ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Yes, they were back! They were back and he was bawling like a baby. He went to the closet and looked for the box they had kept them in, and it was empty. Yes, this was real. This was real.

“Xeha! XEHANORT!” Sora finally found his voice again. He skidded on his knees to Xehanort’s side, “Xeha my WINGS!” He tapped his fingers eagerly on the bed, waiting for Xehanort to get up. There was dark circles under his eyes as they opened, and he looked over Sora with some sort of dull interest.

“Wings...?” He mumbled.

Sora brushed his wings over Xehanort the best he could, “Wings!”

Xehanort blinked. He then smiled softly. “It worked...” He murmured.

Sora’s face fell like a penny from the top of the Empire State Building. He finally seemed to recognize Xehanort didn’t look too hot, and he quietly reached forward to hold Xehanort’s face in his hands, “Xeha?” His voice went from bursting with joy to whining with fear, “Xeha what are you talking about?”

Xehanort looked away, lips drawing into a relaxed frown.

“Xehanort what are you talking about?!” Sora demanded, pitch rising, desperation apparent.

He paused, eyes widening in the silence. 

An encounter with Vanitas. 

Wings were back.

“No...” Sora whispered. He shook his head, crying for a different reason, his voice rising, “Xehanort what the FUCK did you do?!” He kept shaking his head as if that would get all of these thoughts out, tears falling thick and fast, nose running, “Y-you IDIOT! You idiot my wings aren’t worth a one-way-ticket to Hell!”

Xehanort finally spoke up, holding out his hand, “Sora-”

“NO SHUT UP!” Sora yelled, “SHUT UP YOU JUST MADE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE-”

“Sora calm down, listen to me...” Xehanort brushed Sora’s cheek. It was slick and shiny from tears, and Sora’s big blue eyes were getting too puffy, too red. Sora sniffled, shaking his head, but before he could get a word in Xehanort crooned, “What were you going to do if I moved on? Where were you going to go if I ever lost my love for you?”

“T-that would never happen-” Sora insisted before Xehanort gently pressed a finger to his lips.

“Sora, I don’t know what romance exactly is to you,” Xehanort whispered, “but sometimes... Sometimes people fall apart.”

“We weren’t going to!” Sora snapped, “We weren’t!”

“What if we would?” Xehanort asked. “You bound yourself to this world when you could have been free-”

“I wouldn’t’ve been happy!” Sora said. He sobbed, “And now we’re gonna be split up the moment you’re gone...”

Xehanort sighed, and caressed Sora’s cheek, “And you will be free to move on.” Sora finally seemed to give up, and he placed his head on the mattress and continued bawling. Xehanort buried his hand in the brown spikes, beginning to cry himself. “This is my gift to you. I love you.” He murmured.

Sora made a bitter, choked laugh. “I love you, too.”

...

That day Xehanort decided he’d spend in bed. Sora had no argument, and so here he was, marathoning a show with a bowl of popcorn. His wings rested on the couch, angled around him almost like a nest. He honestly wasn’t even paying attention to the show. He hadn’t been for awhile. He was munching on the dregs of his bowl; not quite popped and not quite just kernel bits of popcorn. Hard to chew, yes, but somehow Sora felt like eating it anyways.

He got up, turned off the TV, and paced. He checked Kairi’s shrine and lit yet another candle and fussed with the yellow feather. He remembered debating with himself if this was a code red for an hour. He ultimately decided that Xehanort wasn’t dying immediately, so it wasn’t code red bad.

He looked at Xehanort’s slumbering form. Something seemed weaker about him, slumped, tired, sick, but of course he was. Sora should’ve recognized what he had done the moment he realized he had wings again.

Perhaps what pissed him off the most was that Vanitas did it. His fists balled just at the thought. His warning was apparently nothing to Xehanort. Well, maybe not nothing considering he held out for awhile. But why Vanitas? A sour taste filled Sora’s mouth and he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket. It was because of Vanitas he had the stupid thing.

“Jerk...” He muttered. Villain. Fiend. He loathed Vanitas.

Sora leaned over the balcony railing. He could see chalk marks in the alley below, likely the remnant of Xehanort’s actions. His hands were white against the black iron. Wind trickled through his feathers like cold water. It was a calm-ish feeling, but it didn’t reassure him or sate his wrath. 

He went back in and grabbed his walking stick. His fingers traced over the words, his lips silently mouthing each syllable. Sora was definitely going to cry again, but he didn’t want to. Crying wasn’t going to get Xehanort out of that deal. He doubted cutting his wings back off would either. He didn’t even know if he could survive that again. He understood the intention, but the act was one he couldn’t tolerate.

“Hey Sora!”

Sora lifted his head and walked outside to the balcony, “Ven?”

Ventus was standing next to the chalk circle and pouting up at him, but then he blinked. “Woah,” he gasped, “dude, you okay?”

Sora looked around, then said, “Not really,”

Ven’s eyes widened even more, “W-wait a sec! I-I heard you-! Your wings-! Y-you... Didn’t you cut them off?!” Sora sighed. Ventus’s brow furrowed, then he noticed the absence of Xehanort. He looked at the chalk circle. At Sora. Circle. Sora. “He DIDN’T!” Ventus yelled.

“He did,” Sora sighed. “Could you keep it down?” He jumped off and landed silently next to Ven, “Xeha needs some rest...”

Ventus apparently didn’t get the memo, “H-HE-” Sora plugged his mouth with his hand.

“Xeha needs rest, so shut up and talk like a normal kid, okay?” Sora hissed. He lowered his hand shortly after.

Ventus pouted a moment, then it turned into a much more mature frown, “I’m sorry... You know who he got?”

“Vanitas.” Sora replied.

Ventus smirked, “Well, you’re in luck! I’m hunting him down!”

Sora’s mouth was agape for only a moment before he smiled. The two young men looked up at a shadow, and Kairi looked down at them. “What are you two doing?” She then saw Sora’s wings, and asked more urgently, “Sora what happened?” Then she corrected herself, “What did Xehanort do?!”

“Something really stupid.” That was all Sora needed to say.

Kairi nodded. She looked at Ven, “What’re you doin’?”

“Looking for Vanitas.” Ventus replied, “And now I really need to, since he’s the one who made the deal with Xehanort.”

Kairi nodded solemnly. She looked at Sora. Sora was looking out the alleyway with his hands in his pockets. After a moment, she said, “Well, you got a plan, Sora?”

“Thinking of one...” Sora muttered. He then called up, “Kairi, I think an adventure is called for. Think you can find my old sword?”

Kairi flew off, “Sure thing! I’ll see if I can come along, too!”

Sora nodded. He pulled out his hands and shook them around. Ventus, on the other hand, was staring at him. He stopped Sora when he was about to fly back up to his apartment, “Hold up, sword? I thought you were a messenger!”

Sora shook his head, “Wasn’t always one.”

His jacket flapped in the updraft of his wings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (wiggles eyebrows)


	17. History

Sora sat next to Xehanort. He watched him for a moment, waiting for him to do something besides stare blankly. Sora’s hand gently went down the curve of Xehanort’s cheek, and he closed his eyes in response. Sora was relieved when he leaned into it ever so slightly, and went from just a gentle touch to bringing Xehanort up and holding him tight.

“I’m really scared for you, you know.” Sora whispered.

“I know.” Xehanort replied.

“You didn’t have to do that. I was happy.” Sora whispered again.

Xehanort said nothing. Sora shuddered when his wings were rubbed. It was a feeling he had missed. He couldn’t comprehend why Xehanort wanted them back, except for one reason that kept nagging at him. “Xeha... did you only love me because of my wings?”

“No... No, I didn’t. You know that’s not true.” Xehanort said. His arms grew tighter around Sora, and he could feel them shaking, “That’s not true at all.”

Sora nodded into Xehanort’s shoulder. He then said, “Don’t worry. I’ll help you like you helped me. I promise.”

Xehanort paused before murmuring, “Sora, you don’t-”

“I will.” Sora’s hand dug into Xehanort’s shirt, “I swear it.”

“What can you do?” Xehanort asked.

Shortly after, Sora heard the balcony door open, Ventus and Kairi babbling. He stood, urging Xehanort to come with him, “You’d be surprised.”

Kairi saw the two of them and smiled encouragingly. Ventus nodded, “We managed to find it, Sora! Man you must’ve been pretty top notch to own this!” Kairi held out the scabbard in her hands, but it was reluctant.

When Sora’s hand wrapped around it, she asked, “You sure?”

Sora pulled it from her and brought out his sword. It’d been a long, long time since he had held it. He smiled at the way the translucent blade glinted in the light, blue one angle and fiery red another.

“What is that?” Xehanort asked, “It looks like something for show-”

“It’s made of something you don’t have down here.” Sora said. He tested the balance carefully: a few jabs, a few slashes. “It’s got the appearance of something you call opalite, the hardness of diamond, and is really, really sharp and hard to break.” He seemed caught up in old memories a moment. Sora walked around, continuing to juggle the blade in his hands. “Can’t remember the name.” It was an obvious lie, but no one commented.

“Only the best get that kinda stuff.” Ventus muttered after a long bout of silence.

“The best what?” Xehanort had too many questions, but that one would do for now.

“The best of my division.” Ventus explained, jabbing at his chest with a thumb, “The guys who go after the threats, the dangers, the evil, that kinda thing.” He looked at Sora, who was staring at his reflection, “Getting that means he must’ve been _good_.”

“Wasn’t just me.” Sora whispered. The jacket on his back seemed so much heavier.

Kairi walked around and put her hands on Sora’s shoulders, “Sora? You okay?” She bit her lips when she saw Sora holding back tears.

“How long has it been?” He asked, still watching his sword glint in the light.

Kairi gently held up his head, “Sora, look at me.” She sighed at the sight of him unraveling. “ _He’s_ gone, but Xeha isn’t, okay? It’s too late for _him_ , but not for him, you know?”

Sora looked to the side, “I know, but...” He sheathed the sword and put it on his side, “Right. Thanks, Kairi.”

Xehanort saw Sora’s stony expression when he turned around, and he tilted his head. Sora did the same. They watched each other for a moment before Sora cleared his throat, “Okay, Xeha, look... We’re gonna hunt down Vanitas and get him to undo the deal.”

Xehanort blinked, his eyes widening for the first in a long, long time. He shook his head, “Sora you-”

“I’ve taken on scarier, tougher bastards than him.” Sora said. His hand clenched around the sword hilt.

Ventus nodded, “Vanitas is roughly on par with us, actually. We can handle it.”

Kairi, meanwhile, was holding Sora’s clenched hand with concern, “This is for Xehanort, remember that.”

Sora shook his head, “I could be killing two birds with one stone-”

“Sora stop and think a moment!” Kairi sighed, “I know you’re hurt, but don’t let it consume you-”

Sora was growling, “He’s taken a stab at me twice now, I’m not letting him go this time-”

“Sora?” Xehanort walked forward, “What has he done?”

Something faded away in Sora’s anger. It tumbled out in a completely drained sigh. He looked at Kairi, who suddenly had her arms folded with a mild glare. “You didn’t tell him about it?” She asked, “You told him Vanitas was dangerous but you didn’t say WHY?”

Sora looked away. He pulled his jacket around himself tighter. “Knowing Vanitas was dangerous was enough.”

Xehanort scoffed, “Kairi, I did know he was dangerous. ‘Why’ is just particulars.”

Ventus fiddled with his ring. “The ‘why’ is really scary, too.” He nervously laughed, trying to shake off the fear, “I-I mean, did you hear about what he did? I-it was long time ago, a-and I wasn’t even born-”

“That’s enough.” Sora said gently. “If anyone’s explaining that it’s me.”

Ventus gasped, “Oh man! You were there?!”

“There for what?” Xehanort asked. When Sora didn’t reply, he said, “I understand it may hurt, but what did he do? I’m just asking for some answers, and honesty like you’ve always given me.”

Sora squared his shoulders, but they fell shortly after. He pulled off his jacket, staring at it. His face crumpled, and then his voice came out agonizingly strained and soft:

“Vanitas killed Riku.”

The room was quiet. Kairi held a fist over her mouth. Ventus bowed his head.

Sora’s shoulders began shaking. Xehanort walked forward, offering to hold him, but Sora shook his head. “You... you know how we are? H-how we know each other really well? Me and Riku were just as close, if not closer.” Sora rubbed his nose and hiccuped, “I-I... Sorry...”

Xehanort finally at least held Sora’s shoulder, “Don’t apologize...” Sora smiled, just for a moment. Xehanort guided Sora to the couch, “Here, sit down, tell me only what you feel like saying.”

Sora nodded, composing himself. While his sniffling went on, Kairi said in a hushed voice, “We were good... Real good. Knew each other like you know how to breathe. We fought as one.”

“Kairi decided to retire from fighting and send messages.” Sora finally resumed. “They got me and Riku a replacement to make up for it.”

Xehanort held Sora’s hand, “It was Vanitas, wasn’t it?”

Sora’s brain went on autopilot. He must’ve been saying something, doing something, because Xehanort’s expression became alarmed in only a moment and he felt Kairi hugging and holding him back. 

But he could still see that day clearer than anything else in his life. 

Riku by his side, everything was fine, he had that stupid, stupid cocky grin of his when everything was going right. Some jest that had lost its words but not its tone. They were okay working as two, they were compatible as two, but right now they didn’t have a three. 

And then right through the heart. Right through, blood everywhere, that grin vanishing to never be seen again and Vanitas had the **_GOD DAMNED GALL TO LAUGH_** -

“Sora! Please!”

Sora took a shaky breath. He looked at Ventus, at Xehanort, at the apartment. He felt Kairi reluctantly letting him go, and he buckled forward. He pressed his face into Riku’s jacket. It wasn’t fair. It was year, decades, who knew maybe a full century since it happened, but it was so unfair. Riku didn’t deserve that. No one deserved that. Vanitas had come and stabbed Sora in the back again. He had taken another thing Sora loved. Sora swore he wasn’t going to let him get away this time. It was burning alive to hold his sword again, but Sora enjoyed the feeling. The blood boiling in his veins, calling him to action. Calling to revenge.

But for now weeping would do. He had and hadn’t wept enough for Riku, it felt. He’d almost forgotten the pain, but no, he had just shoved it down.

He felt Xehanort holding him, and he whispered, “Xeha, I won’t lose you, too.”

Xehanort hugged him tighter.

Sora repeated it one more time, “I won’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE SURPRISE THE JACKET WAS RIKU'S AND HE'S DEAD :D


	18. Moving Forward

Sora paced for hours. His old sword was clutched in his hands to the point of embedding marks- it wouldn’t be a stretch to assume cuts would be left if he didn’t keep it in the scabbard. Kairi was on track with making sure Xehanort didn’t sputter out too fast, since being fatigued was an inevitability of having one’s soul in demonic possession. While Sora paced Ventus went down on what he had dug up about Vanitas. The more Sora heard the less inclined he was to believe they’d find him without a special trip.

“... But basically after making a deal he falls off the face of the earth for a bit. He’s not gonna listen to whoever his victim was if they try to get him back, and angels trying to get ahold of him? Please he isn’t that stupid.” Ventus sat back on the couch with an exasperated gesture.

“I know...” Sora sighed. It was a matter of finding a trail of people who knew him. He blinked at that thought, then stood, “Doesn’t it take a rotten person to find one?”

Ventus looked up at him. His eyes darted around before he hesitantly shrugged, “I guess... What’re you thinking of?”

Sora held his chin. He then said, “Well... Xigbar-”

“NO WAY!” Ventus yelled, “We’re not-”

“Just ask him a few questions.” Sora protested, “If we can get something from him-”

“What if he doesn’t know anything?!” Ventus snapped, “We’d waste our time!”

“He knows the underbelly of the city, who knows he might’ve heard the name tossed once or twice or even met Vanitas. We don’t know until we try.” Sora pointed out.

It was Ven’s turn to pace. “We’d look weird-”

“Just a quick visit for personal issues, and that’s all we gotta say.” Sora said.

Kairi walked over, “What are you two yelling about?”

Ventus got to explain before Sora could, “Sora thinks we could get an answer out of Xigbar.”

“We could!” Sora insisted.

Kairi folded her arms. She then said, “So you’re saying we use a blighted soul to find another?”

“Exactly!” Sora sighed.

“Well what if he doesn’t know anything?” Kairi asked, “What if it’s a dead end?”

“We’re bound to find dead ends and disappointment,” Sora said, “What matters is that we’re trying-”

“And if we try too hard we make it obvious we’re trying to find him, Sora.” Kairi firmly cut him off.

“Well you got any ideas?!” Sora yelled, “Because my boyfriend is DYING!”

Kairi looked unimpressed. “You’re being controlled by your emotions, Sora.”

“SINCE WHEN HAVE I NOT BEEN CONTROLLED BY MY EMOTIONS?!” Sora shrieked. His wings- feathers standing on end and bristling -flew out and knocked over bits and pieces of the apartment’s furnishings.

Kairi walked up to Sora and began tugging his wings down, “Sora, stop and think! Xehanort is not in danger-”

“Not in danger?!” Sora scoffed, “You think this isn’t in danger-”

“Because we’re going to help him.” Kairi firmly told him, “And right now he’s got a lot of time.”

Sora’s mood dropped, and Kairi smoothed her hands over his feathers as his wings fell back. She did the gesture repeatedly, watching Sora’s cheeks turn to their usual color instead of “I’m suffocating from yelling so much” red. His fists were balled, but slowly they relaxed.

Sora looked back to their bedroom, his voice suddenly weighted and quiet, “How is he?”

“Depressive state, but he’s fine.” Kairi said, tucking a bit of Sora’s hair behind his ear, “He’s gonna be foggy and lethargic and prone to negativity but he’s got a long way to go. Dying is a bit of an overstatement.”

Sora hugged himself. Of course it sure felt like Xeha was dying, but Kairi was right. Still Sora couldn’t help but think about how dull his eyes were now or how slow he was to react. He acted like an empty shell, which wasn’t too far off from reality. Sora sighed. How hard was it to find happiness for the two of them?

Kairi grabbed Sora’s hand, “Here, you wanna see him?” Sora left, dragging Kairi along rather than letting her lead him. Kairi waved to Ven, “Get some plans laid out, okay? And give Sora’s a consideration, we need to think about all our options.”

“Got it!” Ventus replied. A small quaver denoted he felt a little awkward about witnessing Sora and Kairi’s spat.

Sora, however slid onto the bed next to Xehanort. He was asleep, of course considering his hair was a careless mess sprawled behind him. Sora gently ran his hand over Xeha’s shoulder, down his side to his waist. Xehanort mumbled a little. 

Sora smiled and leaned over to kiss his cheek and mumble back, “Hang in there, okay? I promise I’ll get us both out of this mess perfectly fine.” Xehanort rolled over with a small yawn to reciprocate the kiss. He flopped back against his pillow after a moment, tiredly smiling, eyes half lidded and bleary. Sora found Xehanort’s hand and held it, “Promise.”

Xehanort hummed. His head lolled back into sleep as he murmured, “You’ve promised so many times...”

Sora smiled, “I know, and I mean every single one.” 

When it was clear Xehanort was out cold again Sora kicked off his shoes and laid down. He kept worriedly rubbing Xehanort’s palm with his thumb, reassured by the warmth and the way it gently enclosed the finger even in slumber. Sora finally seemed to understand how late it was. He kept blinking and yet stubbornly insisting that he needed to watch Xehanort the whole night.

“I’ll go see what Ven’s got... Get some sleep.” Kairi left them alone.

Sora unfolded a wing to wrap it around Xehanort. He then gently kissed his hand, and kept it pressed against his lips. “I don’t want to lose you.” Sora whispered, “I never want to lose you.”

Sleep finally seemed to find him, and Sora reached over and held Xehanort close to him just as he fell into its waiting arms.

...

In the morning it was decided that maybe Sora’s plan was at least _something_. Better than nothing and worth a shot, however crazy it was. Xehanort pulled up his laptop, and (against his better judgement, honestly, but what else could they do? There wasn’t any other ideas) arranged a visit with Xigbar.

But then there was the matter of getting there. Three of them could fly, of course, but then again Xehanort was only comfortable flying with Sora and Sora wasn’t sure if he could be Xeha’s personal winged taxi. It was bound to be more tax _ing_ than taxi if Sora was the only one who had the onus of carrying Xehanort. Quick, one off trips were fine, but across the city and back who knew how many times? Even angels had a limit. They couldn’t fly everywhere with a passenger.

Xehanort proposed driving. 

Sora and Kairi quickly decided Xehanort wasn’t fit for driving.

And then Ventus spoke up, “I, uh, got my license...” Noticing the eyes on him, he shuffled around on his feet, “Look I was almost 17 when I died. I had a driver’s license.”

“You’ve been dead for twelve years-” Xehanort sighed before Sora and Kairi instantly agreed. At least Ventus was more alert than Xehanort was. 

About a week later- a week where they tried thinking of other ties and asking around -the day arrived. With a few swears and kisses Xehanort was coaxed into sitting in the back with Sora as close as he could get. Kairi was giving all kinds of encouragement to Ventus as he tried to refamiliarize himself with how to drive a car.

“You do _anything_ and angel or not I won’t forgive or forget.” Xehanort grumbled.

Sora leaned his head on Xehanort’s shoulder, “It’ll be fine. I trust Ven.”

Xehanort continued grumbling, then leaned forward between the front seats, “Look, brake is on the left, gas on the right, put it in reverse and be careful backing out and don’t even _try_ to parallel park-”

“Fine! Fine!” Ventus snapped at him. He waved his hand back, “Sit down and enjoy the ride Mr. Backseat Driver.”

Kairi leaned back in the now empty gap, “Just take it easy, okay? I have complete trust in Ven-”

The car suddenly swerved, Ventus spouting apologies and swears too rapid to make out coherently.

Xehanort sank back in his seat, “Not even a minute and we already almost died-”

“One incident. Just one.” Sora reassured him. Xehanort rolled his eyes. The car rolled along in silence. Kairi occasionally pointed something out to Ventus and playing the role of navigator. Whenever Ven’s rusty driving skills were felt, Xehanort tensed. Sora would quietly rub his shoulder.

Kairi screamed, “VEN RED LIGHT!”

Ventus brought the car to a lurching halt. Xehanort inhaled deeply, keeping track of the number of times Ven almost killed them. There would be comeuppance for that later.

“You know, we need some music, that’ll make stuff better!” Ventus nervously laughed, trying to lighten the atmosphere. He nodded his head to Kairi, and she wordlessly turned on the radio. 

“You’re listening to 130.7 Destati, Twilight Town’s #1 station for classical masterpieces...”

Ventus scoffed at the classical music, then his hand wandered to the knobs on the dashboard to change the station.

“Up next is a piece from Lucis, titled ‘Somnus’. It was composed hundreds-”

Static.

“Don’t you hate it when your chocobos refuse to eat their feed?-”

More static, with Xehanort muttering murder under his breath and Ventus sighing at the lack of “real” music.

“... You don’t hear me say...”

Ventus nodded and paused his station-hopping to turn back to that frequency. Shortly after as the song blared out he joined right into it without missing a beat. His voice wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t really anything breathtaking either. At least it was bearable.

As Sora listened to the song his hand wandered over to Xehanort’s, and grasped it tightly. Some of the lyrics- though ultimately nonsensical -hit home for him. Maybe a little too close. Sora began wrestling with his mouth, trying to settle on bringing up what was on his mind or not.

The words soon tumbled out of his mouth anyways, “You didn’t trust me...” Xehanort turned his head to Sora, one eyebrow silently raised. Sora continued, “I said I was fine. I said I was happy. I said I didn’t need my wings.” Sora closed his eyes, “And you went and got them back anyways.”

Xehanort’s arm wrapped itself around Sora, “I wanted you to be happy-”

“Except I already was and you disregarded that.” Sora’s voice was rising. Kairi glanced at them in the rearview mirror. Ven’s signing faltered. Sora pulled out of Xehanort’s embrace, “I already repeatedly said I was happy with you.” Xehanort looked out the window. Sora fluffed up his jacket. “I was plenty happy,” he whispered, “why did you think otherwise?”

Xehanort looked at his hand. “You... were incomplete-”

“I was not!” Sora yelled. Ventus turned up the music, continuing to awkwardly sing over the argument in the back seat.

Kairi turned her head back, “Sora, is this really the-”

“Xehanort I was fine with our situation, I was happy, and I had moved on to be with you!” Sora continued, his pitch now fluctuating in an effort to not get too cross with Xehanort, “And yet somehow you thought I was incomplete?!”

Xehanort began backpedaling, “I- I didn’t mean-”

“What did you mean then?!” Sora snapped. “What made you think doing this was going to make me happy?!”

Xehanort finally pulled away from slumping on the window to leaning over his lap, “Sora, please...”

Sora leaned against his seat, “What made you think this was the best option?”

Xehanort whispered, “I... didn’t want you held back by me. I didn’t want...” He buried his face in his hands, “I wanted to redeem myself.”

“Redeem yourself?” Sora scoffed. “Haven’t you been doing that-”

“The wings,” Xehanort said, “ _your_ wings. I caused-”

“Getting rid of my wings was my choice, Xeha. You were an influence in it but not the cause.” Sora sternly told him. Ventus stopped singing, and turned the radio down low as Sora continued, “If you felt guilty about that why didn’t you tell me?”

Xehanort sighed, “Because you wouldn’t understand-”

“What I understand is you felt like it was your fault, when it wasn’t-”

“I FELT LIKE I RUINED YOU!” Xehanort finally exploded, “I FELT LIKE NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU SAID YOU WERE HAPPY YOU WERE JUST TRYING TO CONVINCE ME THAT IT DIDN’T MATTER THAT I PRACTICALLY KILLED PART OF YOU!”

Sora’s head snapped to Xehanort. Even Ventus was looking back now, eyes wide with concern. Kairi shortly after realized no one was watching the road and the car swerved dangerously for a moment until Ven got back to driving.

Xehanort was doubled over himself, his voice constricted, “I ruined you... I ruined you... I took you and smashed you to pieces....”

Sora scooted closer, “Xeha-”

“Would you know how it feels to destroy a masterpiece? Would you know how it feels to keep staring at your shoddy attempts to repair what you’ve done? To have everyone- EVERYONE -tell you that you held no blame for what you did?” Xehanort was sobbing. “Sora I destroyed you.”

Sora finally leaned over, holding Xehanort as he wept. “It was my choice, okay?” Sora said, “You’re not to blame.”

“I just wanted you to be happy and whole. Free from me.” Xehanort cried.

“And I want to stay by your side forever.” Sora bitterly laughed.

Xehanort continued sniffling, trying to recompose himself. He hesitantly leaned away from Sora, “I’ve hurt you again. I’m sorry.”

“Vanitas hurt you.” Sora said, voice flat and serious, “He took advantage of you. He used the guilt you had to his advantage. If anything I’m coming out of this mess with more benefits than drawbacks.” He quietly pulled Xehanort back over, “You didn’t hurt me, okay?”

Xehanort shook his head, “I’ve never seen you so angry and upset, Sora.”

“Because you got hurt.” Sora said. “Because this is all at your expense. I’m not going to tolerate that.” The hand around Xehanort tightened, “When we find him...” He didn’t even need to finish the sentence. Anyone could see in Sora’s glare that he was not going to show any shred of mercy.

The car leaned as Ventus did an admittedly sloppy parking job. Xehanort clutched at his heart and Sora instantly ended up wrapping himself around his boyfriend with his glare turning into wide eyes that just saw his whole life pass by. “Hey! Look at that we’re here!” Ventus nervously laughed. He hopped out almost immediately, followed by Kairi. 

She opened Xehanort’s door and held out her hand, “Well, come on. We got a visit to try.”

Xehanort accepted her hand as he got out muttering, “I’m driving. From here on _I’m driving_.”

Sora laughed as he climbed out himself, “Y-yeah... You know what you’re doing.” He stopped. The others were already heading in, but Sora stared at the sky. He took a deep breath to steel himself, then followed the others and went in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took so long! I kinda hit a point where I was at the edge of my planning, so I took a break to get plot stuff situated. At least this update adds a good number of words, right?


	19. Lead Astray

“Only one of us?” Xehanort asked.

The secretary nodded, “Yes, sir. We’ve hit a dangerous number of people in our visitation room, and even though you have an appointment we have to limit you to only one person.” She arranged some papers, “It’s for safety, sir. I presume you want to-”

“Hold on, hold on...” Xehanort waved his hand and turned around, “Well you heard her, only one of us. Who will it be? I doubt Xigbar would be willing to talk to me-”

Sora stepped forward, “Why not?”

Xehanort chuckled, “I believe you helped get him into the mess as well, so, no.”

Kairi shrugged, “Who knows, he might-”

Ventus was already at the desk, “It’ll be me comin’ in to see him, ma’m.” She nodded, and began ushering him over.

“Ventus?” His companions asked in complete sync.

Ventus turned around and gave them a small salute, “I can handle it, don’t worry.”

“But Ven he-” Sora stopped himself, then waved his hands around, “He... you know!”

“Don’t need to remind me.” Ventus replied, “I’ll be fine, and I can get our info, okay?” And with that exchange Ventus was separated from the group. His cheery mood dropped. He wasn’t terrified. He knew Xigbar couldn’t hurt him anymore than he already did. He was more... severely pissed off.

He sat down in front of the man with a blank look on his face and only a single layer of bullet-proof glass between them. He felt rather smug seeing he had an eyepatch now, though.

Xigbar’s good eye blinked a little. He then leaned back with a scoff, “Well, well, who’re you?”

“I’m... Roxas.” Ventus decided to start with a pseudonym.

“Well, Roxas...” Xigbar went with the name, “You look pretty familiar, but why would you come visit lil ol’ me?”

Ventus leaned forward, “I’m lookin’ for someone.”

Xigbar laughed and put his hands up, “Can’t do much lookin’ around here, can I?”

“No,” Ventus admitted, “but you can tell me if you’ve ever met someone named Vanitas.”

“Nah, never heard of ‘im.” Xigbar crossed his arms. Ventus could see his eye continually looking him over, and he felt his stomach twist into knots. He took a deep breath.

“You absolutely sure?” Ventus asked, “You’re not lying or anything?”

“As if there’s something more than lying.” Xigbar chuckled, “But nah, I’m not.” He grinned, “But what if I am lying about that? There’s a riddle for the ages you can run in circles around.”

Ventus began setting things up to play his trump card, done with Xigbar’s antics, “How’d ya lose the eye?”

Xigbar’s grin faded. He scoffed, “Rifle accident.”

“Bayonet shoved up your eye, right?” Ventus’s voice was eerily flat. Oh he had a good, crisp memory of that moment. Scrambling for something to defend himself from his creep with and ending up grabbing one of the bayonets he kept in the room. Being a bit of a gun aficionado had its drawbacks, and twelve years ago that was just as certain as it was now.

Xigbar’s eye widened for a second, then he shrugged it off, “Lucky guess, punk.” He told his cover up in a playful, dismissive manner, “Yeah, a kid was horsing around and when I tried to stop him, and, well, I lost my eye!”

“Horsing around...” Ventus repeated dully. More like pinned to a couch by his neck. He began chuckling, a deep throaty and mocking noise. It soon escalated into a disturbing giggle.

“What’s so funny, punk?” Xigbar asked.

Ventus grinned at him and covered his mouth, “I remind you of Ventus, don’t I?”

Xigbar flinched, then said, “I’ve said it a dozen times I had nothing to do with that kid-”

“Little far from home, pretty boy.” Ventus stopped his giggling abruptly, going right back to his stolid tones.

Xigbar paled. 

Ventus continued, his head tilting forward and expression glowering, “Little too pretty to be walking around so _vulnerable_ , tiger.” 

Xigbar began scooting away as Ventus slowly stood with his fingers digging into the counter in front of him, continuing to say soft and detached, “Keep whining and I’ll put a gag over those cute little lips of yours.”

“Look, what do you want?!” Xigbar finally caved in as the lights began flickering.

Ventus indulged in Xigbar’s panic a moment. Perhaps more than he should have, but that was far from his thoughts. He finally growled, “If you actually know anyone named Vanitas. Messy black hair, golden eyes, 100% asshole.”

“Look I’m tellin’ you I don’t know him!” Xigbar snapped. He looked around a bit, and whispered, “If you’re lookin’ for people, though, I know a girl. Staff member at What Never Was. 1400 Memoria Avenue. She knows a lot of people but not a lot of people know or remember her.”

Ventus stood straight. He nodded his head, noting the address, “Anything special about her?”

“She’s a special one, alright. Looks like a doll, but cold as ice.” Xigbar snorted, “Trust me you’ll know her. Likes to go by poppet.”

Ventus finally turned around, knowing Xigbar wasn’t going to say anything more, “Okay then... Thanks for cooperating.”

...

Everyone had loaded up into the car and was anxiously waiting to get going before Ventus said anything. “Bad news: Xigbar didn’t know him.” Amidst the groans he gave the good news, “But he pointed us in the direction of a girl who might know him. A place called What Never Was on 1400 Memoria Avenue.”

Xehanort turned around in the driver’s seat to address Ventus properly, “That’s...” He clammed up, glancing away. “Ventus do you know what that place is, exactly?”

“No.” Ventus said, “And I don’t care.” It was Sora’s turn to look back at Ven. The poor kid’s eyes had turned dull and tortured. He seemed older than he was. He kept tugging at his bracelet and twisting his rings. Sora looked at Kairi. Kairi shook her head.

Sora rolled back into his seat, watching Xehanort, “Well, what is that place, then?”

“Ah...” Xehanort began fussing with his hands, “Not the most tasteful one...”

“Oh, spit it out!” Sora said. He added, “If it’s so awkward whisper it to me.”

Xehanort chuckled, “I-I’d rather not-”

“Come on, it can’t be that bad.” Sora scoffed. Xehanort leaned over and whispered indistinctly, and Sora’s brow folded. “Oh... A Strip Club?”

Xehanort nodded bashfully. His skin seemed redder than it usually was. “Not exactly a place I want to go to-”

“Well it’s our only lead right now.” Sora said. He then asked Ven, “Did we get a name?”

“Well, he didn’t give me a name, but he said we’d be able to find her easily enough and that she liked to go by poppet.” Ventus said.

Xehanort sighed and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, and soon after he covered his face. Sora leaned over, “Xeha, you okay?”

“I’m fine.” He murmured. Admittedly he had a spontaneous and splitting headache right now, but that wasn’t anything to worry about. “Do you think we can wait? I... need to collect myself.”

Sora leaned over even more, “Xeha are you seriously okay-”

“Just a headache, Sora. Just a headache.” Xehanort said. It was only reminding him of that grin, the sick triumph in those golden eyes. He covered his mouth, recalling the feeling of paying his price. It wasn’t exactly nausea, it was more the sensation of actually throwing up. Something being forcibly removed while his stomach heaved and decided it was a great time to imitate the ocean.

“Xehanort you’re not okay.” Sora unbuckled himself and began holding Xehanort.

“F-fine...” Xehanort mumbled back, “I’m fine I just need a mom-”

He pushed Sora away and opened the car door to throw up. Immediately everyone got out and rushed over to help him out of the driver’s seat. To his protest, of course, so the four of them ended up sitting on the curb next to the car, Sora worriedly rubbing Xehanort’s back while the poor guy hung his head between his legs in an effort to collect himself.

After a moment, Sora said sternly, “You’re not driving.”

...

A compromise was reached with Ventus driving and Xehanort playing navigator. He continually held one hand on the steering wheel, Ventus be damned. Sora sat right behind him, his own hands rubbing his shoulders while he leaned forward with his head on Xehanort’s seat. With minimal heart attacks, and a few moments where everyone saw their lives flash before their eyes, Ventus pulled up to the desired address.

“They even open?” Ventus muttered, breaking the silence for the first time the whole drive.

“Perhaps.” Xehanort replied.

“Well, it’s not quite night yet...” Kairi shrugged.

“Less people around, for sure. We can probably find her easier like this.” Sora said.

Ventus pulled up, perhaps a little too far, and Xehanort shook his head, “Ventus what did I say about-”

He proceeded to sloppily parallel park the car. The entire time Xehanort clutched his stomach and waited for an eventual bump or hiss or creak or grind. Sora whispered, “Honey, it’s fine, Ven can do this, he can totally do this-” The car halted with a soft thunk. Xehanort took a deep breath as Ven eased it forward, then finally parked.

“Only gave the back car a quick kiss.” Ventus chuckled, as if that would get him any better points.

Xehanort got out with a weary sigh. Sora followed right after, immediately hooking his arm around Xeha, “It’s fine.” He looked back at the small dent in Xehanort’s car, “It’s fine.” He ushered the group in, “Come on, let’s find... what did Xigbar call her again? Puppet?”

“Poppet.” Kairi corrected.

Of course inside it was dark and musty. The carpet felt like it could’ve been thick but now it had seen too many footsteps to be anything more than thinned and worn. The tables were abandoned at this hour, but judging by the woman wiping them up they were at least open-ish, right?

She stood, finally noticing the entourage, “We’re not open yet-”

“We’re not here for... that.” Kairi explained. “We’re looking for someone, a girl who goes by poppet.”

The woman pursed her lips. She then “tsk”ed and sighed, asking, “You’re looking for Xion, aren't you?”

“Odd name, but perhaps.” Xehanort said.

“Oh, all the customers look for her. Poppet's just a stage name.” The woman scoffed. “I’ll go get her. Have a seat. At least pay for something.”

Xehanort sat down first, “I’d rather not...” Sora promptly picked him up, sat down himself, and placed his boyfriend in his lap. He chuckled at this, turning around to give Sora a quick kiss. Sora grinned and returned it.

Ventus snorted at this, but then he sighed and tipped his chair back. Kairi sat next to him, keeping an eye on the quaint lovers but also trying to fathom what was up with Ventus. She patted Ven’s hand, “Everything okay?”

“Fine.” Ventus sighed, “Just peachy.”

“You’ve been different ever since talking with Xigbar.” Kairi said, adding, “Which was incredibly brave of you.”

“Thanks...” He replied.

“I mean it.” Kairi told him, “Talking to the man who killed you... That’s the most courage and bravery I’ve seen in anyone.”

Ventus chuckled. He sighed again shortly after, “But yeah... That was hard.” Hard to confront him without losing it completely, hard to even talk with him in a respectful manner. Hard to even walk in without breaking down into tears.

“You’re stronger than people say, Ven.” Kairi smiled. She reached over and held his hand, “I mean it.” He squeezed her hand back.

Sora interrupted his kissing session with Xehanort to just hold him. He wrapped his hands around the man he loved with no intention to let go, weaving his hands into silver hair and burying his nose in the vague scent of cologne and whatever smoke still dared to linger in Xehanort’s clothes.

Xehanort gently rubbed Sora’s back to mirror the affection, murmuring, “You’re acting like I’m going to be gone tomorrow.”

“Who knows?” Sora whispered back, “You could be.” He rocked the both of them back and forth, “I don’t want you to go without knowing I love you.”

“I’m not leaving that easy.” Xehanort leaned his head into Sora’s shoulder, “Nor will I forget that.”

Sora was content enough with the answer to let Xehanort get up for his own seat. He kept rubbing Xehanort’s hand, wondering what was taking this “Xion” so long-

“Ok, Larx says that there’s some people lookin' for me an-” The lass that walked out from what was likely the backstage dressing rooms paused and settled her disturbingly deep blue gaze on Sora. She squinted, her mouth flicking upward in a sneer while one finger fussed with her cropped black hair. She walked slowly towards him, then more deliberately as her expression turned sour.

Sora leaned away, “W-what’s the-” Sora was slapped. His jaw made a loud, resounding “SMACK!” The poor young man rubbed his cheek in mute shock.

“ASSHOLE!” Xion shrieked, “WHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND WE’RE NOT A THING ANYMORE?!” Sora’s face could have been kin with a confused puppy. Xehanort gently pulled Sora away while Ventus and Kairi clamored to explain that Sora had never met Xion in his life.

Xion was unconvinced, “I’d know that sorry mop of hair anywhere!” She turned to head back, “Look, if you’re all friends of asshat over there I’m not telling you a thing!”

Xehanort stood, “Look, miss, uhm... Miss Xion, I don’t think you’re acquainted with Sora.”

Xion stopped to scoff, “Sora? Jeez you think a name change will fool me?” She turned right around, glaring at Sora, “You’re fooling them, but not me, you fucking piece of-”

“You know Vanitas?” Sora asked.

Xion paused when she actually heard Sora’s voice. She blinked, then covered her mouth, “OH! Y-you really... You really aren’t him...” Her personality had turned a complete 180, culminating with a meek, “Sorry.”

“Fine, fine. I get it he hurt you.” Sora said. Xehanort, however, had a look that told he was going to get retribution for that slap.

Xion pulled up a chair, “Sorry I just... We broke up months ago, and I don’t want to see him again. Ever.” The group nodded in sympathy, Xehanort and Sora especially. Xion leaned back, warily eyeing them, “Ok, so you know him. Why do you want him?” She then sighed, “And honestly I dunno where he went.”

Sora felt his heart plummet. Kairi looked at him, then folded her hands in her lap and said, “Look, he hurt us, and we just want to find him so he can undo it.”

Xion bitterly laughed, “He hurt you and you want him to undo it? Good luck with that, his heart makes the arctic look like the Sahara.” She looked them all over, then asked, “How did he hurt you anyways?”

Ventus ruffled his hair, “It’s a... uhm... complicated.” He then said, “Let’s just say your ex is a literal demon.”

Xion nodded approvingly, “Got that right.”

“Wait he told you?!” Sora shot forward in his seat.

Xion stared at him. “Uh... hyperbole?” She started at Sora like he was crazy.

Sora realized his mistake and coughed, “Uh... Forget that...”

Xion leaned forward, “No, no, no. Tell me. What do you think he told me?”

“Well...” Kairi played with her fingers, “We meant _literal_ literal.”

Xion’s expression flattened. She then sighed, “You expect me to believe he was a demon?”

“... Yes?” Sora said with a shrug.

Xion rolled her eyes and sighed. She grabbed a napkin and scribbled on it while explaining, “Okay, look, I get that he was into occult-y black magic type things, but a legit demon?Even if he’s less than trash, I doubt it. But I guess you guys getting revenge on him is a good way for me to do the same, so...” 

She handed the napkin to Sora, “He liked graveyards, especially on the new moon. Old ones with no one to care for them. Headstones choked by roots, names lost to time. The Keystone Graveyard was his absolute favorite.”

Kairi looked at the napkin-map with Sora, saying, “New moon is a few weeks away.” Xehanort nodded. A waiting game, if they chose to mess with this. Kairi smiled at Xion, “We’ll get him, but do you have anything else?”

Xion shrugged, “I’ve dropped contact with him, so I dunno if he’s got a place of his own or not. But trust me, you show up there and mess with something, leave a signal, and come back? He’ll be there, so kick his sorry ass for me.” Xion got up, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I got a show to prep for.”

Sora got up and began heading for the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okkk rolling things forward. Sorry it's slow I'm jumping around projects a bunch rn.


	20. Waiting Games

On the road, Ventus tapped the steering wheel. His mouth was a thin line, and remarkably his driving was somewhat steady. Xehanort was actually relaxed in his seat, and Sora wasn’t doing anything. Kairi fingers were resting between the front seats, lingering.

Sora slowly reached forward with his hand. Xehanort glanced down to notice it, then grasped it without a word. He looked back, “Sora, I’m fine.”

“You will be.” Sora said. The, mostly to satisfy himself, “We just have to wait a bit.”

“Waiting... is something I can do.” Xehanort replied.

Kairi shook her head with a giggle to try and lighten the mood, “Sora can’t.”

“I’ll have to!” He joked back through gritted teeth. This was going to be a tough time. Waiting. No leads except this. Xehanort slipping away inch by inch. Sora squeezed Xehanort’s hand. He didn’t reciprocate it. Sora fell back, looking out the window, “Nothing to do but wait, anyways...”

Kairi watched him. Sora’s fingers tapped in an increasingly fast rhythm on his thigh. His head was propped up with the other and his forehead touched the glass. She then said, “Well, I bet you’re rusty. We could practice while looking for other ideas on where Vanitas could be. You haven’t even _touched_ your sword since... You know.” 

Sora’s eyes flashed angrily for a moment, a lightning strike of turmoil. He sighed. “Yeah, I guess...”

Kairi could feel the despair in the small car. Xehanort slowly retreating into a hollow shell, Sora burning alive in frustration, Ventus broken... somewhere. She leaned forward to turn on the radio, “Maybe something good’s on-”

“Not in the mood...” Ventus softly discouraged her.

Kairi turned it on anyways, “Come on, music never harmed anyone.”

“In you and I...”

Xehanort swayed his head in time to the music. Admittedly it calmed some small aspect of him, and he couldn’t place why. He could almost get lost in the echoing, peaceful tones and steady beat, but by the time his eyes had closed the song was over. 

He opened them back up and glanced in the mirror. Sora had hundreds more lines etched into his skin, and bags were starting to appear under his eyes. He recalled vague, half asleep memories from the past week or so of someone- well, obviously Sora -pacing in the middle of the night and swearing before caressing him with a soft kiss. This was never what he wanted from this, but Sora had to insist this pyrrhic effort was worth saving him. Xehanort smiled. Sora was likely to play the role of savior the rest of their lives. Anything else would be unheard of.

Though Kairi’s comment about getting back into the swing of fighting had been stewing in the back of Xehanort’s head for quite some time now, and it finally seemed to find a sister thought. “Say, Sora?” He gently prodded.

“What?” Sora grunted. His fingers were digging into the fluff of his jacket’s hood.

“Didn’t Aqua say she was open to giving us lessons?” Xehanort asked.

Sora blinked a little, then shifted in his seat, “Oh... Yeah, she did, didn’t she?”

“Perfect!” Kairi cried, “We can all go to Aqua’s dojo! We can get back in gear with fighting so we can all take on Vanitas when we find him!”

“If we find him...” Ven mumbled. He turned the car down to the proper street, however. Seeing Aqua again would be nice... Terra trusted her, therefore Ven trusted her. She was... pretty okay, too. In his spare time he had stopped by once or twice, so he understood Aqua was pretty level-headed. Motherly too. And kind.

Kairi leaned forward, “Well, if no one’s up for fighting then we can see Aqua again, huh? Sounds good either way.” She patted Xehanort’s shoulder, “Great idea, thanks for remembering.”

“I’m sure everyone will feel better... somehow.” Xehanort replied.

Ventus nodded as he recalled how to get to Aqua’s dojo.

...

Aqua held out her hands in time with her imaginary sparring partner. Circling her arm like a windmill and imagining the arm now trapped in her grasp, she knelt. Too bad there wasn’t a satisfying “THUMP” to accompany.

There was, however, a ring.

She stood, brushing off her uniform, “Ye- oh! Hello!”

Sora gave her a small salute in reply, followed by the others, “Hey Aqua.”

Aqua walked over, squaring her shoulders, “What’s up?” She noticed Ventus lagging, ever so slightly. Lagging, definitely lagging. Shoulder hunched, tense. Aqua felt her eyes narrow slightly.

“We’re here about those free lessons you offered.” Sora explained, “We might need ‘em soon, and, well...” He smiled, “It’s nice to see ya again.”

“It is.” Aqua smiled, “Now, how much do you know-”

“I just need a refresher spar or two.” Sora said, “Xehanort?”

“I’m fine,” he said as he sat down, “I’ll wait for you to finish here.”

Kairi sauntered up, “I can help Sora out if he needs a partner.”

Aqua’s gaze however, was lingering on Ventus solemnly sitting down a couple seats away from Xehanort. Something was off. She then said, “So you two, Kairi, Sora, have fought before?”

“Yeah.” They replied.

“Think you two can work with each other for a bit?” She walked towards Ven before they said anything, “There’s something a little more pressing here.”

She sat next to Ventus in silence. Ventus glanced at her, then hugged himself. Aqua tilted her head and raised her hand, “Ven-”

“I... I’m fine.” He said.

“Been like that for awhile,” Kairi said, “I’m sure he’ll sort out whatever’s eating at him eventually. He’s a smart kid like that, he knows himself.”

Aqua raised her eyebrows at this. She glanced at Ven. This didn’t look like “sorting it out himself” was working. She persisted, gently, “If you need to talk... there’s a back room. I use it as a office, and it’s relatively private.”

Ventus blinked. He gnawed at his lip, fussed with his rings. His feet crossed each other, and both jittered and bounced against the ground. The vibrations traveled up to his raised shoulders.

There was a loud “THWACK”. 

Kairi gloated a little. 

Sora grumbled.

Xehanort let out a burst of laughter.

Aqua held out her hand to Ven, “I won’t tell a soul what you tell me.”

Ventus accepted her hand. His grip was a vice. Aqua stood with him, guiding him to the back room she typically used for an office to work out business expenses. She was about to close the door before she said, “You guys just keep at it, okay? Me and Ven gotta talk a bit.” 

She closed the door and locked it while grabbing a throw blanket and stuffing it between the door and the floor. When Ventus looked at her funny for this, she explained, “No interruptions, this is you and me.” She gestured to the small cushioned chair for guests while she walked over to a small water cooler and made Ven a glass of water, “Sit down, take your time to think of what to say.”

Ventus collapsed onto the small chair. Shortly after he bent forward, holding his head and trembling, “W-where to fucking begin...?”

“Well... Hmm.” Aqua bit her cheek before offering her suggestion, “When did it happen?” She reluctantly added, “Is this because you’re dead? Y-you were murdered, right? Terra’s told me everything the police knew about the case...”

Ventus laughed, but Aqua heard the sobs he was trying to mask, “Oh, Terra... if he knew what I did... If he’s anything like I remember him he’d go ballistic.”

“Well I’m not Terra. I won’t be mad, not at you.” Aqua sat down on the ground and handed Ven his drink, waiting for him to say what he needed to. Sora and Kairi’s sparring alongside Xehanort’s amused claps punctuated the silence like death knells. Aqua stroked his leg, “It was Xigbar, right-”

Ventus pulled away, “Don’t! J-just don’t touch me!”

Aqua brought her hand back, “Alright. I won’t touch you. Thank you for telling me that.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath at the sight of Ventus bawling. He grabbed his shirt and dabbed up the tears, swearing as the small paper cup was set down elsewhere. Aqua quickly stood and grabbed the tissues at her desk, “Hey, hey now that’s not very good for you. Irritates your eyes, you know?” She paused at the picture on her desk, then picked it up as well.

Settling back down at Ven’s side, Aqua gave him the tissues and held out the picture, “Here, let’s talk about something else for a bit. This man, here, in the picture, was my father, Eraqus.” Ventus nodded while continuing to try and stem his crying. Aqua gently continued, “He was very strict, but also the kindest man I have ever known. He had so much patience and wisdom, and everything I know I learned from him.”

Aqua took another deep breath. This always stung. She’d gotten over it but it would always hurt. “He died, a few years ago. I-it was a heart attack. It was meaningless, spontaneous, cruel, and for months I kept thinking to myself ‘Why did he die? What did I do wrong? Why is he not here anymore?’ My whole life was suddenly filled with questions and doubt.” Aqua set the photo aside, “But... It was the most important lesson he ever taught me.” 

She made sure Ven’s eyes met her own as she said slowly and carefully, “Things happen. They hurt and don’t have a reason. They don’t need a reason to happen. Lingering on negativity only drags a person down, and if it’s heavy enough you can drown on it, get to a point where you can’t walk forward or function. Sometimes you have to accept it and keep walking, because sometimes the world isn’t very fair. Do you get that?”

Ventus finally said it, the words tumbling in a spontaneous burst of courage, “I-I wasn’t just... killed.”

Aqua blinked. “I... I don’t-”

“I wasn’t just killed...!” Ventus said again, more urgent, voice cracking.

It was sinking in, but far too slowly to comprehend, “W-what else could he have done? He killed you, what’s beyond that? Tortured you? Ventus I-I don’t understand-”

“Right there on a fucking couch!” Ventus sobbed, his thoughts skipping ahead, “I-I had to stab out his fucking eye to get him to stop!”

On a couch...?

_oh god._

Aqua’s eyes widened as it actually registered what Ventus was saying. She covered her mouth, unable to say anything as Ventus’s crying became wails. She couldn’t even say a simple, almost meaningless “I’m sorry”. She watched Ventus with mute horror. She couldn’t even imagine that situation, that young, that terrified, that _exploited_.

She backed up to give him space and Ventus spat, “Y-you think... you think I-I’m ruined or f- screwed up don’t you?! Or maybe you think I’m lying-”

“No! NO!” Aqua scooted forward, “No, Ven, I know you wouldn’t lie about that!” Not when he was behaving like this. Her head kept whirling. She didn’t expect this to be such a bombshell of information, this sounded like something he’d trust Terra with. “Oh god what do I do” was on a constant repeat in her thoughts. 

“Y-you...” She had to think carefully about this. She whispered, “You’re incredibly brave.”

Ventus quieted. He looked at Aqua with wide, swollen red eyes. He sniffled.

Aqua’s hand hovered over Ven’s, “May I?”

Ventus glanced, then nodded. Aqua grabbed his hand just as tight as he had grabbed hers, “You’re so brave. If that was happening to me, fighting back is exactly what I would’ve done.”

“It ended with me _dead_.” Ventus croaked, “W-what if I-”

“A stabbed out eye is just what he deserved.” Aqua hissed, “I-If I’m understanding what you don’t want to say, then he deserved that and worse.” Shortly after she grumbled, “He better be glad his ass is in jail or he’d lose that other eye because of my fist.”

Ventus was hiccupping, but still going, “I-I hated it but what if I-”

“I don’t know... I don’t know...” Aqua started crying, and she shook her head to try and hide it, “All I know is you can’t change it now.” She rubbed her cheek, trying to hide tears. He was so young then, what had the world come to? “C-can I hold you?” She murmured.

Ventus felt her hand shaking and getting only tighter and tighter. He reached over without a word and let Aqua wrap him in an embrace just as tight. He wrapped his wings around them, letting Aqua’s arms cradle him like a child.

“I’m sorry...” Aqua said. “That should never have happened to you, Ventus.”

Ventus sniffled. He couldn’t stop crying, but he felt lighter than he ever had. It’d been years that disgusting memory had lingered in his heart, shoved back and back and back and now he just couldn’t ignore it anymore. He couldn’t let it actually slip past his tongue, but conveying what had happened accurately enough to drive Aqua to tears (tears he didn’t mean for) was close enough. Finally telling someone. Finally unburdened.

“I-I haven’t told anyone...” Ventus sniffled, “I-I mean... There wasn’t anything anyone could do, it happened and now he’s in jail so... I-I should feel fine, right?!” His heart beat wildly. His eyes stung. He was choking. 

Aqua rubbed his hand, “You told me. Does that make you feel a little better about that?” Ventus nodded. Aqua tucked a few golden strands of hair behind his ear, “You’re really brave, Ven.” Ventus nodded again, grabbing at Aqua’s hand to keep it pressed against his cheek. 

“Xigbar’s locked up,” Aqua said, slow and smooth and clear, “he can’t hurt you, or anyone. Not for a long time or never again.”

Aqua let silence settle between them. Apparently Sora was still failing miserably because Kairi had finally run out of patience and yelled at him to get focused.

“Sora you’re better than this! You wanna protect Xehanort? The get you better start thinking about it!”

“I’m tryin’!” Sora’s whine barely reached through the door, followed by illegible grumbling.

Aqua glanced at the door, then glanced at Ven’s water. She wetted some tissues with it (he hadn’t taken a single sip after all) and gently pressed it to his eyes, “Here, this’ll make it less obvious you were crying-”

Ven pushed her hand away, “I-I’m good... I don’t wanna lie to them. Not anymore.”

Aqua folded her hands in her lap, “Been saying you’re fine?”

“Yeah...” Ven’s voice was a bare whisper, scratchy and weary.

Aqua nodded, “I know the feeling.” She held up her hand, and when Ven nodded she stroked his cheek again, letting her hand wind down to his shoulder. “Terra’s right. You’re a good kid, Ven.”

“D-don’t... don’t tell him for me, okay?” Ventus asked, “I-I wanna tell him myself.”

“Of course.” Aqua said. She hugged him once more, “Of course, you don’t have to tell anyone until you're ready.”

Ventus held her back, “... Thank you.”

...

The group disbanded after the sparring visit. Kairi had duties to get back to and Ventus- while tearful and still recovering -had work to do on his own (Vanitas wasn’t the only one on his list, after all). Sora opened the door to Xehanort’s apartment, and has to pause at the realization.

There was nothing to do until the new moon. Nothing. Where would they even begin looking? This was their only chance.

Xehanort shuffled past him and collapsed into bed. He was too tired to deal with much more, and driving back was more exhausting than he remembered. Everything was more exhausting, honestly. Was it too much to ask for some kind of energy to carry on? The pillow was enticingly soft, though, and Xehanort folded his arms under it. His eyes couldn’t stay open...

Sora finally began walking. He reached for his walking stick- not out of pain in his back, more for comfort -when his toe kicked something over. He glanced down, and knelt to pick up a decently small box marked for Xehanort. Standing and gathering his things, Sora walked to the bed and sat down.

“Hey,” he held out the box, “this is for you?”

Xehanort buzzed a little as he woke. He looked at the box and blinked before accepting it. He shook it, still too sleepy to remember what it was. “W-what did I order, hmm?”

“You tell me, sleepyhead.” Sora chuckled.

“It’s my box so it’s for me to know.” Xehanort replied. What was it what was it-

Oh.

Xehanort’s memory caught up with him and he finally remembered. It was so small for a package of course it was _that_. He got up and walked over to the closet, “Something for when this is all over.” He gently put it on the top shelf, knowing Sora had trouble reaching that particular spot, “So for now, it’s a surprise.”

“Aw! No fair!” Sora laughed, now sitting cross-legged on the bed.

Xehanort bounded over and ungracefully flung himself onto the bed to get back to his rest, “My box, my apartment, my rules.” His smirk was lost in Sora bending over to place a kiss upon it. Sora laid down next to Xehanort, sighing.

Their fingers knit together, not exactly perfect, like puzzle pieces that weren’t quite right, but tight and warm and loving. “Love you.” Sora mumbled.

Xehanort was already asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slow goin' but we're getting to that end. maybe in like 1 or 2 chapters, if that doesn't feel too rushed?
> 
>  
> 
> ~~lol I've made so many mistakes on this anyways might as well let the storm run its course~~
> 
> EDIT: I FORGOT A FUCKING TITLE I AM AN IDIOT SANDWICH


	21. Doubts

Sora was the first to get up. He yawned and stretched, absently dragging one wing over Xehanort in a groggy gesture of protection. He looked over, repeating it as he waited with baited breath for... well he didn’t know what until he finally registered Xehanort was just asleep.

“He’s gonna be fine...” Sora whispered to himself, “He’s gonna be just fine.”

He then got out of bed with a bounce, “Ok, breakfast.” He didn’t even bother to tuck his wings back up, letting them drag on the ground. It was nice to have them again, admittedly. He kept saying he didn’t want them but now that he was indulging in the brush of feathers against the ground and focusing on their heft... Sora had missed his wings more than he wanted to admit.

Sora made some toast. Seconds ticked by. He fussed with his sword, trying to get used to holding it without the emotional baggage that came with so he could think clearly when running it right through Vanitas over and over- No, no that was exactly the kind of wrath he wanted to avoid. Minutes passed. He leaned over the balcony holding out his wings and letting the wind comb through them. An hour hadn’t passed yet. Sora tried to find something good on TV but there was nothing. Time just wouldn’t move fast enough.

He finally caved in and wrote a small note saying he was going out for a quick flight. 

He ran out, leapt off the balcony, and flew off in a rush. He sighed at the wind battering his face. Higher and higher he went, trying to race past how heavy his heart was. He stopped, and let gravity consume him in an absolute free fall. Everything was a blur, even his thoughts ran together in some runny mix of ideas and concepts that ultimately weren’t thoughts at all.

Sora snapped out of his free fall to glide. He twirled with a sigh. His head was still such a buzz. 

“Just gotta wait...” He muttered, “Just gotta wait things out ‘till there’s no moon.” He looked around. Where was that graveyard anyways? Might as well find it now.

He landed at it easily enough, and walked around to get an idea of the layout. Trees lined the fence at claustrophobic levels- willows and yew and holly all huddled together to keep out prying eyes to allow privacy to the dead and the grieving. Stones were either unblemished and well polished or were falling into decay with moss and chips, the names too worn out to read. They were neat and tidy graves, too. As you could expect they formed their own little aisles and rows of different people who had ended their stories with flowers (or lack of) and well-being telling more.

Sora pushed past the strands of willow, going to the heart and center of the tree to indulge in the fortress of rope-like branches surrounding its trunk. He plopped down on the decently kept grass, leaning against the willow and watching the sky through its leaves.

“Just gotta wait.” He told himself yet again. Shortly after he sighed and closed his eyes. This whole mess felt like it was slipping out of his hands. Out of his control, just like Riku. 

He swore under his breath; why oh why did he have to remember that again? At least that time it passed so quickly, but now this was just a slow, slow burn. Vanitas’s way of rubbing salt in these old wounds to get them fresh again. He grabbed his jacket- Riku’s jacket -and wrapped it around himself better. At least the fuzzy collar was good for dabbing up tears. 

“It’s not happening again,” Sora muttered, “It’s not happening again because you’re stopping it. Just gotta wait.” He pulled the jacket over his head, finding solace in the gesture. “You’re gonna stop this, and you’ll save Xeha, okay? You will.”

Footsteps caused his eyes to open again. Sora’s heart skipped a few beats before he sternly reminded himself that this was a graveyard. People had loved ones in the dirt here, it was normal for him to have company. He put his jacket back on properly and stood, however he stayed close to the ground. He couldn’t see anything clearly through willow branches, but clear enough to understand someone was lingering at a grave nearby. As for who it was, he couldn’t say.

“I can see I am not the only one contemplating loss here.” The figure said, revealed to be a man. His voice was slow, deep, measured, and the indifference within it made Sora’s skin crawl. The man said, “Come out. I know you are there.”

Sora walked out of his sanctuary with a puffed, exaggerated sigh, “Oh no, you caught me.” He froze when he saw who he was talking to. Long and slicked back silver hair with stringy bangs, dark skin, golden eyes glaring at him over a shoulder. If he wasn’t undeniably older Sora would’ve thought he was talking to Xehanort.

“You should know, it is rather rude to spy on others, especially somewhere so... personal.” He said. His voice was like an unwanted, lingering touch, giving Sora a reason to shudder and a sense of dread.

“I wasn’t spying.” Sora grunted, “Just looking for somewhere to clear my head.”

“How curious,” the man replied, “a graveyard would fill most people with apprehension. It is not a place most would come to for solace unless there is someone dearly departed within.” He fussed with his suit, and the material glinted in the sunlight, “Which, I know very well there is no grave where you were hiding.”

Sora asked, “Who are you? What do you want?”

The corner of the man’s mouth turned at this. A teasing grin more sickening than delightful. “I suppose I should ask you the same: who are you?” He folded his hands behind his back, “And as for myself, I only wish for some privacy in my grieving. I do not tolerate being watched.”

Sora watched the man. He was standing firm and tall- really tall, taller than Xehanort. A rigid, immovable stance that was imposing and cold. “I’m Sora,” he finally said, “and you are?”

The man turned his head, chuckling, “So you are the one...”

“And you are?” Sora repeated. Seeing he wasn’t going to get an answer anytime soon, he asked, “I’m what?”

The man turned completely around, “Oh, the one my son is so... enamored with.” Sora took a step back. Well, that explained the uncanny resemblance. He then decided that this conversation was over, and began leaving. If Xehanort didn’t want his father in their lives then so be it-

“Honestly, Sora, I do not know what you see in him.”

Sora stopped with an exasperated sigh for strength. “Coming from his own father,” he said, “that’s a little cruel.”

“Coming from the man who raised him,” he replied, “I can see his flaws. Ones you may not even be aware of.”

Sora pivoted on his heel, digging a hole into the grass and glaring, “Why do you care? Xehanort is incredibly loyal, and is willing to do anything for my happiness.”

Xehanort’s father waved his hand, “Oh, I am merely warning you of the things you have been blind to.” His head lolled, rolling around and contemplating a number of words and thoughts before saying, “My son is a coward, honestly.”

“Xehanort is braver than you.” Sora hissed.

“Mmm, for now.” Xehanort’s father said. He then leaned over in a pseudo-bow, “And the proper identification for me would be Xemnas, by the way.”

Sora scoffed, “Whatever.” He turned back around to finally leave, but couldn’t hold back his default politeness even if it had a bitter tone, “Have a good day, I guess, Mr. Xemnas.”

Xemnas yanked Sora to a standstill with his words again, “Truly, my son was never one to get close to anyone. I imagine he is merely playing your heart to get what he wants from you.”

Sora had nothing to say.

Xemnas had plenty more, “He tended to avoid commitment, things that were... inflexible. He can be selfish, and cruel, and apathetic. Loyal and willing to do anything for someone other than himself are lies to my ears.”

Sora’s fist was balled.

“You could be coming back to this graveyard for far more than settling your thoughts later. Perhaps this is a fine place for hopes and dreams to be buried, as well.”

Sora began walking.

“Loss is a natural thing,” Xemnas called after him, “and so is change. The only thing that lasts forever is emptiness, waiting to be filled for a fleeting moment.”

Sora took off, blood boiling. He was burning hot despite the wind. None of that was true, he knew it, but now it was sending other thoughts in his head racing. A series of dominoes toppling to the ground and weighing him down. He wanted to say no, he wanted to, he wanted to.

But what if Xemnas was right? What if Xehanort was just running from him?

He practically slammed the balcony door behind him, panting and trembling now, eyes wide to try and stem tears. The thought that after all this Xehanort was just playing him like the world’s tiniest violin...

“Sora? Sora are you alright?” Xehanort walked in from the kitchen. He looked Sora over, and asked again, “W-was the flight bad, or?”

“W-why did you do it?!” Sora’s words tumbled out sharp and unpolished. He swallowed, taking a deep breath, and clarified, “Why did you really get my wings back?”

Xehanort blinked. His features relaxed slightly, but the crease of his brow remained. “Sora, I...” He reached out his hand, “Here, let’s sit down and-”

Sora brushed it away, “Answer me!”

The two stared at each other. Xehanort took his own advice and sat down, “Sora, I already explained to you why-”

“Are you really just running away?” Sora demanded, “A-are you just... rationalizing it as something good for me because you can’t- y-you can’t-” Sora couldn’t say it. He gestured emptily and hoped Xehanort would understand. Xehanort fiddled with his hands in his lap. He said nothing for a long, long time, and every second caused Sora’s stomach to plummet another floor down. Every second made what Xemnas said sound truer and truer.

“I can’t say for sure...” Xehanort murmured. “But... maybe.”

Sora didn’t know how to feel about that. He felt his knees giving out because Xehanort didn’t see that reasoning as impossible which meant perhaps it was true and it was only a matter of time before he left and-

“Sora, Sora, now hold on.” Xehanort leapt to his feet and gently guided Sora to the couch with him, “I-I mean... It’s a morally complicated situation, and it’s for something I can’t foresee and a commitment that could last for the rest of time. Of course I’d have my reservations about being with you for so long.”

Sora shook his head, covering his mouth and shutting his eyes.

Xehanort gently rubbed Sora’s shoulder, “Sora, that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with you as long as I can. I’m just... worried about the future.” He got down on the floor, kneeling and holding Sora’s hand, “I want to be with you, I do. Get any nonsense that I don’t out of your head, please.”

Sora opened his eyes and looked Xehanort in his. He took in every variation of gold in them, the vulnerable honesty.

He knelt down on the floor next to Xehanort and held him tight, “You’re right, and I want to be with you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~oh hi Xemnas little late to the party lol~~
> 
> ok yeah sap and drama aside I think there's like one more chapter after this, maybe two if I wanna split it into finale and epilogue. When finished I'm gonna let it stew for awhile and probably get to work on polishing because tbh there's a lot of problems but then again I'm also doin it for fun so I haven't been really bothered with them till now.
> 
> But annyyywayyys if you've read this far thanks?? hope I made whatever amount of time you wasted on this enjoyable? I'm baffled that this became my second-most popular work on the site (when it comes to kudos) lol since the focus of the fic is such a rarepair and understandably a notp for a lot of people. ~~Not to mention me bullshitting a lot and having no clue how to write a relationship without making it unbearably sappy~~
> 
> So a big thank you to everyone who's enjoyed reading this. I've enjoyed writing it, flaws and all.


	22. Defeat

Days wound by too fast and too slow. Ventus stopped by once or twice by to see how they were doing, but Kairi was a rarer sight. Probably making up for all the time she missed running around with Sora and Xehanort.

Xehanort stopped walking around the apartment. Then he was going to bed earlier and earlier and sleeping in later and later while Sora could only keep himself wrapped around him until he awoke. Sometimes Sora would just lay on his back and stare at the ceiling, one hand on Xehanort, and count the seconds until he’d hear that deeper sigh and look over to see half-lidded golden eyes looking back. Meals were simple and eaten in silence only punctuated by Sora’s desperate begs to eat and Xehanort’s soft protest that he wasn’t hungry.

When there was a sliver of moon in the sky, Sora felt relived. “Tomorrow,” he whispered to Xehanort, holding him close to his chest and tangling his hands in silver strands. “Just gotta hold on a little longer, love.” He closed his eyes, wishing Xehanort was awake to reply. He leaned over and kissed him, smiling at the soft grunt when Xehanort woke up because of it.

“What’s tomorrow?” He mumbled.

Sora pulled out his wings, hiding the moon, the skyline, their room, everything, from sight. It was just them in this tiny world, no danger, no city. Light and peace. Sora watched Xehanort slowly smile, as it took a few minutes of wincing for him to understand what Sora did. Xehanort shuffled up a little more against Sora with a small hum. “Still... what’s going to happen?”

“Tomorrow’s the new moon.” Sora explained. He stared ahead into the unflinching darkness his wings couldn’t cover. The darkness stared back.

“Tomorrow I’m saving you.”

...

And tomorrow Xehanort seemed to be using the strength he had reserved. He got out of bed, sluggish, slow, wobbling, but got himself dressed and moved from the bed to the couch. Too much time was spent with soft murmurs and gentle kisses instead of getting ready to fight, but they didn’t care. The apartment felt clouded and dismal, and so too much time was spent in Sora’s little sanctuary, clinging to each other in hopes that maybe the future wouldn’t be the same.

When the sun fell, Sora scooped Xehanort into his arms and fled into the heavens. He kept thinking, thinking, thinking, about how it was only them, a sword, and brass knuckles against Vanitas. If Sora remembered right, he could be challenging enough on his own. Maybe it was hopeless. Maybe he had been lying to himself this whole time and they weren’t strong enough. Maybe Xehanort was going to wither away.

Well damn everything Sora was going to wither with him, then.

“You ready?” Sora asked, hovering over the graveyard.

“... As I’ll ever be.” Xehanort replied, cracking his knuckles.

“Don’t need anything for an energy boost?” Sora asked.

“As if that would hel-” Xehanort was silenced by a kiss.

“For luck.” Sora explained, and they dropped. The air rushed past them in a howling gale, drowning out everything. Lights of buildings became streaks and shooting stars, and shadows became tendrils hungry to grab the two. Sora was surprised Xehanort didn’t scream, or express any discomfort at the sudden free-fall. The wind pierced everything and sucked away everything, and when Sora brought out his wings to make the landing softer he was numb.

Sitting on a black marble headstone, elbow on one leg so his head could be propped up by one hand, eyes glowing like coals and cigarette in his mouth, was Vanitas.

He glanced up, and smirked, “Little late, friends.”

“We’re not friends.” Sora hissed as he set Xehanort down. He drew his sword. His blood was already boiling, and the only thing that kept him from charging now was Xehanort’s unsteady and languid stance. He was not gonna make it far on his own.

Vanitas hopped off the grave, still grinning. He pulled out the cigarette, a wreath of smoke looking like a crown of thorns. “You know the rules, Sora, I can’t-”

“Cut the shit I know you can if the customer’s willing.” Sora hissed.

“Calling your own boyfriend a customer, tsk tsk,” Vanitas moaned, “how heartless of you.”

“Give. It. Back.” Sora was tensed up, wound to a breaking point. “The deal’s off!”

Xehanort nodded.

Vanitas finally faced them fully, leaning on one leg and tapping his pouting face, “Oh, but your wings, Sora!”

“I don’t want them!” Sora finally charged, pushing Vanitas against a mausoleum in a blink with his sword to that insufferable pale neck, “The deal is off!”

Vanitas, however, wasn’t looking at Sora. “Seven years old. Roller coaster. Perfectly safe until it broke down and sent you hurtling along the ground.”

“What?!” Sora hissed.

Xehanort’s eyes widened.

Vanitas held up one hand, “Didn’t kill you, but left bruised ribs, scrapes, and a nasty concussion.”

Xehanort felt like he had just tumbled along cracked, uneven asphalt just like he had so long ago. His head rang, his skin had cross-hatches of stinging red across all of it and it hurt to breathe. He held his head and staggered, scrunching his face at the sight of the two young men ahead and trying to remember through the painful echoes, “W-who are you?! Where am I?”

Sora’s head snapped to Xehanort, and by the time he snapped it back and hissed “What did you DO?!” Vanitas had melted to smoke and ran elsewhere.

“Fifteen years old!” Vanitas held out his arms with a dramatic cry a few rows of graves over, eyes wild, smile too large, “Hazed in the ways of the underground by stepping exactly where you shouldn’t have!”

Xehanort doubled over, the pain in his ribs escalating and then his head was knocked upward with teeth-chattering force and he staggered. Where were these punches coming from?

“Grandpa got them back,” Vanitas said as Sora charged with an inhuman cry. He disappeared into smoke, “but not before they got you.”

Xehanort coughed, blood trickling from a split lip. At least his head was able to focus enough for him to call for Sora, but even then it was quiet and cracking and accompanied with laborious breaths. Sora didn’t even hear him over the ringing of his own screaming in his ears as he charged and leapt after Xehanort the way a cat chased a mouse.

“Sixteen, nose broken from a deal gone sour!”

If Xehanort had trouble breathing then he certainly had trouble now. Only a mouth to suck in air and iron with a nose stopped up with pain and blood.

“STOP IT!” Sora screeched.

“Gang fight!” Vanitas continued with far too much enthusiasm, “Bullets in the air, and your shoulder!”

An arm went limp, roaring with pain and drenched in rivulets of blood.

“Sora...” Xehanort croaked, clutching the injured shoulder.

Sora slashed at smoke and dust again, “I’M GONNA KILL YOU!”

Vanitas flicked his wrist, “Gramps sure loved to make you a punching bag when things went wrong! Always your fault and always the naivety of youth no matter how mature you tried to be!”

Xehanort felt the backhanded smack that split open his cheek, and with the straw that broke the camel’s back he toppled to the ground. The dull thud of his broken body against the grass finally made Sora turn his head, and he turned on a dime- pale, terrified -to get back to Xehanort. “XEHA!” He skidded to his knees and held him, “Xeha! Xehanort!”

The young man wheezed and shuddered with every breath. One eye was forced shut with sickening purple and the other was squinting with tears. And blood dear god there was so much blood... “Here, Xeha, honey, we need to get you standing...” Sora said and he began helping him up. There was no point except the reassurance he was still alive and still willing to continue. And if Xehanort could still stand, they could beat a hasty retreat if Sora could sweep him up and fly. 

Sora had to shut his eyes at the pained moans Xehanort let slip. “I know, I know it hurts...” Sora whispered. He could at least get Xehanort’s arm around his shoulders and keep the young man barely standing. He could work with this, couldn’t he?

Vanitas had never looked so uncannily alive. Fangs bared in mockery, eyes only burning embers against psychotic white. He was enjoying every second of this. He held up his hands and swung them like a conductor, “23 years old, walking home alone...”

Sora’s head swiveled from Xehanort to Vanitas.

Vanitas shook his head, “What do we say, Sora?”

Sora’s look of fear twisted into pure malice, “Fuck off.”

Vanitas shook his head, “How rude!”

“You killed Riku and you’re not gonna take Xeha, too.” Sora hissed.

Vanitas’s grin faltered. He scowled, and suddenly screamed, “YOU _DESERVE_ TO HAVE EVERYTHING TAKEN!”

“Says who?!” Sora barked back. He took a step backwards with Xeha. They needed another day, more friends, more help.

“Says the boy who withered while everyone loved a fraud.” Vanitas hissed, “A prideful idiot who grew more and more airheaded with each passing day and didn’t deserve to be so beloved, so special, when he never lifted a FINGER COMPARED TO WHAT I DID!”

Sora continued stepping back. “You never did anything. All you ever accomplished was murder-”

“That’s because you never looked!” Vanitas laughed, “That’s because no one ever looked at me the way they looked at you!”

“Because you never gave them reason to!” Sora yelled. “Now forget this godforsaken grudge and leave Xehanort out of this!”

Vanitas glared at Sora. Suddenly old, suddenly sobered, suddenly quiet but still as intense as ever. Sora felt the burden of Vanitas’s gaze and the weight of Xehanort leaning into him.

“Ah, but Sora,” Vanitas raised his hand and turned away, “I can’t leave him out because he makes you happy.”

He sliced the air, “And seeing you happy makes me **_sick_**.”

Xehanort felt the same weightless sensation. The very same tug at his gut and the flash of white-hot pain. He slumped over with a wordless gasp, and Sora let go of his arm to catch him as he fell. Blood poured from his shirt. Golden eyes reflected the moonless sky above. His mouth moved in the tiniest spaces, trying to say something.

“You’re gonna be fine!” Sora pressed his hand to the wound, “You’re gonna be fine!” He started crying, and wailed at Vanitas, “UNDO IT! NOW!”

Vanitas kept grinning. His hand trembled in place. “I can’t.” He said with a wavering finality, “Only if the deal’s undone and I have no hold on him.”

“What’s your price?!” Sora begged, “Anything! Anything please! He can’t die!”

“You should’ve let him suffer in peace, then.” Vanitas giggled. He then said, “But if he does mean that much to you, which means more, now or forever?”

Sora looked ahead, then at Xehanort. He was still in shock, but turned his head enough to stare at Sora right back. Sora hesitantly raised his hand from Xehanort’s wounds to caress his cheek, leaving a streak of red across it like the tears that were being shed.

“Forever.” He whispered.

“Then forever apart!” Vanitas howled with laughter, “My price for you, dear Sora, is to leave and never come back!”

“... no.” Xehanort whispered.

Sora swallowed.

“Choose carefully!” Vanitas said, “Live in the moment now and watch him die right here in your arms, or leave him forever, the spell broken and both of you free to everything but each other!”

“What if I see him again?!” Sora snapped, “What if we find a way?!”

“He’s right back to this the moment you see him.” Vanitas swept his arm, “A dead man with only seconds to live.”

Sora flinched. He felt Xehanort’s hand brushing his arm, likely the strongest gesture he could make, “Sora... no...”

Vanitas held out his hand, “Do we have a deal?”

Sora closed his eyes, then held Xehanort up with a smile, “Xeha... It’s gonna be okay.” He stroked Xehanort’s cheek again, ran his hand through his hair. Xehanort pressed his fingers into Sora’s arm, shaking his head and croaking.

“A... thousand times for... you.”

“Tick tock,” Vanitas said.

Sora raised his head and looked at him, then went back to Xehanort. He wept. “Don’t cry... don’t cry...” Xehanort murmured, “I’m... here.”

Sora smiled, “I’ll always be here, Xeha, okay?”

Xehanort shook his head. “... no... no no no...”

The kiss was rough, hard to enjoy through the pain and salty tears. But they lingered, pressed together, one, whole, and let themselves feel it all. Xehanort felt hope rise; maybe he was going to pass on in peace knowing Sora never left him, maybe this embrace was a proper send off that resisted temptation-

Sora pulled away.

He smiled.

“I love you.”

He turned to Vanitas, “Deal.”

Xehanort could only hold out his hand as Sora burst into unbearable, blinding light. It left him clutching a single feather, and the fatal wound upon his heart. There was no more pain except the tightness of his throat, the burning pins in his eyes, the nails in his skin.

He gasped. Then he sobbed.

Then Xehanort screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoopsie I haven't uploaded this in months and then I subsequently ~~hopefully~~ break your hearts.


	23. Epilogue

The walk home was agony. The bed was cold and empty. The apartment quiet and hushed. Xehanort felt ice and lead in his veins and fire in his eyes, and his stomach lurched and tossed to the point where he couldn’t sleep that night. The feather was soft, and bright, but it burned his skin and yet it held no warmth. His fist ruined it fast enough anyways, crumpling the downy vane and bending the rachis.

Because Sora was gone. He knew a parting was bound to happen, he knew that some point things would fall apart, and yet here he was, bawling like a child. The sun rose in cold gray instead of the opalescent dawn he was used to, but with it Xehanort finally roused himself into a desperate search, a scrambling attempt filled with consulting the web and begging under his breath for someone, something, anything.

He gave up around noon and made himself a peanut butter sandwich for lunch. He set up the Sorry! board just how Sora always would, then carelessly knocked it all over. Xehanort bent over and held his head in his hands. He just wanted to help....

Xehanort remembered Sora’s walking stick, and rose to grab it before returning to the couch to cradle it with all the care he had held his love with.

The sun was going down when Kairi finally arrived, and held Xehanort as he bawled into her arms.

...

The funeral was more for Xehanort than anyone else there. The casket was empty; there was no body to bury that day. The sun shone on an empty, ornate box of dark wood lined with pale blue silk.

Ventus and Kairi were perhaps the only ones who knew what had really happened to merit this, Kairi clutching Sora’s old sword and Ventus fussing with a jacket that was close enough but not quite. They sat on either side of Terra and Aqua, vigilant, wings out in somber salute. Xehanort stood behind his attempt at closure, silent and trying to collect his words and hopes and dreams and to drop every single one into that coffin and then the ground.

The clouds paused to watch, then rolled on as unperturbed as ever. They made the sunlight flicker, making everything dull one moment and gleaming the next. Aqua’s head was bowed and her hands clasped in her lap. Terra was bent forward, hands held together on his knees and forehead pressed against them. Ventus and Kairi looked more like stonework than anything remotely human. The waiting silence was unbearable on all accounts.

Xehanort stared at the empty casket. One pocketed hand held onto a small box that had been held in a slightly bigger one not too long ago... one Sora had rattled about and pestered him before agreeing it was a surprise.

“We’re here today because of a special young man.” Xehanort whispered, the speech all had been waiting for finally grinding past his lips, “A young man who was never meant to become the thief of my heart, only meant to bring me to light.” Xehanort chuckled, “And brought me to light he did...”

Kairi looked at Ven. Ven looked away with a smile.

Xehanort took a shaky breath. He didn’t want to break down yet, not out here, not where anyone could see, not where he was _vulnerable_. If Sora was here he wouldn’t have cared, but... “He brought light to my life in so many forms. He gave me courage to break away from my past, he supported me even amongst his doubts... He became my sun, my stars, my moon, my sky...” He swore as a tear escaped. By the time he had stopped that one more and more kept pouring, and eventually he just let them fall.

“Sora was beautiful... and shining... He was kind and wild and bright and carefree and so many wonderful things. It’s my own mistakes to blame for losing him.”

Aqua raised her head, lips parting a moment before closing to a look of sympathy.

Xehanort looked at Kairi. Perhaps a cue for her role, perhaps a plea to just get this over with. Kairi stood, sword in her arms and wings still raised and fluttering in the wind like flags. She walked forward and set the sword down in the grave, gently, patting it as if sending a child to sleep. Ventus did the same, delicately placing the stand-in jacket over the sword and tying the sleeves around it.

Xehanort waited for Kairi and Ven to sit down before pulling out the box. The velvet cover was soft- too soft. Xehanort felt his hands trembling as he opened it, “There was such a bright future ahead... written in his smile, in his light...”

He pulled out the silver ring, carved to look like wings wrapping around the desired finger in a serene embrace, and bent over to place it atop the effigy, “But I suppose that future is gone now.” He paused there, bent down, still clinging to the ring. He couldn’t let it go, and he couldn’t ask the question that accompanied it.

Perhaps the look on Sora’s face would’ve been the happiest they would be. Or maybe it would be the day where they were both dressed in white and put on those rings for real. Or the retreat afterwards where they could watch the sunset and love and love until they returned home only mildly sick of it. Perhaps it would be growing old and departing together.

But none of that would happen now.

Xehanort finally let go and stood again. He bowed his head and covered his mouth.

“J-just...” He hiccuped before spitting, “Just bury it.” He turned around, not caring to watch as Kairi closed the casket, as Aqua and Ven lowered it, as everyone tossed on a little dirt before Terra began filling it in. In fact, while everyone finished it Xehanort walked away. He caved in and fell against a tree, trying to stop his breakdown but only making it worse. The bark sliding against him seemed fractional pain compared to his loss.

Kairi, Aqua, Terra, and Ven shared a few words over the fresh grave. Things about Sora that they cared about, concern and reassurance on Xehanort’s distraught and broken state. Ventus quietly brought Terra aside and Kairi watched as he attempted to say something, then ushered Aqua over and with her hand found the courage to speak. Terra hugged him in an instant. Ven’s hands were small against his back. Kairi glanced over at Xehanort, doubled over and weeping.

She stood atop the grave, and gently phased down into it.

...

Sora was perched atop the clocktower. He’d been there for... how long was it? Surely the moment since he left. He was too numb for anything else. He’d cried, but it was more an autonomous act than anything conscious, tears just rolling over stone.

Victory was not supposed to feel this hollow, but he should’ve known better by now.

He turned his head when he heard Kairi alight next to him. She sat down next to him, legs dangling, gaze somber.

“It was a lovely funeral.”

“Unnecessary.”

“He needed closure.”

“... Excessive, then.”

“It was what he needed.”

Sora still could not for the life of him scrub the bitter taste off his tongue. No one should’ve had to stand at his grave and weep, he was not there, he did not sleep. He was right here, closing his eyes and taking in the breeze combing his hair and feathers.

Kairi pulled out Sora’s old sword and handed it to him, “Here, this can’t be held down here forever.”

Sora accepted it, “Wish it could.” He paused at a string tied to the pommel, then followed it and-

His breath stopped.

His eyes grew wide.

T-this was...

“For you,” Kairi simply explained as Sora gently pulled the ring off and put it on. He watched it glint and shine on his finger, expression unreadable for anything besides vaguely troubled. Once again that wing motif, once again beautiful silver, once again a gift that was grand and special and just for him.

Sora’s expression melted away, and he curled up on himself to clutch at his hand. He felt Kairi wrap her arm around him in sympathy.

“It’s not fair...” He whispered past the lump in his throat.

“I know.” Kairi murmured.

“I miss him.”

“He misses you.”

“Why did this happen.”

“I can’t say.”

They sat together and watched the sun sink into the earth. As the city lights flickered on and the sky went from fire to ashes.

“Gabe misses you.”

“I don’t care.”

“Everyone misses you.”

“I just want to see him.”

“I know.”

“I want to be happy.”

“You will be, in time.” Kairi emphasized her point by gently bringing Sora’s hands into hers, “Everything heals in time.” Sora’s eyes were puffy and large and sweet and blue as ever. He looked upset, then confused, then finally tired and resigned. He pulled away from her and stood. Kairi stood with him, “Maybe you’ll see him in another life... since, y’know, this one wasn’t enough...”

Sora shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down at the traffic below.

“You’ll see him again. Someday. Somehow. You two have a bond stronger than Vanitas could ever break.” Kairi whispered.

Sora closed his eyes, and his lips curled into a passable smile.

He leaned over, extended his wings, and flew off.

He glanced back at Twilight Town, watching the center grow farther and farther, watching the city grow smaller and smaller. He suddenly, bitterly, laughed at a fond memory that kickstarted this whole mess.

“Be a pistachio while I’m gone, ok?”

And he turned to face the world beyond Twilight Town.

And he never saw it again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and so the wild romp ends.
> 
> I gotta say this was one wild ride of a fic, and probably a mess since I wrote it by the seat of my pants (hence the long hiatus between 21 and 22) so it's probably due for a rewrite here and there. But it was fun to write this! It was nice.
> 
> I'm up for keeping a dialogue going, so if you got any questions just feel free to mention them in the review!
> 
> But for now I'm done, it's 1AM where I am, and I'm ready to rest.
> 
> Goodbye my little angel nerd.


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